Little By Little
by BonesBird
Summary: They return from the mountain, but Jon and Erika both think they may have made a mistake in not pursuing their relationship after they get home. (Set between "Home" and "Borderland", 100% SassCaptains with some appearances from other characters.)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there friends and followers, welcome to my latest adventure into my perfect SassCaptains. So this is a fic long in the making, and I've been talking about it with some of you for a long time. SO. Background. This fic starts 5 days after the last scene in "Home", and finishes at the beginning of "Borderland"... which gave me about 6 weeks to play with. This first chapter was originally a oneshot, but after I had ideas for follow-ups I decided to keep writing. A few months on... this is going to be 40 chapters long. Yes. 40 chapters over 6 weeks. I hope everyone enjoys it, please tell me how you feel about it.**

**As a side note, this is my 300th fic posted anywhere (201st here). So... Yey!**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_Thursday, Week Two:_

He wasn't really sure why he had decided that visiting Erika right now was a good idea. It had been a week since they'd returned from the mountain, and for some reason he just really felt the need to see her again. Since the debriefing they'd both been busy, making sure that their ships were getting the care and attention they needed. But tonight he knew she was back on Earth, and he just wanted to see her again.

He'd even pulled a bottle of her favourite wine out of his cellar for the occasion. Knowing that Erika would probably enjoy sharing a bottle and some more gossip with him. He had gotten too used to being able to speak to her while they were on the mountain he wasn't really sure what to do now they were home.

When it came to the deal they'd made, he knew it was he who had said that they should leave it on the mountain, and that he still thought that was probably a good idea, but he couldn't. Now he'd reconnected with her he found himself thinking about her all the time, just wondering what she was doing. It had been almost 14 years since they first met, and he still found himself loving her as much now as he always had. Maybe that should have been his first sign that he should throw caution to the wind.

Why was he still stood in the street debating this. He'd walked all this distance, and he was sure that she'd be happy to see him. But it still felt like he was intruding. What if she had a guest, or was already asleep. Her apartment was dark, but she liked to watch movies with the lights off, he had learnt that when they'd lived together. So he decided to just go for it and push the buzzer.

A few seconds later she was jogging down the steps and he could see her through the windows. It was always amusing to know that she still hadn't had the door control to her apartment fixed, despite the years it had been since he'd accidentally broken it. She looked surprised to see him as she opened the door, obviously she hadn't expected him to be here much as he hadn't expected to come.

"What's wrong Jonathan?" She asked after a few seconds, stepping back from the doorway and letting him into the lobby. He smiled as he handed her the bottle of wine then leant forward to kiss her cheek. He walked passed her and started up the stairs, still feeling her surprised eyes on his back.

Whenever he walked into this apartment he felt like he was coming home. Maybe it was all the years he'd lived here, or maybe it was because it was Erika's space, and it actually reflected her personality perfectly. It was a calming space, and he loved it there. He had put his coat on he hangar by the time Erika joined him again. She was just looking at him and it was obvious she was still confused why he was here. "You don't look so happy to see me?" He asked sarcastically, and was surprised when she just narrowed her eyes at him.

"You've dropped in and you're sober. I don't know if that has ever happened before." She teased taking a few steps closer to him. He smiled to her as she did, then took hold of one of her hands, just happy to know that she wasn't going to kick him out. "What are you doing here, Jon?"

"I just wanted to see you. I know that we said we were going to leave things a week ago. But I don't know if I can." He was honest about that, because he needed to tell her that their relationship mattered to him, and that it always would. There were so many things that he needed to do and his experiences in the Expanse had told him that he shouldn't pause and wait for things to happen.

Erika just looked at him with a look of utter confusion, and he didn't know what was unclear about his statement. She patted his cheek then walked to the sofa, motioning for him to come and sit next to her. It wasn't until he was settled that she started speaking. "Jonathan, we decided to leave it there for good reasons. You know I love you, but we can't."

"Why can't we? You were right, I'm not your superior any more. We're the same rank and we have the same responsibilities." He leant against her slightly, wanting to just hold onto her for a little while. "We're a good fit, we always have been. Let's just do it." He stroked her arm gently then took a chance, leaning forward and kissing her lightly. She almost immediately responded, then pulled him closer. He couldn't help but pull her over him, onto his lap. His hands slipped to her waist, while her hands tangled into hair then slid to his chest. He took a breath for air, and she rested her forehead against his. "I take it that means you agree with me?"

"In part. There is a lot for us to work out, Jon." She said, smiling a little as she played with the button at the top of his shirt, it was one of the little things she did that always made him smile, one of those things that made him fall in love with her over and over again. He just rested his hands on her hips with a smile, he knew he'd mostly convinced her already.

"Is there really? I love you, you love me. We keep it silent, and nobody needs to know." He smiled, and a moment later he just grinned as she groaned, it was obvious that he'd won now. This wasn't exactly how he'd planned on tonight going, but it certainly worked. He had really just wanted to see her again, and as the conversation had started it had seemed the perfect chance to do this.

"OK." She muttered before kissing him again. All he could do now was be amazed that she'd been so easily convinced that what they felt for each other was worth everything they were agreeing to risk. He knew this was worth it, he knew that the light and comfort she brought to him was worth what he was willing to put on the line, and he hoped the same could be said of her. She wouldn't be here if she wasn't willing to risk it too.


	2. Chapter 2

**It seems there is some interest for this story! Yey! This gives me a reason to keep going on it! (She says, currently writing chapter 33)**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_Friday, Week Two:_

Erika Hernandez hadn't slept so well in a very long time, and on waking up it was obvious why. Up on the mountain she hadn't had the chance to just lay there and realise that this meant something. They had been up and moving as soon as they'd woken up. Here she had the chance to think on being laid in his arms.

For the last several years they'd been apart, and she'd thought she was over him. They were back to just being friends. She had held a grudge for a while at the beginning. Pissed that to both of them their careers had meant more to them than what they'd had. She'd wanted so much for them, and they'd given it up.

She rolled her shoulders as she slipped out of Jon's arms, his breathing not changing at all. He was asleep, and deeply. She wasn't going to wake him up, as she knew he was struggling to sleep, so now he was out it wasn't worth disrupting him.

Jonathan Archer had been an enigma for her since she was 24. For the last 14 years she had struggled to know exactly what he was to her. He was her best friend, she knew that, he was someone she cared deeply for, someone she loved unconditionally. Their relationship had grown out of the friendship, and it meant so much to her. She didn't think she could cope with losing him again.

The night before she hadn't really asked what had brought him to her apartment, she still didn't know. He'd brought her favourite wine and everything, a bottle they hadn't even opened. Things moving quicker than that, they'd been asleep almost as soon as they'd gotten into bed.

What was it about him that kept her thinking. She had said they had a lot to work out, and she had a lot to work out herself. She put some water on to boil, thinking that a cup of tea might warm her hands up enough that she could get back into bed and maybe get some more sleep herself. It gave her time to think too. Did she want to be in a relationship with Jonathan?

Quickly and simply, the answer was yes. She still loved him, that had never changed, and she still found him sexy as hell. They still shared things in common, and were just different enough to keep it interesting. She wanted to keep everything they were to one another, and would fight for it, but was she ready to risk her career for him.

The truth was she already had. More than once. She made the tea and just stood there, still thinking. Not really able to pull herself from the spot. It was cold out of the bed, Spring not quite hitting yet, leaving a slight chill in the air. More pronounced for her, since she'd never really adjusted to the colder temperatures of places that weren't her hometown in southern New Mexico. She wandered around the counter and looked out over the dawn bustle of San Francisco, the light only just beginning to touch the streets.

She almost jumped when two arms wrapped around her waist from behind, but after a second she smiled, relaxing back into Jon's arms. Marvelling once again how easily they fit together when stood in this position. He rested his chin on the top of her head and smiled, his eyes meeting hers in the window reflection. "You weren't in bed when I woke up."

"I wanted some tea." She held her mug up for good measure. He gave her an unreadable look, and she wasn't sure what to say. He seemed to know without asking, and that didn't surprise her at all. He knew her as well as she knew him.

"Erika-" he started, stepping back a few steps to allow her to turn around and look at him too. There was no point continuing to play innocent. He knew her better than that, so the likelihood of him buying it was negligible.

So she took a deep breath and looked at him. Deciding the honesty, at least right now, was the best policy. "I was just thinking about you, about us." He took another look at her, and she smiled as best she could.

After a second he seemed to realise she wasn't going to say anything more without prompting. "Am I going to be happy with it?"

"I don't know. Because I didn't make a decision." That was a bit of a lie. She knew what she wanted. That wasn't quite a decision, but she knew that she wasn't going to be able to deny that side of it either. She wanted Jonathan in her life, and she was willing to risk almost anything for that. He just looked at her again, then turned around and walked around the counter into the kitchen.

"Don't rush. I'll still be here when you decide." Jon smiled, making himself a mug with the leftover water then coming back around, leaning against the counter back in front of her. She smiled back and nodded, glad that at least he wasn't going to pressure her to decide, even though she had already talked herself into it. "I should get to Command."

That reminded her, they both had other commitments, no matter how much she would have liked to go back to bed they both needed to do other things today. "Yeah, I need to go to Columbia." She hadn't been up to her ship in a couple of days, and she wanted to make sure everything was going well there.

"Are you free tonight?" Jon asked, pulling her gently back into his arms. Being held there was something she enjoyed, something comfortable. Long before they had a relationship they had held one another like this and it had always made her feel safe. She knew many women didn't like to admit they enjoyed being hugged like this, but she did and he knew it.

She mentally ran through her plans for this week, but she was pretty sure that once she returned to Earth she had nothing planned. She had promised Veronica another night out, to make up for the one she had abandoned when Jon had returned home. She had a few meetings she'd rescheduled due to going climbing with him, but otherwise her social calendar was pretty bare. "I should be." She confirmed after a few minutes, and she almost hit him when Jon smirked. Making it obvious he had a plan for the night she wasn't yet privy too.

"Wear that nice dress. I'm taking you out. Let's celebrate my homecoming properly." He smiled and kissed her forehead before leaning down and kissing her deeply. She was taken aback for a moment, and when he pulled away she just stood there with her eyes closed, trying to think for a moment longer about why she was even debating this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks, as ever, to my regular reviewers Amelia and Brankel.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_Friday, Week Two:_

He had wondered if Erika would be ready to actually talk tonight. It didn't really matter to him either way. He had wanted to celebrate her promotion with her in a proper setting, not to mention his return from the Expanse, and her decision that they would at least talk about where they were going and what they were doing. He had made reservations at their usual restaurant, and had found what few non-uniform clothing options he had in his apartment, then set out to hers, ready to walk her to their destination. "That's a new one." He smiled as she came out of the door, and it was obvious that she didn't understand at first.

She looked down the steps at him with sheer confusion. Not that he blamed her entirely. He probably remembered her dresses far too well. This one was definitely new since they'd last seen each other outside of Starfleet attire. "You weren't specific about which dress." Erika muttered after a moment of thinking over his statement.

"We're not going anywhere special, Rike." He said, wondering if she was looking maybe a little too dressed up for the occasion. Then again he was actually in a shirt that had all it's buttons. Which was an achievement in itself.

"I didn't wear this for the place." She commented, and that cheered him a little. He kept watching her for a second as she span round to check the door again.

"I'm flattered." He grinned, smiling as she completed her spin and glared at him.

Once she stopped she just gave him one of the greatest 'you have to be kidding' looks he could remember getting in his life, and it reminded him that Erika wasn't the kind of person who tried to impress people who didn't deserve it. "Didn't wear it for you either."

"Now I'm less flattered." He gave an exaggerated frown, laughing as she punched him in the arm lightly.

"Well, what can I say I like to be pretty." She grinned again, falling into step beside him and linking her arm through his. It had been a long time since they'd walked like this, and he was enjoying it already.

They set off walking together in the direction of the restaurant. It was a long way away, but that was why he'd made the reservations for so late. When they'd been dating, and living in what was now her apartment, one of the best things about a busy week drawing to a close was this long walk to their favourite restaurant. After a few minutes of walking arm in arm he'd slipped down and taken hold of her hand instead, threading his fingers through hers as he did. He wasn't even sure what story they were laughing at now, but he was just enjoying hearing Erika laugh.

"Captain." He heard in a familiar voice, his attention was drawn away from Erika's lilting laugh as he realised it was someone addressing him. At least the voice was from a senior officer, someone he could be a little happy to see, even if it was a little strange seeing any of them here. They all lived in the same city, why hadn't it occurred to him that they may run into someone they knew.

"Hoshi, Travis." He smiled, stopping short of them and smiling, then motioned to Erika who was still beside him. He doubted either of them had met her, despite Erika's meddling to get Hoshi assigned to _Enterprise_. "This is Captain Hernandez from _Columbia_."

"Oh, Captain, hi." Hoshi was the first one to say anything, and then they both smiled. Erika returned it a second later, but he could tell they were both feeling a little busted. Their night out made infinitely more complicated by this chance meeting.

"Hello ensigns." Erika replied with a smile then looked up at him and tugged his hand gently. "Jon, we'll be late." She encouraged him onward, either she was hungry, or she just didn't want to be waylaid by two junior officers. He'd ask them what they were doing when they all returned to the ship.

"Of course. I'll see you both later." He smiled to the two curious ensigns then walked around them, letting Erika guide him in the direction of the restaurant.

Erika grinned, and when they were a few steps away she nudged him with her elbow, holding his hand tightly still. "Well, that was awkward. I don't think they expected to run into you." It amused him as much more than anything that she was able to guess that. It wasn't that surprising really was it, she was always more intuitive than he.

So he just smirked and shook his head. Laughing as he did. "Probably not. It's like running into your schoolteacher when you're not in school."

"I guess." She muttered, and he had to admit, seeing the two had definitely thrown him off his game.

Jon couldn't help but look after the two chuckling ensigns over their shoulder. He couldn't help but feel there would be some new gossip tomorrow. "We might not be as secret as we wanted."

"Why not?" She asked, and he lifted their hands, still clasped tightly together. He hadn't wanted to let her go, even though they had been trying to keep things quiet. "Oh, yeah. That would say, probably not." She smiled and squeezed his hand before continuing on after him.

"They'll keep it quiet, don't worry." He tried to reassure her, understanding that she might be worried. They weren't sure what they were to one another yet, having to try and justify it to anybody else was too much, and was definitely far more than he was ready to do, and he was the one pushing for this.

"I hope." Erika looked down a moment, and for a second Jon wondered if she was checking where she was placing her feet. Then it lasted a few seconds too long, and he realised she was worrying either that he was wrong about Travis and Hoshi, or that someone else might see them. Given where they were, he was more willing to bet on it being the latter.

"We could always not walk like a couple?" He was joking, though if Erika wanted them to stop he would. He looked at her as she pulled one of her 'thoughtful' expressions, which she generally did to tease him. But he still found himself just hoping that she wouldn't drop his hand.

Instead she did the opposite and held it tighter. Lifting his hand to her cheek and smiling. "Oh no, I don't think I'd like that."

"Erika?" He asked, knowing that what she said was telling him something, but he wasn't entirely certain what she was saying.

"Jonathan. Look. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with, I know that. I hide my feelings and I don't like talking about things." He stopped walking as she spoke, looking at her seriously. Was she going to tell him what she was really thinking this morning? He was about to argue with her about he characterisation of herself, but it didn't seem she was going to let him. "But I told you this morning I was thinking about things, and I have. This, all of this, reminds me how happy we were, and I want that again." Her words told him that she'd decided. That wasn't completely surprising and he was relieved to hear that she wasn't telling him they were done, exactly the opposite.

"Are you telling me we're all in?" He asked. He'd wanted to give Erika all the chance to think. He knew, he'd always known, that they had something special, and he never wanted to miss that, or lose it again. Erika smiled at him and squeezed his hand as she slipped it her's back around his fingers.

"Let's see how things go while you're on Earth, but for right now, tonight, I'm in." She smiled as he leant down and picked her up, spinning her around before kissing her strongly. Being in public made him want to shy away from this, but he also didn't want to stop. They were both in their civilian clothes, so hopefully they wouldn't be noticed.


	4. Chapter 4

**OK so... this was the first "accidental smut" chapter. There are a couple more. **

**Shin xx**

* * *

Friday, Week Two:

As her back hit the wall Erika couldn't help but think about everything that had brought her to this moment. This singular moment that was going to change everything for the both of them. They'd talked over dinner, but it hadn't been about the important things they needed to talk about. That was why she'd invited him back to her place. To talk, to share their last ideas. That wasn't what was happening. Instead they had walked into her apartment, and the moment the door had shut they had been all over each other. Maybe it was the fact they'd been out for so long, maybe it was them being seen by two of Jon's crew earlier, whatever it was she knew what was happening. This was their choice.

His lips slid to her neck, and she gave up trying to rationalise what was happening. They had never been the easiest couple to rationalise. From the moment they met they'd had this chemistry, and everyone knew there was something more to them, and right now she was being reminded both why they worked and why they didn't talk so much in private.

She groaned a little, her hands slipping through his hair as she decided to go with the flow. There was still plenty of time to talk, there was always time.

"I don't think I can live without this now." Jon moaned against her throat a moment later, and it took her a second to register what he said, she was too washed away in what they were doing to really think it through either. She just knew that she didn't want to live without this, or live without him. She shook it off, definitely thinking that this wasn't the time to break it down.

Instead she kissed him hard, and started unbuttoning his shirt, running her fingers over the new scars that marred his skin since they'd first been together. The visual reminders of everything he'd done in the Expanse. She didn't need any more reminders of the Expanse, neither of them did.

"I missed you." She admitted, it was easier to tell him that when they were like this. When they were the closest two people could be. He paused for just a second to look up at her, and he pressed himself a little closer, pulling her dress up over her head then kissing her again.

Things slowed down, and they became less frantic as he held her hands above her head with one hand as the other fumbled for a moment with the clasp on her bra, then threw it aside, his lips slid from hers to her cheek, her neck. He slid his free hand below the lace of the panties she'd worn. Her breath hitched as he trailed his fingers along the sensitive skin. "I missed you too." He muttered just as he pushed one finger into her, causing her to yelp a little, out of surprise. He paused and she just kissed him again, enjoying the feeling of him inside her as much as she always had.

He slowly started pushing his fingers in, one, then another, all the while massaging her clit with his thumb. Her breath started coming in gasps, and she kissed and nibbled along his neck, his collarbone, all the ways he enjoyed too. This was as familiar as everything else they did together. Familiar and comforting and earth shattering all at once. It was hard to focus on anything for her right now, she wasn't even sure how she was still standing.

"Gods, Jonathan." She cried out, always amazed at how quickly he could bring her up to a boiling point with just his fingers. It was something she'd never experienced until they'd gotten together, then it seemed instinctual. They both knew what the other liked, and she was glad to see that 4 years apart hadn't dulled that knowledge, that connection. She shuddered again as his fingers brushed in and out of her, much slower now, helping her down gently. She sagged against his chest for a second, catching her breath and relaxing her arms. She wrapped herself around him, smiling a little as he lead her through the apartment, barely breaking their embrace for even a second.

When they hit the bed it was her turn to take control, as she always did. Jon grinned at her as she pulled his jeans down, and she was slightly pleased when his blue shorts went with them. She kissed him hard, smiling as he through the duvet over her, just like he always did, making sure she was warm enough at the same time. She slowly kissed down his body, unable not to giggle as he tried to make her more comfortable and just succeeded in slapping her on the cheek.

She took him in her mouth swirling her tongue around him as she did, and there was something ever so satisfying at hearing his groan. There was a rhythm to doing this, something she had learnt long ago. It was always quite nice to hear his moans, and to feel him squirming under her ministrations. She knew where the cut-off was. Where she needed to stop, taking a breath she hovered over him and smiled, lowering herself onto him.

They both shuddered as she settled against his pelvis, taking him as deeply as she could, leaning down to kiss him. A second later he flipped her onto her back, his arms still wrapped around her. There was a serene pleasure to the slow pace they set. More often than not now they had this calmness around them, not needing it to be as all encompassing as it had been when they were younger.

Jon started levering in and out of her to the speed of their breathing, the pleasure coming from the strength and sureness he put into his strokes, she moaned as she started building up again. The quicker their breathing got the quicker Jon moved, and she began arching her hips to meet him. Every movement in complete synchronisation. She breathed heavily, pressing her forehead against his, enjoying every second of it. She heard herself mumbling confessions as she got closer, his reply being to kiss her again. The only thing that mattered to her right then was him. Their shared laughter, helping them both forget the ordeal Jonathan had been through.

Finally she couldn't hold back any longer, and everything exploded around her, she was only partially aware of letting out a scream, but all she could see and hear and feel for a moment was her own feeling, and the man who had brought her to this point. She heard his reciprocal shout and felt his shuddering body coming to a still against hers. She took another few breaths, burying her head momentarily into the crook of Jon's neck and kissing the skin there.

"I love you." He sighed as he rolled off her and pulled her against him. She didn't doubt his feelings for a second, not even an instant. She just knew.

"I know." She paused for a second then kissed him gently, lifting his chin. For as long as she could remember those three words had terrified her, because she'd never been able to quantify love. But since Jonathan had come into her life the first time she'd learnt not to be afraid of it, because she knew if you loved someone, you didn't need to quantify it. "Me too."

She was just getting comfortable, her stomach finally settling from the backflips it had been doing when Jon spoke again, quietly, but loud enough for her to hear it. "Can I stay here tonight?"

"You were planning on leaving?" She asked seriously, not sure what she should think of that after what they'd just done, for the first time since returning from the mountain. They'd shared a bed, but making love had been something they'd avoided so as not to complicate their position. Maybe that had been a mistake.

"Not really but I thought I should ask." He mumbled, kissing her deeply. She felt calm, content. This had definitely been what they needed. Maybe they still hadn't had that serious discussion they'd been planning, but they had worked something out.

"Good choice." She whispered as they rolled together, snuggling a little closer to him. She enjoyed this feeling of familiarity and warmth that she got when she curled up with Jonathan. Why was she so afraid of letting him back in in a permanent fashion. Why was she so against it. She needed to let go, now, and they could work on things before he left again. If he was in, she was in. They could do this._  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**The morning after... I think this one is mostly sweet though.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_Saturday, Week Two:_

The night before had been a strange night, but Jon didn't want to change it. He knew that the choice Erika had made was still preliminary. She wanted to see how things went while he was on Earth, which he would be for a few more weeks, but after that was still open. He didn't want that to be the case, but he also knew that pushing Erika was never advisable. She would make up her mind for good in time. Meeting Hoshi and Travis had certainly thrown them off for a minute, then she'd told him that she was in. They'd celebrated things. His return, her promotion, a new start for the two of them.

He wasn't sure what had come over him when he'd gotten back to her apartment. He certainly hadn't planned on pinning her against the door, but when it had happened it had seemed the most natural thing. They ended up having a pretty thorough workout, he had to admit. It had been slower than anything on the mountain. Back there it had been frantic, the movements of people reconnecting, certain it was all going to end soon. The night before had been much slower, they'd been rediscovering one another. Remembering what they liked, what they didn't. Sex for them had always been mindblowing and meaningful, but he'd known last night as he fell asleep that on some level they were built for each other.

Laying there, Erika softly breathing beside him, was the most content he'd been since long before the Expanse. He still struggled to believe that Erika had chosen to be with him, had chosen to take his demons on and save him. She was there fighting with him as he tried to shrug everything off. He had been through more in the Expanse than even he realised, and sometimes he wasn't sure how to deal with them. So far every time one of those thoughts or nightmares had come on, Erika had been beside him, and she'd helped him through it.

He was still just watching her as her breathing changed, and she looked up. He met her big brown eyes and had to smile. She was so beautiful, even when only just waking up. He leant forward and kissed her gently then pulled back, smiling again. "Morning."

Erika stretched out then rolled over to face him. "Good morning. Have you got any plans for today?" She asked quietly. A smile climbing her cheeks as she did. He knew that she wouldn't really care about his answer so long as he didn't leave yet.

Her question was a good one. Did he really have anywhere he needed to be today. There was nowhere pressing. He was still on leave for another week or two, so going up to Enterprise wasn't advisable, and the only thing he needed to do was get ready for a trip. "I need to pack. I promised I'd go visit my mother. I'm taking next week."

Erika pulled a face, and he remembered how the two women didn't really get on in person. Erika respected Sally Archer, and Sally had actually liked Erika, their personalities just often clashed. They always tried for him, but they were rarely successful. "Oh, fun times for you." The sarcasm in the reply had him rolling his eyes. It wasn't as though the two women never did anything together. They were more similar than they probably wanted to admit.

Then again. They had spent time together recently, without his prompting. That was still one of the biggest surprises of his time in the Expanse, getting a letter from his mother and Erika, at the same time. "You spent last Christmas with her and you both survived!"

"That's true, she missed you and didn't have anywhere else to go, I wasn't going to turn her away." Erika's smile reminded him of all the other times she'd done that. For him and for many of their mutual friends. She hated to leave people alone. "So you're going for a few days?" She asked, and he just nodded then kissed her gently before pulling back.

"Yeah. She wants to know I'm alright after everything that happened." He picked up Erika's hand then threaded his fingers through hers. Just watching how their hands looked when clasped together. Erika was watching as well, but he knew she was just waiting for him to go on. She pulled his hand to her lips and kissed his knuckles then smiled at him. Giving him the encouragement to continue. "I might go visit my dad while I'm there too."

"Tell him that you saved Earth?" Her question wasn't mean or malicious, but for some reason it still caused yet another shiver of self-doubt to course through him. He hated feeling like this. Like he had done a lot of wrong, a lot of bad things. He didn't want his father to know about those.

As the silence dragged on he realised he needed to say something, anything, just so he didn't end up hating himself again. Erika had helped pull him out of that hole once, but it was still too easy for him to fall back into it. "Something like that."

Erika, as always, knew exactly where his thoughts were. She just smiled at him and he knew she was still there, supporting him like always. "You did a good thing, Jon." She whispered then laid back, squeezing the hand she still held tightly. "Be proud of yourself Jonathan. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you," he muttered. That was what he'd needed to hear. That someone was proud of him, that someone knew he'd done all he could, and Erika knew everything. That was a definite upside to her position. She knew everything he'd done. If she could still love him, still be proud of him, while knowing everything that he'd done. Maybe he had things to be proud of still. He took a breath and then kissed her hand this time, and changed the subject again, back to their plans. "I'll be back on Friday. What are your plans for today?"

"It's Saturday, right? I don't think I have any. I need to take some more things up to _Columbia_ in preparation but I'm going to do that Monday." Erika got an impish smile on her face, and there was a hint of amused laughter there from the start. Whatever she was thinking, he felt he was probably going to love it. "Want some company while you pack?"

"You always used to get annoyed at how I packed?" He commented with a frown. She'd threatened to beat him with his bag once. It had been hilarious, but she had sworn she'd never help him pack again.

"I can try and help at least." She smiled sweetly, and he just smirked, he wasn't going to turn down her company, or her help packing. He nodded, giving her a clear indication that he wanted her with him. After a few moments she grinned again and spoke. "Let's do that later though. I don't think I want to move yet." She then leant up and kissed him hard. He was as able to read the signs as anyone, and he was quite happy to agree to Erika's request. Wasting a Saturday morning in bed seemed fair to him, especially after the last year. It also meant he didn't have to think about what he was going to say to his mother about everything that had happened.


	6. Chapter 6

**A little bit of Erika's XO and best friend... just what we all like.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

**Tuesday, Week Three:**

Erika had only agreed to join Veronica for a drink in the 602 Club because she didn't want to spend the day alone, but right now she was regretting her decision. It seemed like everyone in Starfleet wanted to know about her relationship. At least everyone above the rank of Commander. She was a little fed up of having to tell everyone that she and Jonathan weren't a couple. She'd hoped that a quiet drink with Veronica to honour their friend a year after his death would be without questions. She'd been proven wrong. "You and Jonathan seem cozy."

"Don't start, Ronnie." She groaned, shaking her head. It was annoying enough that Jon had only been gone to his mothers for a day and a half and she was already missing him. She missed waking up in bed with him curled up beside her, and she missed his teasing, and his reading over her shoulder. She was definitely in too deep right now, and she wasn't sure she could cope with Veronica's commentary.

"Not starting, I think it's adorable. You two have always suited each other."

"It's been different. I admit. Not at all like before. But still good, really good." She felt the need to clarify, that just because it was different doesn't mean it was worse, or better. It was just different.

"You're older now, both of you." Veronica commented, waving over another drink from the bar. Probably not the best of choices.

She just turned and glared. It had only been 4 years. "Not that much older."

"I don't know about that. Jon seems a lot older." OK, Erika couldn't argue with that. The optimistic puppy she'd lived with before had been replaced with a more cautious and realistic man, but she loved them both the same. She smiled a little then Veronica leant in closer, dropping her voice as she did. "Do you ever worry what happened to them will happen to us?"

"No." She answered straight away. Barely having to even think.

"Really?" Veronica sounded surprised. Erika couldn't really blame her. Starfleet on the whole was seeing negative things from _Enterprise_'s mission to the Expanse. The personnel losses, the damage to ship and crew. Erika looked beyond that. Maybe it was spending so much time with Jonathan, or maybe it was just her optimistic outlook on life, but she could see the positives. The experience, the knowledge, the gains. The Expanse was no more, the Xindi threat was ended, along with another threat they hadn't even known existed. It had been a win, whichever way she looked at it.

"Yes. I think about it, but I don't really worry about it. Jonathan had a really shit time out there, that's no big surprise, but they did what they needed to do. I'd be OK with doing that well." _Enterprise_ made it home, they did their duty, and on top of it all they did a damn good job of it. If _Columbia_ was only half as successful Erika would be happy.

"He's really had an impact on you." Veronica smiled, and all Erika could do was shake her head and scoff. "No, he has. You've seemed brighter, since he's been back. Are you actually together?" That was the clearest anyone had asked her, and it made it easier to think of an answer. Also she didn't have to censor herself to Veronica, she could speak what was on her mind. Especially since the two of them were being largely ignored by everyone in the bar.

"I'm not sure. He wants to be, I do too truth be told." That was the clearest she'd ever answered it, too. But Veronica would demand the truth anyway, and like all good XOs she could tell when Erika was talking out her ass.

She wasn't going to let that comment pass though. "Then why aren't you?"

"I told him that while he was on Earth it was going to be an experiment. A trial run. To see if we work in a relationship still." She still thought that was the best plan for them. Even though by this point she knew they both wanted the same thing.

"And?"

She just looked at Veronica incredulously. How was she supposed to know that in four days. Four days. "It's only been 4 days since we started spending time together."

"What about your mountain trip. You started that 2 weeks ago. Surely that counts?" Veronica asked, and it probably should, but somehow it didn't.

She shook her head, the only reason she didn't count it was that 5 day gap where they didn't see each other and didn't speak. Those days had been confusing, but maybe ultimately for the best. That was when she'd realised she wanted Jon in her life. "It would, if we had seen each other right away when we got back. Instead he waited 5 days."

"You waited 5 days too Erika." Veronica pointed out, and Erika hated that, technically, she was right. They'd both waited 5 days. Not just him.

"I thought he just wanted to leave it on the mountain. Some kind of, physical comfort that he'd needed and we'd go back to being friends. That's not what happened." She smiled and looked down into her glass, reliving all of Friday night in detail. It had been perfect.

"So you two have done the do since?" Veronica asked with a smirk. Ah, routine. It wouldn't be a night out with Veronica Fletcher if she wasn't asking leading personal questions.

"Friday night. That's the only time. We were waiting so as not to make things more confused. Then we went out for a meal and got back to my place and it was the most natural end to a night like that. It just happened and it actually helped my decision, weirdly enough. I do want to be with him, but there are career concerns, for both of us."

"Captain Hernandez!" Was called, and Erika looked up, seeing one of the two ensigns from Friday's encounter. He'd obviously looked her name up when they got back to the ship.

"Hello ensign, you're one of Jon's crew, right?" She clarified, even though she probably didn't need too, like the others at a nearby table she recognised the mission patch on the arm of his jacket, almost as easily as she recognised _Columbia_'s patch anywhere.

"Ensign Mayweather, yes sir, ma'am, Captain." He stumbled over how to address her, managing to cover all the bases at once. It was quite sweet.

She did think it was probably best to put him out of his misery as best she could. "Captain is fine, ensign."

"Yes Captain, I'm his pilot." Mayweather managed to take up the thread of her conversation pretty quickly.

Veronica snorted and shook her head, mumbling probably louder than she intended. "I bet that's a laugh riot with Jon on the ship."

"Sorry, Ensign, this is my XO, Commander Fletcher." She waved a hand in Veronica's direction. "Are you enjoying your leave?" She felt small talk was the most polite to do until he actually got to the point of his approaching her. He'd get there before long, she was sure.

"Very much. Captain." Mayweather took a breath and shot a look at his friends, all of whom were looking over at them with a great amount of interest. "I've been sent over because, well, we've been trying to get in contact with Captain Archer today, and we can't seem to reach him. Do you know where he is?" Well, this was the beginning of the end, wasn't it. At least they all seemed to think she was just Jon's friend. That was helpful.

They probably would until her next comment, but Jon had made it very, very clear he didn't want anyone finding him at his mothers'. He and Sally needed some time together too. Despite Jon being in his 40s now, Sally Archer was still the most overprotective momma Erika knew of. "I do. I'll be speaking to him tomorrow, do you want me to ask him to contact you?" At least she asked.

"Yes please, ma'am. It's not urgent, but we'd still like to talk to him."

"Sure. Enjoy your evening." She nodded. Trying to dismiss the Ensign politely, she wasn't sure it worked.

"You too ma'am." Mayweather smiled then headed back to his original table. Erika didn't even need to look at Veronica to know what the other woman was thinking, and what she was about to say.

"Well. That was fun. He's cute."

"He's too young for you." The ensign couldn't have been any older than 27. Veronica tended to prefer older, and tended to prefer women.

"I was thinking about for my cousin." Veronica defended with a grin then shook her head and turned back to Erika seriously. She knew that their previous conversation wasn't done just because it had been interrupted. "Anyway. You and Jon should just go for it. No come on Erika you two are made for each other." She banged her hand on the table, and all Erika did was stare at her a second. Not really eager to revisit the topic.

"Hey, come on. We should go see Ruby, now we've had our drink for the anniversary." She downed the drink and frowned, suddenly remembering why she hadn't wanted to be alone.

"Yeah, we should." Veronica lifted her glass into the air and looked up with a frown. "I miss you AG you crazy bastard."

"You're a crazy bastard." Erika commented and finished her drink, shaking her head all the while then heading for the back stairs that led to the apartment above the bar. She shouldn't be surprised that Veronica was pushing her to reconnect with Jon, everyone else seemed to be too. Had been since the day _Enterprise_ got home. Maybe she should just embrace it. It was going to be easier than anything else. Plus she really did love Jonathan, and it would be nice to have someone who would never turn down her call if she got the chance. It was time she stopped letting fear run her life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Jon's mother admitting she likes Erika a little. Erika and Sally's Christmas was set up in "Protecting Paradise".**

**Shin xx**

* * *

**Thursday, Week 3:**

He'd been home for three days and the whole time he had avoided talking with Sally about too much serious. He had told her all about his friends, his crew. The declassified parts of the mission that he could talk about, the parts that weren't going to get one or the other of them arrested and thrown in prison. He told her more about the mission before the Expanse, the planets and the species they'd made friends with. He'd also dodged any and all questions about his relationship status, though for the first time he could remember, Sally Archer had avoided that topic mostly too. He had sat down to breakfast today and his mind had slipped back to Erika, they'd spoken the night before and he'd realised how much he was missing her, and they hadn't been apart for long. "I'm not saying it hasn't been nice to have you home, Jonathan, but you seem pretty far away?" He heard from a distance, and his mind snapped back to the present and his mother was just staring at him, a look of concern on her face.

He looked up and wondered if he should tell her what was going on, but he also wasn't sure if he was ready for her to tell him that he should let go. "I'm just thinking ma." He settled on, thinking it would explain it without saying what he was thinking about.

"Oh. Who is she?" Sally asked with a tone that didn't give him much of an out.

How did she know he had been in his head about Erika? He had clearly not remembered how well his mother knew him. It reminded him of being a teenager, and he grinned to himself. He still wanted to know how she knew now. It had been a long time since he was a teenager. "What makes you think it's a she?"

"Because Starfleet passed you clear at the debriefing. I still have my sources in Starfleet. You also keep grinning. Who is she?" Sally persisted, and Jon should have known she wouldn't let him off that easily. Of course she wouldn't.

He didn't want to reveal he was debating about Erika again. She had listened to him flip flop over her for two years a decade ago, and he was sure that it would lead to another lengthy discussion. Maybe not right now, but in future. "Nobody new." He tried, wondering If she'd jump to Erika immediately.

Sally just stopped and looked at him seriously. "Not Rebecca."

Jon couldn't help but burst out laughing at the combined look of both horror and disgust that Sally managed to have. He knew that out of everyone he had ever dated, Sally had disliked Rebecca the most, actually on a level with how much she had disliked Jon's decision to join Starfleet, though she had mellowed on her dislike of his career in the decades since. At least he could cheer her up on that point. "No, ma. It's not Rebecca. I'm pretty sure she's married now anyway." He had heard rumours of that but he didn't know for sure. He should find that out.

She unfroze after a second and smiled, though this time it looked more like she was thinking a really evil thought. Probably about whoever had married Rebecca. "Really?"

"Yes." He wasn't going to clarify and give her more ammunition to be horrible about his ex. Considering it had been a decade.

After a few minutes of chuckling she looked at him seriously. "Then it must be Erika. I've not seen her since Christmas. What's she doing these days?" That question was not exactly what he'd expected when it came to Sally thinking about Erika. Though the two women didn't get along, they didn't dislike each other either. Still he hadn't expected her to be so cheerful about the fact he was thinking about Erika Hernandez.

He was proud of where Erika was now, however, and he was sure that was going to show through as he spoke. Not that he was going to be ashamed of that either. "She's a Captain, got the NX02." He felt the grin growing as he spoke, and was glad to see it was returned by Sally.

Sally nodded, finishing off her bowl of fruit with another smile. "I liked Erika. She was intelligent and thoughtful, and she thought the world of you." She glared at him a little there, and it was obvious she was accusing him. Sally had known what Erika had thought of him, and he wondered if Sally was actually annoyed that he and Erika weren't together? That would be the surprise of the century. "Why did you two stop seeing each other?"

He grimaced, not wanting to go over that question again. It had been bad enough two weeks earlier when Erika had asked him the same question. Though that had been followed by something very pleasurable. "I was promoted, she wasn't. It wasn't appropriate anymore."

Sally grasped that immediately and nodded, then smiled. "And now it is again are you two seeing each other?"

"We're the Captains of the only two Warp 5 ships." The irony of his seriously repeating one of Erika's comments two weeks previously struck him almost immediately. He now knew that Starfleet almost certainly wouldn't be supportive of them, but he still didn't want to give up on a possible future between them.

Sally, it seemed, knew exactly what he was thinking, somehow. "Don't put off happiness because of a technicality Jonathan." She advised, and he nodded. He trailed off to think. He didn't want to put anything off and he didn't want to lose Erika again, but at the same time he didn't want to risk both their careers. Would they be risking their careers? That was another question entirely.

That was when he realised, his mother was pushing for one of his girlfriends. Something she had never done before. "I never thought I'd hear you advocating for one of my girlfriends."

She scoffed and slipped offer her stool, giving him a look that told him he was being dense. "We both know that Erika is more than just another one of them. I have to go to work, I'll be back later."

He looked over his shoulder and watched as she pulled her briefcase out of a stack of papers beside the sofa. "I'm going out today, I'll be back tonight."

"I'll make dinner." Sally smiled then kissed his cheek. Jon just looked after her as she began searching for her bags, glad to see that no matter the time that passed she was still as disorganised as she always had been in his youth.

Jon had made the decision that morning that on his mothers' one day at work he'd go up to the cemetery in his hometown and think. It was apparently the place he could think and decide on things the best. So once she left she pulled on his jacket and started walking up there, hoping that it helped clear his head a little one way or the other.

There was a calmness here, where Henry Michael Archer had been buried. Jon had to admit his mother had picked a beautiful plot when she'd decided on here, and Jon always felt calmer when he visited. Right now he wasn't here to say anything, he was just here to think. To lay flowers and reflect on what he thought his father would have been thinking about his son right now. Would Henry have been proud of what he'd achieved, would he have been angry at the steps Jonathan had had to take to achieve it. Would it really matter one way or another?

What would Henry's advice be to his only child. Would he agree with his wife that he shouldn't sacrifice his happiness again, or would he remind Jon that the rules exist for a reason. Would he not care, and just want Jonathan to be happy. There were too many questions that Jon couldn't answer, because he just didn't know, and Henry was not able to fill them in. What Jon did know was that here and now he wanted to make his father proud, one of the driving forces of his life, but he also knew he needed to do things for himself. So his mind was made up. On this hillside with only the ghosts of those who resided here as company he made a decision, and that was the important moment. He'd decided.**  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**I have no real idea what this chapter is other than some fluff. Also... while this chapter says they are almost halfway through... you have many chapters yet to come. I just finished the story... and it's 40 chapters long.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

**Friday, Week 3:**

In an almost identical repeat of the previous Friday night, Erika Hernandez found herself pinned against the furniture in her apartment. This time it was a slightly more planned manoeuvre, but that still wasn't changing the fact that they were together. It amused her in slightly disturbed ways that it had been almost exactly a week. Today they hadn't been on a date, or even out at all. Once Jon had got back from New York they had collapsed onto her sofa and started watching crappy movies.

They had talked in depth about his mother, and about his friends from his summers spent there when he was younger. Erika always loved hearing those stories. They had been the beginning of this situation, he had moved closer and closer as they laughed, or maybe she'd moved closer. Then the next thing she knew, his lips had been on hers and they were lowering to laying on her sofa.

She shifted slightly so she was in a more comfortable position, then ended up smiling into another kiss. Whether or not this had been planned, after almost a week of not seeing him she wasn't going to complain. She made quick work of his shirt, throwing it across her apartment to find at another time. He took more care with hers, even though at this point she'd only been wearing her pyjamas. It was nice to have him almost pinned to her front, especially in the chill of her apartment. He rolled her shorts off, and all she could do was giggle as she kicked them aside.

"I missed you this week." Jon muttered as he slid into her, and for a second she was completely speechless. It was too much for her to try and speak right this moment. She needed to allow her emotions and her hormones to settle again. They had been warring with her all week. She'd been trying to tell herself she could survive without Jonathan Archer, they had disagreed.

Jon kissed her again lightly, slipping out and then in again as he did, just enough to remind her that they were laid there together, and she could be honest. He wasn't going to judge her for anything. "I missed you too, I'm glad you're home." She smiled as he pulled back a bit to look at her seriously, then returned her smile with extra wattage. Those were obviously the words he had been waiting to hear, and she was glad she could say them.

They laid as close together as they possibly could, her legs wrapped around his waist helping him hit all the right spots. She allowed herself to be washed away with the emotions and feelings. It was comfortable and familiar. When they were both spent, breathing heavily, Jon shifted the cushions from behind them and cuddled around her from behind, holding her tightly against him again.

She threaded her fingers through his as she snuggled back slightly, going back to look at whichever film it was they'd started ignoring to pay more attention to each other. That was when she realised that in a few days _Enterprise_ would have officially been home for a month, and would be halfway through the estimated repair schedule, which meant that soon Jon would be making the trip up to spacedock with her. They'd both be visiting their special ladies. "You're back on duty this week."

"Yeah." He muttered quietly, almost directly into her ear. She sighed a little, feeling more comfortable than anyone probably had a right to be.

If they were making the trip together, maybe she should show him the rest of her ship. They'd only seen the bridge last time before he'd been called away, and while their ships were almost identical, there were a lot of upgrades _Columbia_ had that _Enterprise_ didn't, and wouldn't be able to have, even with their upgrade. "Want to come and see _Columbia_ again?" She asked, she also just really liked showing her ship off.

"You'll let me back on your ship?" Jon laughed, and she could sense the grin on his face as he did.

"You only saw the bridge last time, I should show you the upgrades to the rest of the ship." She smirked to herself and kissed the underside of his arm that was visible to her. It was comforting to have him there, and to know that he knew how it felt, being almost ready to launch but not being quit there yet. Plus, he and her ship were the most important things in her life for the moment, they needed to agree with each other. "I really want you two to get along."

Jon made a little noise that generally indicated he was thinking, then kissed her cheek. "Monday we can do that. I have to go and pick Trip up from the shuttleport tomorrow."

She had to think for a moment, she knew she had something on tomorrow, but what it was she wasn't sure. It probably had to do with mission prep, almost everything seemed to be mission prep right now. "I have a meeting with Gardner tomorrow too. Want to grab dinner at Lorenzo's when you're free."

"Might have to tell you that in the morning, Trip's call made it sound like not all was good on Vulcan." There was a little hint of worry in Jon's voice, and Erika wondered for a moment if Jon's long time friend had maybe been left alone.

"Poor guy." She commented, not really thinking too much about the comment.

Jon sniggered a little against her ear again and squeezed her hand. "Have you ever met him?"

"Not in person, I know of him though. Through you and AG and some of the others from the programme." That reminded her of the very polite refusal she'd gotten from him and a few others on Jon's crew over the last few weeks. "I have offered him a spot on my ship, full well knowing he'll turn it down. It's a matter of form, you know that. I have to offer even though I know they won't take it."

"Hmm." Jon mumbled then kissed her earlobe before settling back into almost silence, watching and laughing at the stupid comedy that was playing. Every so often she'd squeeze his hand, and get a reassuring squeeze in return. "Kiona Thayer." Jon said the name out of the blue, and Erika just had to think a few minutes, but still wasn't getting the context.

"What?"

He shifted slightly and kissed her cheek again, then explained his comment. "For tactical, you asked who I thought for tactical." No wonder she had been confused, she'd asked him for his recommendations for her crew weeks earlier.

"Three weeks ago! OK. Thayer. I'll set up an interview with her."

"Good." He curled down behind her, his arm tugging her waist against him closer, fitting into the bowl of his spoon better. She could happily sleep here all night, but considering the chill and the lack of blankets she knew that they were both going to need to run to the bed soon. She laid there until the cold was too much for her, at which point she kissed his arm then sat up.

"I'll race you to the bedroom. Last one in bed loses." She wasn't sure what either of them would lose, but it was fun to race, and it would no doubt mean they'd collapse to the bed in a fit of giggles like usual. There was something great about that, and she'd be warm, under the covers with someone she loved very much. It was the best end to a Friday night she could imagine.


	9. Chapter 9

**Bit of Jon and Trip stuff.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_Saturday, Week 3:_

Trip had seemed more than a little morose since Jon had collected him. It wasn't really a common emotion for the engineer, and that had worried Jon more than a little. Trying to get anything out of him about what had happened on Vulcan. It wasn't seeming to be working so well, so maybe Trip hadn't had a great time, especially since he turned basically everything on Jon. He'd just ended up telling Trip about his entire trip to his mothers'. He avoided mentioning the previous two weeks with Erika, it didn't seem like this was the right time to mention it. So instead they'd walked largely in silence most of the way from the shuttleport. Apart from when Trip was asking questions. "Did you have a good time there?"

"I did. It was nice to see my mother again." He smiled, it had been really nice to see his mother again, to spend time with her again. Even if he had spent most of the time there wanting to be back in San Francisco with Erika. He'd still had a good time catching up with her.

"How is she doing?" Trip asked with a laugh, and Jon had to remember how often his mother had caused problems for the NX team. They had all come to appreciate Sally Archer's occasional visits, even when they weren't happy with how she treated them. Now after all this time they asked about her.

"Cantankerous as usual. How was Vulcan?" He asked, a bit more directly this time. There were some things he got from his mother, one of them being his inability to stop pressing when he felt there was something he needed to know.

Trip didn't seem as happy to have the conversation turned back to him, however. "It was, you know-." He trailed off with a shrug, and Jon knew when he should let something lie. Trip would tell the tale in his own time. That was a certainty.

"I won't ask again, tell me in your own time." He made the point then stopped outside the apartment door, Trip fumbling for his keys as they did.

"Thanks. I'm just not ready to talk about it." That told Jon there was indeed a story to the maudlin mood of his friend, he'd learn about it in time, he was sure.

"No need to explain. Did you speak to anyone else?"

"Hoshi checked up on me a few times after I called saying I was coming home. Think she was worried about me." Trip smiled sadly and nodded his head gently. That didn't surprise him at all when it came to Hoshi. They walked through the door and Jon dropped to the sofa.

Jon chuckled and shook his head. Hoshi was always concerned about all the crew, and she often put them first. If she had heard that Trip was coming back to Earth ahead of schedule she'd have called him as often as she could to make sure he was OK. "That's our Hoshi. Always worried about her friends."

"She did tell me an interesting rumour... About you and Captain Hernandez." Trip gave him the first truly amused smirk since they'd met up, and somehow it didn't surprise him at all that someone would have mentioned the fact they'd be spotted out and about on more than one occasion. He wasn't going to start talking about everything now.

"What about us?" Yes, downplaying it was the way to go for now. Only this was his best friend, someone who might be able to knock some sense into him, one way or the other. Be it telling him to be sensible or reminding him that nobody was sensible and how they felt should come first.

Trip didn't seem to miss a beat on that gossip, nor on Jon's wording. "The fact that there may be an 'us'?"

"Is that such a big deal?" This was definitely a test of opinions, but he really wanted to know how people would feel about them if they made the decision to actually go through with their relationship. Not that Trip was necessarily the best audience.

Trip pulled a couple of bottles out of his fridge and handed one to Jon then sat down on the other end of the sofa. "With you two? Yeah. You're the two Warp 5 captains."

That was not what Jon had wanted to hear, even though he and Erika had both made the same point. His mother had told him to just go on with it. That didn't take into account Starfleet. "Shit, you think people might have a problem with it?" He asked, of course people could have problems with it.

"Starfleet might have a problem with it, our crew, probably not." That was one thing Jon needed to hear, and Trip would know better than most what their crew thought. "I can't say the same for Captain Hernandez's crew though." There was clearly a moment of unsureness there, but Jon knew they didn't have to worry about Erika's crew.

Right this moment her crew consisted of herself and Veronica. Eventually, he was sure that she'd get a full crew. "She doesn't really have a crew yet."

Trip smiled at that then leant over a bit further. "You and her have a long history, I don't think anyone could really make a problem out of it." Trip pointed out, and they had. All of them did. Trip and Erika and many of the others.

"We'll just have to talk about it. Me and her, not me and you." Hadn't he and Erika talked about it enough, and was this really the conversation he wanted to be having with Trip right now.

After a few moments Trip looked at him seriously, and that's when Jon realised his friend might have more of an insight than he was given credit for. "Does she make you happy?"

"Trip, she's the best thing about coming home for me." He smiled again and shook his head. There was so much that he had struggled with that Erika had just known how to comfort him and help him. She was what he needed in his life. "She knows every decision I made in the Expanse, read every report and was literally at my debriefing, and she still spends most of her time with me. I don't get it, I'm not a nice man and she deserves so much more than me."

Trip glared at him and he felt like he may have made the wrong choice in saying that. Or maybe he had not understood something here. "You don't get to make that decision for her, Jon. Like you say she knows you. She's heard the reports and I'm willing to wager by now she's seen all the scars. There is something in you, about you, that she sees that you don't." OK, maybe Trip had a point there. If Erika saw something in him, then what right did he have to say about it.

So he took a breath and grinned at Trip. "You're getting good at pep talks."

"Only for other people, I make myself miserable."

"We should go out tonight." Jon thought out loud, then smiled, remembering all the gossip Erika had shared with him the night before about their friends and colleagues. "Duvall's in town, so is Veronica Fletcher. Didn't you once have a crush on her?"

"Yeah, but she's gay. Very, very, very gay." Jon had known that at the time, but Trip had still tried to chase her. It had been hilarious watching him fall flat on his face several times in quick succession. At least Trip was laughing along with him. "It would be nice to see the old team." Trip admitted a second later and Jon almost clapped. Trip seemed so down, if any single group of people could cheer him up it would be the old team from the NX programme. It would be the first test of if anyone knew he and Erika were back together.

"Be at the 602 at 8. Leave the rest to me." Jon grinned, he knew that Erika would be able to help him rally the old NX team for drinks tonight, at least those who were in San Francisco. Especially with Sam Gardner's expect promotion to Admiral soon. It would be good for them all to get together and reminisce.


	10. Chapter 10

**Erika, being uncomfortable at a party.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_Saturday, Week 3:_

Jonathan had organised this party to try and cheer his Chief Engineer up, and while Erika was glad of any reason to have a party, this wasn't exactly her normal choice of social group. She had stood out like a thumb from this group when they had been working together every day, now she stood out even more, but at least she had her best friend and future XO stood with her. They were at the bar looking out and watching the group of pilots and engineers who were getting progressively drunker and louder the longer they sat there. "Please, please tell me none of these idiots are on the shortlist?" Veronica asked, echoing Erika's thoughts as she did.

The shortlist was pretty much set, and the only person in the room on it was Commander Tucker. Most people were a far higher rank than those who would willingly serve on a ship under her. Some of the shortlist did serve under these idiots though. "No, they aren't. I'd take Tucker if he ever wanted to leave _Enterprise_ but otherwise they are too high in rank."

"Trip Tucker?" Veronica was clearly looking for clarification, so Erika just nodded. "He'll never leave Jon."

"I know that, but still." She shrugged. She didn't actually expect to get any of her first choices, she'd had too much good luck already that Veronica had agreed to join her, and one of her old doctors, Johanna Metzger, was agreeing to sign on too. "I'll keep asking him. Not tonight though. Let him chat with his guys today." She motioned in the direction of the group on the other side of the room. It made her happy to see them all so relaxed.

Veronica clearly followed Erika's eyeline, and that lead to another one of the questions that Erika just really didn't want to answer. "Are you going home with Jon tonight?"

"I have no idea." That was honest. She didn't know. She thought she probably would be going home with him, but it was far from certain. Jon's place was closer to the bar, and she didn't want to have to walk home alone. "I'm not really drinking enough to require it."

There was another drink in front of Erika suddenly, and she just blinked a couple of times before she looked up to Veronica's face. "Then drink more."

"That's not the best advice." She wasn't certain getting drunk was a great idea, but it wasn't that surprising that that was Veronica's advice. It was normally Veronica's advice.

"I like you and Jon together. You're a good couple." Veronica had made that point before too, but it didn't actually help Erika all that much. Erika thought they were a good couple, for obvious reasons, but that didn't mean she was thinking that advice saying 'get drunk' was good advice. "I will bug you to do anything to keep you two together."

"Thanks. I think."

"I should probably go. I have an early start tomorrow. I promised Forrest I'd do the open day." Veronica sighed and necked her drink, then started walking away. Erika was trying to think of something witty to say, but she didn't succeed all that much before Veronica was practically out the door.

"More fool you, my friend. Call me tomorrow." She shouted, then turned back to the bar, focusing on her drink again.

She wasn't surprised a few seconds later when Jon's voice came from behind her. "Veronica going?"

"Yeah she's doing the open day tomorrow." Erika was glad she no longer had to be involved in Starfleet open days. She had never been great at them, but she had tried. This moment of Jon being stood with her was going to give her ample chance to tease him. "Get you, Captain Archer. Arranging this fancy party for everyone. Did you just invite me so the comms officers would get me drunk."

"It's more fun when we get home if we're both drunk." Jon commented, and she should probably have worried that he might have a point.

"You have a point. Shouldn't you be showing off for the pilots and the engineers. All your deep space experience." She was only being slightly sarcastic, she was certain many of them would love to hear the stories Jon had told her. She had certainly loved hearing his positive stories, it reminded her why they had all signed up to Starfleet.

"Rob is boring everyone to death with his story about the trade outpost on Deneva even though everyone has been there." Oh yes, Erika had heard that story three or four times herself. That was no reason Jon should be leaving his friends to sit with her. "I thought I'd keep you company until your fellow linguists arrive."

"The linguists by and large aren't still in Starfleet." Erika wasn't sure what it was about the linguists of Starfleet, the retention rate was atrocious. Probably because they could make more money as civilian translators. One of her old friends was still in the service, and on Earth. She had also asked her opinion on her future crew. "Jane is coming, and we haven't seen each other in a while. She's bringing a list of officer candidates you see, she actually reads them when I give them to her."

Jon definitely didn't miss that she was trying to tease him, and wrapped his arm around her back as he moved slightly closer. "Hey I read it, eventually."

"Erika!" Was shouted from toward the door, and they both looked over their shoulders.

"Go back to your friends, Jonathan. See, Jane's here now." She motioned in the direction of her friend. Probably one that Jon had a similar relationship to as Erika did to Trip. She knew him enough to wave at him in the hallway and say hey from time to time.

The suspicion was confirmed when Jon just nodded to Jane as she sidled up beside them. "Hey Jane."

"Hey Jon." Jane replied, leaving Erika a few seconds to finish the conversation she and Jon had been having, or at least Erika was sure that's what Jane was thinking.

Jon leaned in and whispered in her ear, and the content of what he was implying meant she was happy that he had had the tact to keep it almost silent. "I'll see you after, please be drunk."

"I'll think about it." She answered, laughing after him. She wished she had something to throw at him.

Jane just smiled after Jon as he left, then looked back to Erika seriously. "It's nice to see you two back together. Are you back together?" That question was not completely expected, and Erika wasn't exactly sure how to answer. She thought for a few minutes then shrugged slightly.

"That's a good question I haven't quite answered yet." Despite them practically living together the last couple of weeks, Erika still wasn't quite ready to say they were back together. Not until they'd said that they were back together, officially, to each other. "I'll let you know. Hey Ruby. One more for the lady, oh and one for Jane too. What've you got for me." Erika thought that focusing a little on work while she was drinking was the better idea. Especially as the raucous laughter from the table in the corner continued getting louder and louder. She was glad her friends and their friends were having fun, and she got to have a civil and grown up conversation. It was a good night, but she was definitely going to be drunk.


	11. Chapter 11

**Just a little SassCaptains fluff.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Sunday, Week 3:**_

Jon had been laid comfortably listening to Erika's breathing while she slept. It was one of his favourite things since they were spending so much time together here. It reminded him that he wasn't alone anymore. Erika was there with him, and he could depend on her when he needed her. So he'd laid there, quietly, listening to her breathing. That was until she rolled over and fixed him with a glare. "I'm going to kill you." Were the first words out of her mouth, and suddenly he realised how much they must have drunk the night before.

But, even though he knew she'd been drunk, he felt the need to ask her why. Maybe he was being a little ridiculous, and definitely self-destructive. "Why?"

The glare just grew, and all Jon could do was try not to burst out laughing. "I have the worst hangover I've had in years. Since the last time you arranged a 'party' actually as I recall." Erika's accusation reminded him of everything else they'd done for years on the NX Programme. He would try and organise parties and gatherings which would almost always end up on the floor of Erika's apartment. Him, AG and Erika would be sleeping in various positions all over. It was a long time ago.

But, Erika's choice of drink was her own fault, and he wasn't going to be blamed for that. "Hey, you drank."

"You kept asking me to be drunk." OK. She had a point. He had asked her to be drunk several times over the course of the night, and he'd been richly rewarded when they got home.

But that still really wasn't his fault. Erika had still chosen to drink herself. "I'm not seeing the connection." He teased, and finally he broke and grinned. He couldn't keep it up for too long. She bopped him on the nose with the palm of her hand, her recent favourite way of 'punishing' him when he was teasing her.

"Hey, are you still coming up to _Columbia_ tomorrow?" That question took him by surprise. He hadn't forgotten their plans for a second tour of _Columbia_. He'd missed a lot on that ship already even though they'd tried a tour. He had been distracted and angry, and she hadn't been able to distract him. So a second tour of the ship was good.

"Yeah, I'm going to check in on _Enterprise_ then come look around your ship again." _Enterprise_ was in good hands, he knew that, but he still wanted to check in on his ship. Especially seeing how excited Erika was about her ship. He was sure there were going to be more things he hadn't seen. "I want to see what else you've upgraded."

Erika rolled more onto her side and rested her hand on his stomach before looking up at him and grinning. "Weapons, engine, Captain." Her look said it all, and he really should have expected her teasing after she started being affectionate. "They definitely upgraded Captains."

"Hey, that was uncalled for." He pouted in response, knowing that if he didn't reply at least once that she had won she would just make it worse. He apparently made the right choice as Erika stretched out beside him then started rubbing her hand in circles on his stomach again.

He started getting sleepy the longer Erika rubbed the circles. It had always been an easy way to calm and comfort him. He was almost asleep when she next spoke. "My brother heard you were in town, he's up here on business on Thursday, wondered if you were free for dinner?"

That got his attention, and he sat up a little. Simon Hernandez had never asked after Jonathan for dinner in the 11 years he'd known him. While the two men had spent time together from time to time, they'd both been well aware that Simon hadn't particularly approved of Jon as a partner for his little sister. It made Simon asking if he'd join them for dinner even more surprising. "Your brother never before wondered if I was free for dinner."

"I guess his stance on you has lightened up on account of you being a galactic hero. You're obviously good enough for his baby sister now." Erika grinned and stretched out. He had to shake himself to remember what they had been talking again. She was good.

Suddenly there was a moment he realised this was yet another reason why being an only child was better. Erika and Simon often had some hilarious sibling rivalry moments, but Jon had no intention of going along with them or getting involved in them any further than he already had been. "And this is why I'm glad I'm an only child."

"Hey, I love having a brother." She defended, and he wondered if she would say that the day after seeing her brother.

"Does he love having a sister though? That is the question. Especially a sister like you." He wasn't quick enough to move and caught Erika's elbow in his ribs. He should have expected it, given that he was teasing her. "Ouch!" He exclaimed as she slipped out of the bed and grabbed one of his shirts

"That was mean, Jonathan." Erika glared at him, clearly not caring that she might of hurt him, or noticing that he was mostly putting it on.

"I didn't mean it like that and you know it." He tried to beg, hoping that she might just come back, mostly because he really didn't want to get out of bed too. "Erika. Come back to bed."

She just turned away and laughed. "Not a chance, meanie. I'm going making a pot of coffee."

"Erika. Come on."

"Come get me, you shitty shit."

"Do not challenge me. I'll do it." He smiled and made a move to get out of bed.

But it clearly backfired, given the challenging look in her eyes and the grin on her face. He was going to have to think of another way to challenge her when he didn't want to do a thing. "Look, Jonathan. If you're going to tease your hungover girlfriend you're going to end up getting in trouble."

"Girlfriend?" He shouted as she left to the kitchen, at least he could tell from the way she spoke that she'd be back with him in a second. "Girlfriend?" He emphasised the first syllable, almost certain he'd pay for that when she came back into the room.

Sure enough a second later she came back through the door carrying two mugs and an annoyed face. "It's the only word that fits right now don't even mention my age."

"Well, you know, you are nearly 40." She wasn't really. She was almost thirty-nine, and she wasn't going to appreciate him aging her. He didn't really care all that much right now. He was having far too much fun teasing her today.

"I'm going to kill you, Jonathan." She sat back on the edge of the bed and he rested his forehead against her back. He was just happy enough that she'd sat back with him without requiring him to get up. "Trip seemed to enjoy himself last night?"

"Yeah. I think everyone did." He was glad that Erika had noticed Trip had enjoyed himself. He'd wondered if it was obvious that anyone had had fun last night. Quite a few of them had said they'd had fun at the party, he'd had more fun when he and Erika had got back to her place. "I know I did. Especially when we got back here."

"Good, I'm glad that that was enjoyable." Her grin took him back to the night before. At least he remembered it, and she did too. They couldn't always say that. "You should arrange parties more often, just don't expect me to drink quite so much at all of them. I am not 24 any more."

"You might not hold your liquor as much as you did at 24, but I love you more now." Well, that was true. They'd all drunk too much in their younger years, but drinking less now made their times together. Maybe agreeing with her would convince her to come back to bed. "So now will you come back to bed it must be freezing."

"A little." She admitted, but she didn't move from sitting beside him. It wasn't that surprising really, she wouldn't move until she had to. "You know, if you go back on duty this week we need to decide what we're doing and what we are to each other."

"You're the one dragging your feet on that, Rike." He commented, and that was maybe not the best way to say it. She was the one waiting to say for sure what they were, but he knew what he wanted. "I'm happy with whatever you want me to be to you. The last few weeks have shown me that I still need you, and I think you still need me."

She sighed and looked away, and he could understand why. Maybe he was coming on a little hard right now. "Jon, I'm nearly there, OK. I nearly know for sure what I want and what I'm willing to risk. So lets just stay here right now, and as soon as I have a word for it I'll tell you." She leant forward and kissed him lightly. He knew that she was still trying to think of what she wanted and where they wanted to go. It was hard to wait, but he knew he needed to. "But you're not going to be without me now. You're stuck with me."

"Excellent. That's just what I need." Jon grinned and wrapped his arms back around Erika, pulling her back under the covers. He was having too much fun with this, and knowing that Erika was almost with him at a level where the two of them could be back together was making everything better for him. All he wanted right now was for that to be reality.


	12. Chapter 12

**Just a little SassCaptains fluff.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Monday, week 3:**_

It wasn't that often that Erika completely regretted a decision she'd made, but she was right now she was in that position. She wasn't sure if it was really Jon's fault, or if she should be blaming everyone and anyone else for the fact that she was leaving the bridge with another embarrassing tale for her to learn to laugh at. She was far too clumsy to be on what was essentially a building site. It was all made worse by Jon reciting a story from the NX programme, one she'd actually forgotten about until it was mentioned again. It wasn't the most complimentary of stories, either. "I can't believe you said that." She hissed as she walked into the turbolift and hoped that she wouldn't kill him. Today.

"It was a fun story!" Jon started, maybe it was a fun story for him, a fun memory that he didn't have to pretend to have laughed at. She'd actually forgotten the incident until Jon had started telling the story, then she had remembered every excrutiating detail.

Her problem wasn't even necessarily that he'd recited the story, because he had every right to tell any embarrassing story he could think of, and in most situations she'd probably laugh at them too. Today wasn't one of them, and all because of the situation she had found herself in."Maybe for you, for me it was just embarrassing, and they aren't our friends, they're engineers!" She almost shouted that as she stepped out of the lift onto D deck, where the tether to the spacedock still connected.

Jon obviously started thinking about it seriously this time, and then reached out and tugged her arm until she came to a stop. She was ready to give him hell for assuming she'd be fine, but instead the contrition in his visage told her to hold her tongue."I'm sorry. I was just reminded of it and I thought it would make you laugh."

She stopped and thought about it again, and now they were alone it did seem a lot funnier, and he brought up a mostly good memory. "Well, there were worse people I could have landed on. AG was always able to catch me when I do stupid things like that." She said, laughing loudly, remembering how AG had grumbled, then laughed at her for being light as a feather. "When I did." She finished, a little sadder, remembering that AG would never see her do the clumsy things.

Jon threaded his fingers through hers and smiled, clearly recognising her momentary sadness and trying to think of a thing to say to remind her they were laughing. "It was a long fall, right from the top of the prototype." He motioned a few metres above the top of their heads and made a falling motion, causing her to laugh again.

"It's one of the things that still causes me to cringe when I think about it." There were a lot of clumsy moments she'd had over the years that she cringed about when she thought about them now. It had been so many years and so many moments since most of them, not counting today's stumbling block.

"I don't see how it added to any embarrassment today, you fell out of your command chair." Jon said that with complete seriousness. She hadn't just fallen out of the seat, she'd fallen into a heap on the floor.

She was not going to let him act like it was all her fault. The chair hadn't been steady, and with the tilt and her feeling so tired she had slipped right out of it. "Because it was tilted! You should have sat in it, you would have fallen too."

"They'll probably end up replacing it anyway." Jon shrugged, and she had to admit he was possibly right. She had heard rumours that the chair they had begun fitting for _Columbia_ wasn't likely to be the one she launched with. Maybe that was why it had been tilted. Jon studied her a moment longer then gave her a cheeky grin. "You shouldn't be embarrassed, it was cute."

There was only one thing she could think of in response to that. "There are days when I really, really hate you Jonathan Archer."

Jon just burst out laughing and squeezed her hand again as they reached the airlock and made their way back across to the main part of the station. "I'm sure you're not the only one who says that."

Well, she would give him that. She actually knew plenty of people who said they hated him, and they said it at fairly regular intervals. There was one thing, she hoped, that kept her separate from most of them. "I'm probably the only one who's had sex with you who says that."

"I don't know, Rebecca's still alive." He reminded her, and while she was sure Rebecca hated Jon, she was pretty sure Rebecca hated her more. In Rebecca's mind it had been Erika's fault she and Jon hadn't worked out, and in retrospect she might have been right, she had slept with Jon while he'd been with Rebecca, but she didn't feel all that guilty about that fact.

"Oh, yeah. I like to forget about her. You know, she still works at that restaurant. Veronica and I walked past it last time she was home." They had been planning to meet Ruby, so they hadn't stayed to chat, or make passive aggressive comments to each other as they had every time they'd spoken in the last 14 years. "She still clearly hates me, I don't know why she gave Veronica the stink eye though."

"Probably because Veronica was with you. We broke up before Veronica joined the team." She was about to confirm that was why she'd been so confused by Rebecca's attitude when Jon continued talking, and reminded her of another important matter. "Have you confirmed with her for your XO?"

"I asked her, she said yes. Republic is due home tomorrow from Ron's last run." She missed her old ship some days, even if she loved her ship and the crew she was woefully late in starting. "I've recruited a few people from her. Well, two. Veronica and Chef."

"Veronica will be a good XO, she'll make a good CO one day too." Jon's confidence was definitely echoed by anyone who knew Veronica, she was going to be a great Captain one day, she just needed a little more training, and Erika was ready to help her with that.

"If I train her right she will." She smiled then thought about the ship they had just left behind, the ship that had been entrusted into her hands. She was so confused and sad sometimes, because somewhere in her mind that ship had already had a captain, and that captain had been AG Robinson. "It's still weird sometimes, thinking that _Columbia_'s my ship. For so long she was AG's ship."

Jon just nodded, and it was clear he understood her feeling there. She was pretty sure that all of Starfleet had thought of _Columbia_ as being AG's ship. "Maybe, but he'd be proud of you for taking it on for him. It'll be good, you'll see."

His optimism was a change. A welcome one, but still a change. "Well, isn't this a change from mister-cranky-purple-pants I had to deal with for the last few weeks."

"Why bring the purple pants into this. I will never live that down." Jon's annoyance at her mentioning the tight lycra pants he'd worn for a production of Pirates of Penzance once was still her favourite thing, and he was teasing her. So she just grinned at him until he continued talking. "I'm feeling better, the best I have in a long time. Being home changes things, helps you see things more clearly."

"Oh really?" She had to ask, given his penchant for dropping back into maudlin thoughts at the drop of the hat. Maybe it was being back in space that was giving him cause for cheer.

Or maybe it was something far more mundane and boring. "Plus between you and my mother I've been argued with enough for a lifetime so optimism seems more sensible."

She didn't buy that for a second. Jon loved to be argued with, and he loved to start arguments, and basically arguing was his favourite hobby that wasn't played in water. He would never be argued with enough. "You will never argue enough. You thrive on it. I know you Jonathan."

"You're right." He conceeded then looked at her again and motioned back to the docking port they'd just left. "Are you staying here tonight, or are you coming back to San Francisco?"

"I might stay here tonight. Start breaking my quarters in." They'd need breaking in too, and re-organising.

"Want to come on a tour of _Enterprise_. I should really check in on the upgrades, and I don't think you ever got a tour." She didn't think she had. Her first and only visit to Enterprise had come on the day tragedy had struck for her and she'd been pretty ill at the time, so she hadn't come again.

It still felt a little bit like bad luck, too. Not to mention _Columbia_ was the same. "She's virtually identical to _Columbia_, Jonathan."

"Come and see how much better you're going to have it there. Please?" It was the begging. It did her in. She couldn't say no.

"Fine, I'll come and see your ship." Erika was ready for a visit to Jon's ship. He was right, she hadn't seen _Enterprise_ since it had been completed, had actually only visited once, when she was little more than a spaceframe. She knew _Columbia_ like the back of her hand, so seeing the differences between _Columbia_ and _Enterprise_ was going to be exciting._**  
**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Just a little bit _more_ SassCaptains fluff.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

**_Monday, week 3_**

He had enjoyed his tour of _Columbia_ greatly, which was almost definitely the best part of this, because he'd managed to convince Erika to tour _Enterprise_. She had to have seen the ship before, he really didn't believe her when she said she hadn't. She'd been on the NX programme along with the rest of them. He knew that it had been the last year and the two of them had had a lot of issues privately, but he didn't think that would have interfered with her visiting the outcome of their decade of shared service. "So, this is what your ship looks like?" Erika's upward inflection made him stop and look at her, she looked serious.

He still couldn't wrap his head round it, why wouldn't she have visited before. "I swear you've seen _Enterprise_ before."

"No, I haven't, I told you. Not since it was nothing more than a spaceframe." That must have been 5 years earlier, considering _Enterprise_ had launched 3 years earlier, and the spaceframe visit had been long before he'd been promoted. Erika clearly realised he didn't remember, so prompted another memory. "You know, that day."

"Oh, yeah." A day he wasn't sure they'd ever forget, and not for the reason of visiting _Enterprise_. That was the day that had spelt the end for their first relationship, even if they hadn't officially ended things for a while. They day they'd lost the baby. But he was sure that she'd been at ceremonies following that. "I thought you were at the naming ceremony."

"I was on _Republic_ but I sent you a letter." That could have been what he was remembering. Though he'd held her letters for so long after they split up, he hadn't wanted to know if she was angry at him, or worse, that she was missing him. It was better to pretend they weren't speaking.

That did explain it, though, and he knew that _Republic_ hadn't made it back to Earth before _Enterprise_ had launched. The last time they'd been home and he'd spoken to Erika, the night before the Expanse, hadn't really been the appropriate time for him to take her for a tour either. "Right. Want to see engineering?"

"Really?" She asked, a tremor of uncertainty in her voice which worried him to the core. All of a sudden she was a junior commander, not a fellow Captain.

He was going to have to try and break that line of thinking out of her. It wouldn't end well for any of them. "Erika you're not some commander without clearance. You're the Captain of an almost identical ship." He argued, and at first she nodded, then she stopped again and looked at him seriously.

"_Columbia_ doesn't have her engine yet." She said, and all Jon could think was that that was a stupid reason not to see the engine room of an almost identical ship that she'd been involved in the development of.

She clearly felt like she didn't belong, but he knew better. She belonged here and anywhere else she wanted to go. That was the deal. "You're in the right place Erika, come on."

He tugged her through the hatch and into the engine room, which was bustling with half a dozen engineers and the clear signs of repair work. He was glad to see that the reactor was pulsing with its usual steady thrum, a sound he couldn't sleep without when shipboard now. Erika was clearly completely engrossed in looking around, and her hand had at some point slipped into his. Not that he minded. "It looks a lot smaller in here with the engine, and the engineers." She whispered almost reverentially.

"No engineers on _Columbia_?" He asked with a light tease, he had seen plenty of engineers, but he knew right now Engineering was not the place the engineers would be focusing on on _Columbia_. She was still weeks away from getting her own reactor installed.

"None of my own." Came her answer, still barely above a whisper, and he had to stop himself from laughing at her response. It was so traditionally Erika.

As for the engineers swarming all over this room, not one of them was on his staff, but he was glad to have them there nonetheless. _Enterprise_ needed some tender loving care after the last year. He felt a little guilty that he'd put his ship through so much trauma, but she was healing now under the care of these engineers. "None of these are my engineers either."

"Yeah but they at least look like they are comfortable here." He couldn't disagree there. Every single one of the engineers who were shouting instructions to one another looked completely at ease and were ignoring the two Captains. He'd noticed on _Columbia_ that they had been a spectacle. Probably because with a ship that was still being built, there was less need for the brass to be there.

That was just the point, _Columbia_ was the new ship. "She's a baby ship Erika, give her time. You'll get it sorted."

"_Enterprise_ is a lovely ship. I can't believe how much better she looks now than when you got back. I'm glad to know she stood up to all the challenge." Jon started leading Erika slowly back through the ship, not really thinking about where this slow walk might end. He wasn't sure he wanted them to go anywhere at all yet.

As for _Enterprise_ standing up to the challenge, she'd needed to. He'd had far too many plans for when he got home for her to have failed him in the end. At least that was what he was going to try and tell himself now. "We needed to get home, make sure you guys were safe."

"We are, were." He wasn't sure what Erika meant by her quick change of tense, or if she'd meant anything at all.

For the moment he just wanted to try and get exactly what she thought of his completed ship, especially now that her ship was on the way to being completed. He wouldn't be entirely surprised if she pointed out that her ship was slightly more advanced. "So, what do you think of _Enterprise_?"

He was glad to see that Erika paused for a moment. Hopefully she was thinking about a polite way to phrase any criticisms she might have. Why was he so nervous about what she'd think? Maybe because he'd teased her about _Columbia_? He did not have the appropriate amount of self control to deal with that. Not today, at least. After a few more minutes she slipped her arm through his and smiled. "She's beautiful, tried and trusted. I'd need more than half an hour to decide anything more than that." That was nice, fussy maybe, but nice.

"That's enough for me." It was only then he realised that she had stopped complaining about the 'embarrassing' story he'd told. He maintained the story had been more amusing and endearing than actually embarrassing, but given that he'd done it on her ship he could understand why she would have thought differently about it. "You've stopped giving me hell about the story on your bridge too?"

She elbowed him in the ribs and he let out a hiss of surprise. It definitely hadn't been an expected reaction from her. Probably much to his own folly. "I just decided that it might be best to ignore it, besides, I want to sleep soon, but I don't really want to sleep without you." Erika's shy smile as she said that made him even happier to have her there with him. She looked so sweet, and somehow he found himself realising more how he had needed this all along. "I've gotten too used to having you next to me."

"My place or yours?" He asked, both hoping and not hoping that she would pick _Enterprise_. He would have loved to help her break in her bed on _Columbia_, but at the same time the ship wasn't entirely habitable yet, and he liked knowing that he wouldn't wake up on the ceiling.

Erika seemed to be going through a similar mental process, which told him they were still more in sync than he would have liked to admit. "There isn't much power on _Columbia_ yet. Plus I can get a feel for sleeping on my ship by sleeping here, surely?" She asked, and while the question seemed rhetorical he couldn't help but give her an answer in a similar sarcastic tone.

"As we mentioned, the ships are nearly identical." He reasoned with a smirk.

Erika clearly agreed with him, and he couldn't help but be amused that she slipped her arm around him before she spoke. At least they were outside his quarters. "Excellent, so I can get a trial run."

"Come on in, we'll make sure you're nice and comfortable." He grinned, and pulled her through the door. The upside of him technically still being on leave was that he could show her around and not have to worry about being woken up in the middle of the night. There was something special about that, and he was glad he had someone to share it with. Erika would know how this felt before long, when she was out there being woken up at all hours of the night. For now he was going to enjoy these nights as he had them.


	14. Chapter 14

**Just a little bit _more_ SassCaptains fluff.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Wednesday, week 4:**_

Erika had been looking forward to an evening spent with her two best friends for days. She had been spending a lot of time either working or with Jonathan over the last few weeks, so their weekly evening in had been disrupted. This was the first Tuesday night they'd all been free. Veronica had finally completed the command course she'd been required to take, and Jon had taken Trip Tucker to inspect Enterprise and try to take his mind of whatever was bugging him. So while they were together they were in Ruby's apartment above the 602, and Ruby was already annoyed with them for waking the baby up. Twice. "You two really need to learn how to be quiet."

Well. Maybe Veronica did. She was the one who had shouted. "Two?"

Ruby turned with a nod and focused on Veronica. "OK. Veronica you really need to learn how to be quiet."

"That was mean." Veronica huffed and leant back in her chair as she did.

"I know, and I don't care." Erika gave Veronica a shit eating grin and then turned to Ruby with a more sincere smile. "How are you doing anyway?"

"I'm tired, being alone with a baby is difficult, but at least I have her with me." There was a lot of sadness in Ruby's answer, and really Erika should have known better. This time of year was of course going to be hard for her friend, even harder with the baby being alone this year.

Of course it was. But Andrea was one thing left that kept AG with them all. So no doubt the 7 month old was a comfort to her mother. "Yeah. I miss AG too."

"Me three." Veronica muttered and looked to the floor. "But hey tonight isn't meant to be a sad night. Tonight is supposed to be the night where we casually remind Erika that she has gotten back together with Jon."

"Whoa, whoa. What?" Ruby asked, clearly annoyed at being left out of this piece of the gossip. When Enterprise had first returned Ruby had been the one really pushing Erika to go after Jon, she couldn't be that surprised, surely?

"He's practically living at her place right now." Veronica chimed in, looking at Ruby and nodding. Erika tried to break that up.

"He is not. He's just there a lot." She defended. OK maybe he was basically living at her apartment while Jon's cousin took over his apartment. It didn't matter that was the cause, she still would say Jon wasn't almost living with her. He just slept over a lot.

"You two are sleeping together though, right?"

There was something that bothered Erika very much about that question. "What does it matter if we are?"

"You're Starfleet Captains, Erika. You really think it wouldn't matter?" Veronica pointed out for the ninth or tenth time. It wouldn't matter though, surely?

"I would think it would be none of Starfleet's business." That may have been a little harsh, but it was definitely the truth. What she and Jon did behind closed doors shouldn't matter to anyone at all. "Jon and I have a complicated history and I guess present and it shouldn't matter to Starfleet what we do. Besides, he's on leave."

"Wasn't his leave over on Monday?" Veronica asked, her face contorted into a hilarious expression as she clearly tried to add when Jon's leave had started.

She shook her head, knowing that while he was technically no longer on leave, they were both still mostly on Earth, and neither counted it as being over until he was back on Enterprise full time. "Technically. But Enterprise still isn't going to be leaving for a few weeks, and Columbia is still months from launch. Especially with the engine problem."

Ruby sat forward with interest. Erika had to remind herself that Ruby wasn't a member of Starfleet, yet for some reason they all forgot that. Ruby probably knew more Starfleet Secrets than half the Admiralty combined. "Engine problem?"

"Remember that night AG and Jon kicked the shit out of each other in the bar?" She couldn't think of another way to pinpoint the time they were talking about.

"While you were in New Mexico?" Ruby asked, and Erika only needed to nod. They probably should have been more concerned that they had had to double check which time the team had been fighting. Had they really done it that much back then?

"Yeah that time. The same engine instability is showing in the reactor we've built for Columbia, so it could already be delaying our launch. Hopefully not though." The engine trouble was by far the most annoying thing that she had had to deal with recently, especially since nobody seemed to be able to lock it down. She was certain they'd have it all fixed by the time they were due to launch. They still had 3 months.

"That was a bad time for everyone here, especially since I dealt with your team basically every night." There was a momentary look of concern that passed over Ruby's face, then she asked in an almost fearful tone. "Columbia's gonna fly though, right?"

"Don't worry Ruby, we're not going to let AG's ship fail." She reassured their friend. Ruby had been to tour Columbia a few weeks earlier, and Erika had shown her the crew lounge she'd had set up that had a photo of AG hanging in his honour.

Veronica nodded, and Erika was grateful for the agreement from her best friend. They were going to make sure Columbia was the best ship in the fleet, if only to honour AG's memory. "Plus Jon is probably going to need us to bail his butt out of jail on about half the planets we're involved with."

"It's only the Klingons who have a warrant out on him. So far as we know." She was sure it wouldn't be the only warrant served on a Starfleet officer, but it was certainly the only one she was bothered with. She didn't fancy visiting Jon on that frozen mining planet he'd told her about escaping from. Cold weather and visiting a prisoner would probably push her over the edge of her comfort level.

Veronica continued with her drink then let out a bark of laughter and looked back at Erika with a smirk. "You're involved with a felon."

"You've just given me a reason to marry him. My mother would not approve. Jon is happy. I'm happy. Isn't that what matters?" She looked at Veronica seriously, wishing that from time to time she would back off and let her work things out for herself. She had a lot to work out too, and Veronica's commentary on Jon's record was not as helpful as she maybe thought. "Besides, I'm pretty sure it's just a fling while we're on Earth, who has time for relationships?"

"I don't know. You and Jon suit each other in a way very few people ever will." Ruby mulled their status over in her mind, and Erika just smiled, glad to know her friend was thinking on their behalf. Ruby knew more about their relationship than almost anyone, so if she had advice Erika was going to listen, that was a foregone conclusion. "I think you should work your shit out and keep going. I can tell you want to."

"I do, but I'm also terrified. Not of being with him, but of being without him." Well, that was not what she'd expected to admit to. It wasn't exactly the most modern nor independent thought she'd ever expressed. "How pathetic is that?"

"Not at all pathetic. You love him." Ruby put the point in the minimalistic simple way she was loved for down in the bar. She just understood what Erika was trying to say and made it easy for her to admit to it, by actually just confirming the inference Ruby had drawn.

So she nodded, she did love Jon. She always had. "Yeah. I guess I do."

Veronica downed her drink and slapped her thighs before sitting forward with a sigh. "This was a bad topic to bring up considering I am forever alone." OK, so Veronica was permanently single. Maybe they were being a touch insensitive. Just a touch. "Can we go back to talking about how stupid Jon can be?"

"Sure." Erika laughed and shared a knowing look with Ruby. The two women both understood Veronica's position on love and relationships, but that didn't mean they didn't enjoy talking about things in her vicinity. A lot of the time it would make them both think of something that nobody but Veronica would ever think, and that helped. Really, Erika had to admit, Veronica's position made sense. If she never put herself out there she would never be hurt. That was the long and short of it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Erika's brother drags a promise out of Jon.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

**Thursday, week 4:**

Before any night out, or any meeting, that both he and Erika had attended she had always worried about his state of dress. Tonight they were going to a relatively upmarket restaurant a few hundred metres from Erika's apartment, and they were in full evening wear. Erika's Starfleet blue dress with a teal sash was not helping him concentrate on doing his tie properly, and he was getting more and more annoyed at Erika's fussing. "He's not going to care what I'm wearing, Rike."

She settled him with a glare, and he had to admit that he probably deserved it. "Yes he is, we're talking about my brother here Jonathan." OK, he definitely deserved it. Simon Hernandez was the opposite of his sister in so many ways, the most prominent of which being that he actually did care about appearances.

"I kind of hoped fatherhood would chill him out. How old is Carla now?" he should have known the answer to that, even with the amount of time since he'd last seen her. The Christmas after he and Erika had ended things, but they'd still been close enough that he'd accompanied her back to New Mexico.

Why was he blanking on Carla's age. Erika was just stood watching him work it out, but obviously eventually she took pity on him. Which was good news, he needed it. "7, and there is another baby too, Amelia. She's 2."

There was another Hernandez baby? He seemed to remember Veronica messaging him about that not long after the end of the NX-Programme, but nothing had been mentioned since. "How did I miss that?"

"You were 100 light years away and we weren't talking." That still wasn't too much of an answer, they had enough common friends. Then again, most of their common friends would not have known what was going on with Erika's family. He went to start trying to fix his tie again, but Erika just gently swatted at his hand. "Now are you going to let me fix your tie?"

"What else have you neglected to tell me about your family?" He asked in a teasing tone. While he was certain it wasn't malicious, he did want to know how her family were doing.

She shrugged then reached up and started adjusting the tie. Her eyes not really focusing on what she was doing. Muscle memory, how did the woman have muscle memory for tying a tie? That was something he was going to have to ask her at a later date. "I haven't neglected to tell you, it just hasn't come up. Simon and Maria have the two girls and my mother has a touch of Alzheimer's."

"You can have a touch of Alzheimer's?" He needed to ask for the clarification. He had always liked Lita Hernandez, even if she and Erika hadn't always seen eye to eye. It had been quite obvious that they had been too similar, and neither of them wanted to admit that.

"Shush, I'm living in denial." Well, that he couldn't blame her for, he was often in denial about his own mother's health, both their mothers' were beginning to suffer from the ailment known as old age. "Best behaviour tonight Jonathan. I want you two to get on this time." This time. They hadn't fought too much last time.

"Why?" OK, maybe he was fishing a little. Annoying Erika this early would only mean that she couldn't be too annoyed at him later on.

She had clearly cottoned on to this trick, because she just stared at him before answering. "Because he's running for city council back home and you're a respected Starfleet Captain and the tabloids would have a field day if the two of you were seen brawling."

"Fine." He huffed, already sure this wasn't going to go exactly as Erika had planned. "I will if he will."

"I've already threatened him too."

As the chime downstairs rang Jon just kept Erika's glare and smiled sarcastically. "That's the door." She then pointed in the direction of the recently repaired buzzer. He could tell he was beginning to push his luck.

"If he doesn't kill you I might, you're being extra-strength sarcastic today." She shot over her shoulder as she just hit the buzzer, she then waited and continued glaring at Jon until Simon actually walked through the door to her apartment. "Hey big brother."

"Hey kiddo." Simon wrapped his younger sister into a hug and smiled, then his eyes landed on Jon and he knew that his problems were only just beginning. "Jonathan."

"Simon. How's the family?" He nodded, dropping the question more as a courtesy than actually wanting an answer.

"None of yours." Simon snapped, and Jon was surprised for just a moment, then remembered how annoyed Simon had always been at people asking after his family with no prior warning or reason.

"Hey. Remember what I said." Erika glared between the two of them then smiled the smile of an evil mastermind. "I have naked pictures of both of you and I'm not afraid of bribing you."

"Rike you're evil. Truly evil." He teased, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

Simon laughed, this time genuinely, and seeming to open more up to Jon. Maybe he was mellowing. "She's always been like this." He pretended to confide, and Erika just looked offended.

"You tried to sell me!" She exclaimed loudly, and the two men just burst out laughing. There was far too much that Simon and Erika had done when young for him to ever know it all.

Simon, it seemed, was not dissuaded by Erika's annoyance. "Tried is the operative word. I've got the car." He motioned over his shoulder, but after a very short and silent debate Erika nodded, agreeing that they didn't need to drive it. He hoped at least.

Sure enough a second later she confirmed he'd won. "Leave it here, the restaurant is only a five minute walk away. Now be serious. How are Maria and the girls?" Erika's question was greeted with far less hostility, and Jon was happy to listen. At least in part.

"Great. Really great. Carla keeps asking when she can come visit." Simon laughed, and Erika seemed to slow down in thought, Jon having to pull her along gently to keep her moving.

"You should bring her along next time." Jon recognised the look growing on Erika's face, she had a plan. What plan, he didn't know. But she had a plan. "She'll love it here I'm absolutely sure, and Jon could probably take her on a tour around Enterprise."

"Oh yeah, she's been so proud of that. She took that photo album of her first year you made her in for show and tell and kept pointing out that Captain Archer was her godfather. She's been the Royalty of Recess ever since." Simon laughed, prompting both Erika and Jon to laugh. It was still strange for him to think that he was a rolemodel for these kids, but he was.

"I still have a few days leave, I could come down and visit her school. I'm sure I could convince a few members of my senior staff to come along too."

"Really, you'd do that?" Simon asked, clearly shocked. Then again, even Erika was looking at him as if he'd grown another head.

He hadn't grown another head, that wouldn't have been very attractive. He was instead defending why he'd do something for people he considered his family. "Yeah. I know you and I have never really seen eye to eye, Si, but I love your sister, and I have always considered your family an extension of my family."

"He's using big words now, Rike. You sure?" Simon asked his usual question, but this time with a genuine air of teasing her, rather than his usual dismissal of Jon. Maybe he had made headway.

Erika was thinking too, and maybe that was the end of it. They could both go. "I'll see if I can take a few days and come down too. It would be nice to see mom again."

"She's bad right now Erika, she still thinks dad's alive."

"So she still thinks I'm not talking to her. Fabulous." Jon remembered how much Erika had hated that time, they just hadn't seen eye to eye and Erika had taken that personally, not speaking to her mother for half a decade.

Simon at least understood how worrying that was for Erika to hear, and squeezed her shoulder."She'll come round again in time, she will. Focus on that. If you come down see her in the morning, that's when she's in the moment."

"OK. We'll both go to Forrest in the morning. Maybe he'll give us a day or two next week." Dinner had then passed rather uneventfully. He had mostly listened to Erika and Simon reminisce about their childhood and tell him wildly inappropriate stories. It didn't even matter that he had heard most of them before, he loved seeing Erika so happy and animated. They had walked home in practical silence, none of them having much to say, and Jon having entered into a begrudging possibly permanent truce with Simon didn't even have anything sarcastic to add.

After they said goodbye to Simon, Erika had followed him back up to her apartment and smirked. He knew already what she was going to comment on first. Of course she was. "You did something nice for my brother."

"I wasn't doing it for him. Carla was the first baby I ever held, remember." He had been so terrified when Maria had laid the bundle in his arms, and he'd been so grateful Erika had been beside him that day. He had looked at this baby and realised he was making an agreement to be in her life forever. He'd been a pretty poor godfather up until this point. "And as Si pointed out I am her godfather." He couldn't pass up that vow, even if he wasn't religious and never had been. He knew how important godparents could be after seeing Erika interacting with hers. He wanted to do right by Carla.

Erika smiled and leant her arms on his shoulders before stepping onto her tiptoes to kiss him lightly then pulled back a little to look at him again. "You're a good man, Jonathan Archer."

"I try." He smiled and wrapped his arms around Erika, pulling her flush to his front. When had this sort of domestic scene become commonplace for them again. He didn't know for certain, all he knew was that he had the perfect partner, and one day they'd make it official. Right now they still had stuff to work out.


	16. Chapter 16

**A fight happens. **

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Friday, week 4:**_

They had been in her office for half an hour, and right now she would be oh so very happy to have convinced Jon to stay at home this morning. They had celebrated the successful dinner with her brother, slept and come straight here. It was her first day of interviews for open crew positions on _Columbia_, and she had wanted to review the personnel files again. Jon however was being as annoying as a toddler, he was interested in absolutely everything in her office, including her schedule for the day. "So you have how many interviews today?"

She looked up at him and rolled her eyes before sitting back again. "8, two of them with your juniors, including the first one." She wasn't sorry that some of the junior officers from Enterprise were considering taking her up on her offer. They wouldn't get promotions on _Enterprise_, and _Columbia_ they probably would.

"Oh, who?" Jon asked, not sounding particularly worried either, barely even sounding that interested, he was too busy looking at the very ugly paintings that had been on the walls when she had first taken residency in these offices 5 months earlier.

As for which of his officers she was interviewing, she'd need to double check their names. Over the next few weeks she was going to be interviewing 25 junior officers from _Enterprise_. These were just the first two she actually wanted. "Stewart Rivers and Reiko Akagi?"

Jon nodded, then finally propped himself on the edge of her desk again. "Both good hires. I don't know what we'd do without Rivers. He was involved in something a few months ago though and I think him getting away from Malcolm Reed might be for the best." That sounded like a good story, but she wasn't going to ask right now. What could he have possibly done while they were in the Expanse that could require him to be moved off of the ship.

"I'll move him top of my list." She had already decided he was near the front, but this was a reason to upgrade him. "Akagi is already up there, I served with her sister on the _Republic_."

"Well, for what it's worth I'd be happy to sign either of them over to you." Jon's grin told her that he was already signing them over in his mind. Well. At least she'd be up from one to three in her list. It was good. "Knowing they're with a CO who'll make sure they eat and get plenty of walks." She burst out laughing at that, why was it even funny? The mental image of her taking crew out on leashes.

"They are highly trained officers, Jonathan, not Beagles." She still laughed, she couldn't help it. Even while scolding him she had to laugh.

He ended up pouting a little, and she already knew what was coming. A reference to an old joke and even older humour about commanding a ship full of dogs. "It would be fun if they were beagles."

"You need your head examining my love." She laughed again at the memory of the joke then looked at the chronometre on her desk. She really should be trying harder to kick him out of her office. She was fairly sure her oh-nine-hundred meeting would be waiting outside the door, and surely seeing his current CO exiting his prospective COs office was not going to be a big confidence boost. "Don't you have your own ship to be thinking about?"

Jon started kicking his legs like a toddler, and Erika was suddenly a little suspicious about his reason for being in here. "I have a meeting with Forrest in half an hour. I was just going to annoy you until then."

At that she just stood up and pulled him off her desk, determined he leave now and let her get on with her job. She was fairly sure it would only work if she gave him someone else to annoy. "Well, my first appointment will already be waiting, Veronica should be free down the hall. Don't you still owe her something?"

"Ooh, thanks for reminding me." He grinned again, and jumped a little with a grin. "My place or yours tonight?"

"Yours, Mr Bartlet is back and his snoring is unbearable. The man is not the vision of health." She shook her head. There was no chance she'd sleep after a month of him being out of the building.

"See you later. Be good." He leant down and kissed her gently before opening the door, not even attempting to wipe the lipstick off before he did. He was in quite the mood this morning, and she honestly had no idea why. She was stood in the doorway as he walked away.

"Tell that to your officers. I mean it." She shouted after him, a comment she was absolutely certain that it was extremely confusing to everyone sat in the corridor outside her office. She looked around a little until she saw the one who was the most confused and worried looking of the bunch and assumed that was who her meeting was with. "Hi, Rivers, right? Come in."

"You were having a meeting with Captain Archer?" He asked with a slightly squeak in his voice. She nodded and motioned for Rivers to precede her into her office and smiled.

"Just getting his recommendations off him. Take a seat and tell me more about yourself?" She lead off with the first question she always gave a prospective officer and smiled, realising how long today was going to be and how exhausted she was likely to be at the end of it.

Sure enough 10 hours later she was ready for her bed, fed up of hearing about the achievements and failures of junior officers who hadn't been in Starfleet as long as she'd been in the command ranks. It was long and tiring and now she wasn't sure if she was grumpy or just utterly emotionally exhausted. Was it possible for her to be both?

She was considering calling Jon's, seeing if he had any preference on where they ate tonight, when she recognised a very familiar and quite welcome scent enter her office. She didn't open her eyes at all, but she did turn her chair more in his direction. "You done?" He asked quietly, and she nodded, giving herself another minute before sitting forward and opening her eyes.

"For today, I expected you to have left hours ago?" She sighed a little, hoping that he hadn't stayed here and waited for her.

He shook his head and grinned. "Veronica and I were watching the STC trainees doing their exterior training drills."

"With popcorn and soda, no doubt?" She knew the two of them far too well. Far, far too well. They'd been doing the same for years now. She'd been once, really didn't find it all that much fun. If the seniors had been allowed to watch her when she was a trainee she probably would not be a Captain today, she'd have quit and done what her mother told her to do.

"And a bingo card of mistakes they make. I forgot how much fun it was hanging out with Veronica."

"Don't let her know that. She'll start expecting me to join her for that."

Jon rolled his eyes and laughed. She had always been expected to join that game. She tried not to join, it annoyed her far too much. "Well, you could always join the games your best friend and your boyfriend make up."

"Boyfriend? We're going with that. It makes you sound about 18. I think I prefer unwed life partner." She grinned and sat back staring at him.

Jon looked at her for a moment and frowned. "That's maybe a little more long term than I was going for."

Well that was confusing. Wasn't Jon the one who wanted them to be open, who wanted them to be together. She was talking to the same man who had told her he didn't think he could live without her. Right? How could he blow so hot and cold? "You're trying to convince me why we should be looking at something long-term then come out with that."

"You know what I mean Erika." He tried to reason, but her back had already been raised. She had ramped up to a full rant, and she didn't think he could head her off now. "You're the one who keeps saying you're not there yet."

Well. At least he'd gotten the message that she wasn't there yet. That she wasn't at that point in their renewed relationship. It had taken long enough. "I'm not. You want me to tell you something I'm not ready to say yet. No, you haven't pushed me or tried to convince me, but you're still just waiting for me to say it. We don't address it but what happened four years ago hurt me, Jon. It did, I can't deny it. My feelings for you didn't change then and they haven't changed now but I'm still not ready to say it." She loved him, she always had, and she had wanted to tell him hundreds of times since they had reunited almost 5 weeks earlier. Something in her psyche was stopping her, probably her sense of self preservation. She had fallen hard for Jon again, and she did still need some protection, if only from herself. "The truth is I do want us to be life partners, I do want to be with you for the rest of my life if it is at all possible, that hasn't changed in almost 14 years, but I am not ready."

"I understand that. But that is why I think maybe your term was more long-term than we're looking at. Because I can't think of myself that way, or of you that way, until I know for sure." He sat back, and she felt a little more than physical distance growing between them. "I love you Erika, I've loved you for almost 14 years and I know you're not ready to say it back, but I don't want to use a serious label until I know." His explanation was infuriating, and she wasn't sure why. It seemed like what he was saying was great. He loved her and she was never going to have to worry about being alone again, but at the same time he needed to hear her say she loved him too before he would use a label that had fitted them as long as they'd known each other. Was she being unreasonable, probably, but she was still angry.

"You know what, I think I'll deal with Mr. Bartlet's snoring, I don't want to speak to you tonight." She stood straight up from her chair and looked around her office for what was needed.

Jon stepped back as she stalked around the room, grabbing the various things she was going to need to continue her work when she got home. It was obvious Jon was trying to stay out of her way, but it didn't help her stop being annoyed at him. "Dammit Erika, that's not what I meant."

"No, if you're seriously that wrapped up in labels I'm not interest. Call me when you've pulled your head out of your ass." She gathered the last of her PADDs up and walked straight past him. She was furious, and the worst part was that she wasn't sure if she was furious at him or if she was furious at herself. He was being an asshole, and she felt like sometimes her indecision was making him indecisive, but she also knew that was her fault. Maybe a night apart would be good for them both.**  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**And... the idiots make up.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Friday, week 4:**_

There was still a lot of confusion in his mind about what had happened in Erika's office a few hours earlier, but after half an hour in his apartment he had known he didn't want to leave her angry at him for long. So he'd stocked up on some essentials of apologising and set off across town to her apartment. It was a familiar trek to her place, and he was glad to see that the light in her living room was on. He hit the buzzer for her place and wondered if she would even come down to him, or if she'd realise it was him and pretend she hadn't heard anything. He really hoped it wouldn't be the latter, he hadn't brought flowers for nothing.

He only had to wait a few minutes, then the familiar skipping gait of Erika coming down stairs was visible through the glass. He really needed to remind her to get the buzzer fixed. She opened the door to the building and stepped back, letting him pass her as she did. Maybe he wasn't being welcomed with open arms, but he hadn't been locked out either. She continued staring at him, and he just stood a little awkwardly until she spoke. "What are you doing here Jonathan?"

"I wanted to apologise for earlier." He got it right out, rather than trying to make a joke, as he normally did. If she was pissed at him, winding her up was not the way to go. A few years earlier he would have wound her up, then again, a few years earlier he wouldn't have come. He'd have waited until Monday. Back then he didn't have as much riding on them as he did now.

Erika however seemed more confused than relieved at his apology. "What are you apologising for?" She asked, a frown crossing her face as she did. He suddenly became aware that he didn't know what he was apologising for either, but he still was fairly sure it was something important. It had to be.

"In all honesty I'm not sure. But whatever it is I'm sorry." He handed her the flowers he still held and kissed her cheek before looking up the stairs in the direction of her actual apartment. "Can I come up?"

"They're beautiful, thank you Jonathan. Sure." She nodded a second later and started up the stairs, sniffing the flowers he'd brought. He couldn't resist stopping back a few steps and watching her, just for a second. Still unable to believe he was involved with her at all, she deserved better than him, always had. Almost the second he walked through her apartment door she turned to him with a serious attitude. "You shouldn't be the one apologising, I should be."

"You didn't do anything?" That was definitely confusing. What had Erika done? For the last few weeks she'd been the only person who had made him feel normal. He was getting more used to how everyone else treated him, but Erika still just treated him as Jonathan, the man she'd known for almost a decade and a half. She had nothing to apologise for in his mind.

Erika, clearly, disagreed entirely. "I did. I went all psycho crazy on you when you didn't deserve it. I'm the one who has been giving a billion mixed signals." Well, he couldn't disagree there. He knew she wanted them to be together, just as he did, but he also knew that she had been hurt far more than he had been. They both needed to be sure they were doing the right thing and risking their careers for a good reason. He had just decided a lot faster than Erika had.

At least he had that to tell her, and to try and show that he didn't blame her for taking her time. She was right, she really should be asking more questions. They needed that degree of level-headedness. "I'm not sure that's necessarily a bad thing. You want to be sure we're doing the right thing."

"I'm not sure that's what it is." She said, and dropped to the sofa, he walked over too, but didn't sit down, feeling like Erika needed a little bit of space for the moment, at least until she got her problem out in the open. "I feel more like I want to simultaneously be with you and forget the last four years but in a horrible way I also want to punish you for the last four years so I'm being an asshole and you don't deserve it." The whole thing came out in one go, and didn't give Jon time to stop it.

"The last four years weren't easy for me either, Rike." He commented, and now he did sit down, putting a hand on her shoulder as he did. He had hated the last 4 years, but they were going to be easier now. "I had a pretty bad time."

She nodded, and he felt a little bad for reminding her of all that she saved him from again. She had been there, she knew. But their break-up had all been on him, so it was only fair she be the one hurt by it. "I know. You've had a harder time of it than me, even. But I still wanted to punish you, but I don't want to punish you, or me."

"We'll work it out. You know we will." That was all he could think to say to that. They had always worked through their problems and differences in the past. It was great for them both, and this time they had an added reason for doing it. It would make them happy.

"Yeah." She mumbled then sat back against the back of the sofa, clearly not really feeling all that bolstered by his attempt at a pep talk.

There were other matters he could direct her attention to. An idea he'd been rolling around since they'd left her brother the night before. He had made the promise for Carla now, so he needed to plan it. Erika was almost certainly going to be better at that, she had planned all the events for the NX Programme. "I need your help too. I want to plan to do some things in New Mexico, take a few of my senior staff had been down there."

"What are you planning?" She was guarded, but he could already tell she was going to help him. She was. That made him happy. He could tell by the fact she was still listening. Erika was the most media-savvy Starfleet Captain, and he knew that including his senior staff meant he was planning something huge.

He did have a pretty big idea, but he wasn't sure it was entirely feasible. At least not in the time they had. _Enterprise_ was going to be ready in less than 3 weeks. They'd have to do it before the ship was ready to launch. "Well, if you bring Veronica down lets do a town hall meeting, maybe a talk at your old high school. What do you think?"

He held his breath while she thought, and he was worried he might asphyxiate if he continued, or if Erika took a while to make a decision. Thankfully, it didn't take long at all, and the whole time she spoke she had a thoughtful smile on her face. "I'm sure it could be done. I can call the principle on Monday and float his opinion. Maybe try and make it state-wide, include the media too." That wasn't exactly what he'd thought, but if she could organise that he would go for it.

"Are you sure you can organise it?" He had to be sure, and for that she had to be sure. He knew Erika though, and she wouldn't suggest something she couldn't organise. That would be against her own work ethic.

She stopped and thought, then leant against him, letting him wrap his arm around her for the first time since they'd come up. That was the first physical sign that all was well with them. The fact she was thinking of ways to do this cheered him up even further. "It'll take me all of a few days. Set it for the end of next week. You'll need to visit Carla's school too." She said finally, a few minutes later. He'd do Carla's school alone. It would be healthier for his staff.

"Erika Amaralis Hernandez you are a genius." He had said that statement probably a hundred times or more over the years, but that didn't make it any less true, and it didn't stop him giving her that praise when it was presented to him.

He could sense Erika's smirk without looking at her when she started speaking. "Well, Jonathan Beckett Archer, thank you. But I thought we agreed we were not going to use each others' middle names anymore."

"But you have such a pretty name, Rike." He exaggerated his politeness, and it got the desired outcome, a hearty laugh and a gentle slap on his knee.

"Keep grovelling, lover boy. I might forgive you."

He pulled out a large tub of Erika's favourite ice-cream. His secret weapon in case his turning up on her doorstep and apologising hadn't worked. It was always a good idea to keep the ice cream on hand. "I have banana ice-cream. Am I forgiven now?" He asked again, a smirk on his face as Erika sat up a little and looked between him and the ice-cream.

"For everything you've ever done." She grinned and cuddled closer to him, allowing him to wrap his arms around her while opening the tub and pulling two spoons out of his pocket where he'd hidden them earlier. He handed her the spoon and started listening to her reel off a list of things she could help to organise if they were going to try and put on a press event in her home town. It seemed the least he could do, and he could keep his word to Simon at the same time. Also being forgiven definitely made him feel more charitable.


	18. Chapter 18

**Erika, plans, and Tatum, New Mexico.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Monday, week 4:**_

For the entire weekend she'd been planning in detail exactly what she and the others could be doing. It would depend on several people saying yes, but she was sure they would. This was a huge thing for all of them, because it would let them put something good for Starfleet in front of the media. That was desperately needed, they all had to agree with that. She was starting with that now.

Right this moment she was looking at the emblem for her alma mater. It was still strange to know that her high school was named after the man who was spending most nights in her bed. When she'd first told him, Jon had been annoyed, now he found it absolutely hilarious and loved to tease her with that, especially when they were both trying to annoy each other. She was still thinking about that when a face came on the other end of her screen. "Erika, it's been a long time!" Principal Toby Lyman, who had only been a maths teacher when she'd been a student at the school. He'd known her since she was fourteen years old, and could probably remember every detention she'd ever had.

She had to admit, he was right. She hadn't checked in with the school more often, but she'd been too busy with her career and her studies. Sitting here right now she felt like she was fourteen again, not a thirty-eight year old Starfleet Captain. "Hi sir, it has, but I have a proposition for you that I don't think you would want to turn down." She really needed to sell it as something he needed, maybe then it would be harder to say no.

He was clearly intrigued, but maybe a little suspicious. That wasn't all that surprising, considering it was coming from a former student. "What's that?"

She thought for a second how best to word this request, then realised it was going to be a big ask no matter how she framed it. "As you may have seen in the news, I'm pretty close to Captain Archer of _Enterprise_." Her former teacher smiled coyly and nodded, wow, the rumour mill even made it all the way down here. Either that or Simon had started flat out telling people they were dating again. "He's planning to bring some staff down to Tatum at the end of the week, and we were wondering if we could maybe host an assembly at your school."

"We?" He asked, clearly not sure what she meant by 'we', and she replayed her last sentence over in her mind and saw why he thought that. She would make it clear who she thought could be there. She had plenty of time to confirm for certain who would and wouldn't be there. Other than herself and Jonathan she'd refrain from naming names.

"Myself, Captain Archer and his crew, possibly a member or two of my crew." There, that was a good explanation, and accurate to what she knew. Veronica had expressed an interest in going when she'd explained why she wanted the call put through to her old high school then Erika had ordered her away.

Mr. Lyman looked at her seriously and this time broke into a large and proud smile. Apparently news of her possible relationship status had made it home, but not the news that she had been named Captain of _Columbia_. At least to her old school. "You have a crew, Erika?"

"Yes sir, I do. I'm the Captain of the second NX class ship, _Columbia_. The sister ship to _Enterprise_." She couldn't help but smile herself now. There was something about being able to tell someone from home that she had her ship, and know neither her mother not her brother had told them first.

"I have missed a lot of the news lately, well done, Captain Hernandez. Everyone here must be so proud." She felt that her own ship might end up being marginally more famous in Tatum, New Mexico than _Enterprise_, despite the high school being named for _Enterprise_'s captain. Erika could definitely live with that. Maybe she'd get the elementary school. "When would you be hoping to do this?"

"Well, we're all going to be in Tatum from Thursday night onwards, so Friday or Monday would be best. We'll be streaming the assembly to many other schools, we hope." She wanted to make this a press event, and something that would not only benefit her little school, but all the others in her local area. Starfleet's press and media offices were helping her, but they had all agreed she was in charge.

Mr. Lyman went back to studying her again, and once more she was transported back to high school. There was something about that stare that teachers had that would keep even the rowdiest child in their place. "Why are you doing it at my school?" It was a good and perfectly valid question that she didn't have a pre-scripted answer for.

"Because it's my school too." That was the main reason why they were going to do it there. The other being that Jon owed her favours and the final one being that she still had school pride and hated the majority of high schools in that part of New Mexico. "Captain Archer owes me a few favours, and so your school was the first and really the only choice."

Finally, the smile turned agreeable, and Erika knew beyond all manner of doubt that he was going to agree. That was the win. Jon had better convince his crew now. They were the crew that had saved Earth, people would want to hear about that. "You'll be in contact to organise it?"

This one, she had already talked her brother into. She was letting his company sponsor the event if he helped her organise it. Nobody could say that she wasn't a helpful baby sister from time to time. "Simon will be doing a lot on the ground, but if you agree to a Friday afternoon address I'll be there on Wednesday night and will come in to stage manage on Thursday." That had been her agreement with both Simon and Jonathan when she'd agreed to help with this. She would stage manage. She'd done it probably hundreds of times over the years on the NX programme, she could do it again now. Friday morning had been spoken for by Carla's elementary school, which was the main reason they would be there the whole weekend.

"Then Friday it shall be." Mr Lyman seemed more excited about it now there had been a date selected. He would need to, no doubt, put in a lot more planning on his end that she wouldn't see until Thursday, but it was definitely all worth it. "I'll see you on Thursday Erika, make sure Simon organises this."

"I will. Thank you sir." She smiled, just grateful that he'd said yes without her even having to give anything away, which had been her absolute worry.

Lyman looked at her again with the same proud smile and shook his head. "At your age, Erika, you can call me Toby."

"No offence sir, but I've been trained not to use names of people I respect." That wasn't exactly it, she'd feel awkward calling him Toby, when she thought of him still as her maths teacher.

He seemed to accept her answer though, and she was very glad about it now. "So be it. Until Thursday, Captain."

"Did he say yes?" Was shouted through the door after only a few seconds of silence. Erika stood up and walked over, unlocking the door and stepping back, trying not to laugh as Veronica Fletcher literally fell through the now open doorway.

She walked back to her desk and sat down as Veronica pulled herself up. There had been no chance Erika was going to help her after discovering her eavesdropping. "Were you just waiting outside the door for me to finish?"

"No, I was trying to climb into your office at one point, but 3 storeys is higher than I expected." All of a sudden Erika remembered why Veronica had fit in so well to the pilots of the NX Programme. Remembering the stupid things many of the officers had done.

It also reminded her that many of the officers had been complete idiots. Almost killing themselves in the process. "You're an idiot. If anyone was trying to climb into my office I would have expected it to be Jonathan." He was surely the biggest idiot.

"Forrest has him chained to a desk while they go over the things he's not allowed to do again." Veronica's comment reminded Erika of something else the NX Programme had done, broken the rules on far too many occasions. There was really no shock or surprise anymore that after a year in the Expanse Forrest was sitting Jon down and reminding him of the laws of Starfleet.

"That'd be a fun meeting. Shoot. I have a meeting on Friday."

"With who?"

"Gardner, Roberts and Black about the engineering staffing issue." She hated that finding qualified and experienced engineers was this hard only 4 years after the end of the Programme, so speaking to the admiralty about the problem was needed. Or really, sitting in a room while the admirals spoke was needed.

"I'll take that." Veronica said, and Erika just narrowed her eyes in question. "Starfleet needs good press, and you two planned something that would definitely cover that. If you can pull it off they should give you both a medal. There will be interest outside of New Mexico you know?"

She did know, but she also knew that the kids in an underprivileged town needed the advice far more than people in many of the neighbouring towns. Erika had been lucky her father had had an office in one of the closest cities, otherwise leaving Tatum at all would have been impossible. "That's why we'll invite the press, but the kids in my working-class home town will be the first ones with questions and the ones needing inspiration on how to get out of Tatum. It would have been nice if I'd had that advice when I was trying to leave."

"Now you're a Starfleet Captain about to head up the second exploratory ship, sleeping with the captain of the first exploratory ship." Veronica smirked, and Erika reached for something on her desk to throw then sat back, remembering her own last meeting with Forrest which had mostly consisted of a list of things she wasn't allowed to do anymore. Throwing things had been every third point.

Instead she thought asking when Veronica would stop focusing on her relationship status. "When will you get off that?"

"I'll get off it when you get off it."

Damn. How had she not seen that reply coming. She couldn't laugh, and needed to keep both a stern face and a stern voice with her next comment. "I will kill you." She managed it then waved. "Go staff something and pretend you actually do the job Starfleet is paying you for."

"Do I have to?" Veronica asked with a moan. While they all pretended Veronica didn't do her job, everyone knew she was actually one of the best officers around.

"Yes. I did say pretend."

"Oh. I missed that. Pretend it is. See you in the morning. Want me to try and liberate your boyfriend?"

How was the easiest way to know if Jon needed liberating? The possibility of him being fed up and stabbing whoever he was in a meeting with. If Veronica was going into his meeting there was a strong possibility that it would end badly. "Only if he looks like he's going to stab someone."

"Roger that." Veronica saluted, and Erika had to restrain herself from throwing a PADD at Veronica's head. She managed, just about. It was hard.

"Get out!" She shouted with a laugh. There was a possibility that Starfleet Command might not survive if Jon and Veronica were left alone trying to escape a meeting. Actually, she'd seen Jon and Veronica try to escape meetings, along with AG, Sam and Rob. These were the moments she realised exactly how they'd survived the NX Programme, and that was purely because she hadn't wanted them all to die. Maybe she'd go and try to end Jon's meeting now, before he and Veronica had the chance to kill everyone and burn down Starfleet Command.


	19. Chapter 19

**Erika, plans, and Tatum, New Mexico.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Tuesday, week 5:**_

This meeting was not going as well as he'd hoped. Erika had managed to arrange the majority of a weekend of events in less than 48 hours. He just needed to get most of his crew to agree to go with them. No matter what he was sure that nobody wanted to talk to two Captains. One of them who they see all the time. So therefore his crew were needed. He didn't expect all of them to agree to go, maybe three of them. Judging on how Phlox had been recently Jon doubted he'd be joining them. Plus he had heard that one of Phlox's wives was due to speak at a conference. "Who's idea was this?" Malcolm was the third one to ask.

"It was mine." He admitted, if his crew were going to be grumpy about this he was going to keep hammering away that it was his idea. Maybe loyalty would help convince them to come along with him.

"I am, unfortunately, unable to come captain." Phlox confirmed what Jon had thought, he wasn't going to be coming. Phlox, as usual, didn't leave it at the basics. He gave a reason, just as he always did. "My third wife is due on Earth on Thursday and I have not seen her in many years." Third wife. He hadn't met that one. Jon was pretty sure it was his second wife he'd met.

Jon just nodded, letting Phlox know that is was fine. "Alright doc, so, you four are all I have left." He rounded on the Starfleet crew. Turning slightly away from Phlox but not ignoring the doctor either. If Phlox changed his mind he might as well know what was going on. "Technically you're all on duty so you can't claim to be going off anywhere with anyone."

All four of the officers seemed to be thinking it over, which was good. They needed to think about it. "So basically we don't have a choice?" Hoshi commented, and Jon was very, very glad that she had caught on very quickly. He knew she would have done.

Her catching on only helped him. He could be as commanding and sure as ever, and not actually have to tell them he was ordering them. "No, not really."

Trip was the one who took the most annoyance at that, and somewhat unsurprisingly he was the one who realised where they were going wasn't high on the list of places. "You could have said that when you sat us down. Why are we going to New Mexico?" That was a killer question, and it was phrased well.

But, Jon still decided to try and play it coy. Maybe he wouldn't have to tell them about the fact that he was mostly going to see Carla after the promise he'd made to Simon. "I have a personal obligation there, and I also owe a favour." He didn't phrase that at all well, they were definitely going to ask now.

Malcolm was the first one to ask. "Who?"

"For which part?" Jon needed to know. If he could avoid mentioning Carla he would. He didn't really want to politicise her, but it was basically going to happen. Should he let it go. They were going to meet her in two days anyway.

Once again, his crew were thinking, and they were thinking seriously. Which was a very good thing. Travis was the first one to speak, and it was obvious that he had caught on to something. What Jon didn't know for sure, but he was glad to know his pilot was listening. "Both?"

"The personal obligation is my niece, the favour is to Captain Hernandez." He owed Erika so much more than this one favour. But this was the one that mattered right now. His niece was the important reason he was going.

Trip was the first one to notice the erroneous comment about his niece, even though they all knew he was an only child. "How do you have a niece you're an only…" Trip started, but trailed off after a second as it dawned on him. Jon and Erika had known each other for close to 14 years, and there was almost certainly a reason he would call her niece as his niece too. At least he'd figured out it was Erika. "She's Captain Hernandez's niece."

At least he could explain that now. "She's my niece too, she was born back when I was a Commander on the NX programme." He did love Carla too. She had been a very clever girl, and he couldn't really wait to see how much she had grown in the last few years. "I saw Erika's brother the other day and he asked me to come visit and talk to her class. Since I was going down there and Starfleet needs some good press I thought taking all of you with me would be oh so wonderfully helpful." He didn't even try to hide the sarcasm at the end of that comment.

Hoshi, clearly, had something else in her mind. That much was obvious, and she knew exactly that there was something going on with the favour. "So what's the favour to Captain Hernandez?"

"We're going to be doing it at her old high school. She's still got a lot of loyalty to her home town." He couldn't help but smile at that, it was a bit of an understatement. Erika could bitch about her town, but nobody else was allowed to, or she would give them hell.

Trip was the next one to comment, and it was so classically Trip Jon had to bite his thumb to stop himself from laughing. "I'd do this for my nephews." He commented, and Jon continued biting his thumb.

Thankfully, Malcolm caught it as well, meaning Jon didn't have to say anything. "We did do this for your nephew Trip, Phil's eldest?" That had been one of the funniest days of their early mission. Jon still only needed to say 'poop' to Trip to make him laugh, or blush. Depending on the day.

"Oh yeah, I remember. Alright then, I'm in." That was one of them, at least it wasn't just going to be him and Erika. Trip now joined Jon in looking expectantly at the others sat around the table.

After another few seconds Travis spoke with a smirk. "I'm in too, I've never been to New Mexico." After another second he elbowed Malcolm who sat up straight and looked slightly annoyed. "Malcolm's coming too."

Malcolm clearly didn't enjoy the fact that he'd been signed up without his choice. "I could have agreed myself you know."

That left them all looking at Hoshi, and she was quite clearly enjoying keeping them all waiting. "I guess I'm the last one to agree. It'll give me a chance to speak to Captain Hernandez." He'd got them all, though knowing that Hoshi's decision was largely based on getting to talk to Erika didn't help his confidence.

"She might bring some of her crew down." He thought, but considering that Erika didn't have much of a crew and everyone at the table knew that it was probably not a great thing to say.

"She doesn't have a crew yet. She has junior officers and she has Veronica- wait Veronica's coming?" Trip sounded so excited by that news.

"Probably. That sounds like excitement, Trip."

"She owes me money. What will we actually be doing?"

"I'm doing the elementary school, you guys don't need to come for that." That was when he was going to stay away and deal with Carla and her class. "We're doing an interactive assembly at the high school, they are both on Friday, and then we're going to hold a Town Hall Q&A on Saturday."

"All in Captain Hernandez's home town?" Malcolm asked, with a little hint of a smirk.

There was something about that that bothered him, but he was sure that Erika's town would be plenty able to host them well. "Yes. It'll be fun. Dismissed."

"You have an awful idea of fun." Trip muttered over his shoulder as they left the briefing room aboard Enterprise, Phlox being the first out the door. He would be able to tell Erika that all four of his Starfleet staff would be joining them in New Mexico. He was looking forward to spending time with Erika's family. Besides loving Erika with all his heart, he genuinely liked her friends and family there, and he was sure that in among the nights and meetings he'd hopefully be able to reconnect with the friends he'd made there through being with Erika for so many years. It was going to be a good weekend.


	20. Chapter 20

**Simon, Erika, and Jon's biggest fan. Also, with this, we're halfway through.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Thursday, week 5:**_

Erika had made sure that the room was sorted and ready to go, and they were all set up for the following afternoon. She knew that Jonathan was worried about how this was happening and whether or not she'd managed to pull it off. She was proud to say, looking over this room, she had. It was a team effort including her former maths teacher and her brother. She had figured a lot of it out herself from almost 1400 miles away. "Well done Rike, you got this all together in a week." Simon muttered, then nudged her gently. They both watched as Carla ran around the room, double checking everything the way only a seven year old could.

While it was coming together, she was nervous. Largely she was nervous for Jonathan, not so much for herself. Though she wasn't too impressed about doing it herself too. "Don't remind me, I'm actually dreading tomorrow."

Simon nudged her again then wrapped his arm around her shoulder as only a big brother could. "It'll be great." While she was sure it would be, it was definitely nice to get his support. "Toby seemed glad to see you." He continued, a topic of conversation he'd been pushing for two days, about how if she ever left Starfleet she'd have a job in Tatum. Not what she'd really want.

The one downside of coming home was that her mother hadn't been particularly happy to see her. Possibly because Lita Hernandez had never really wanted to admit her daughter was going to be pushing the boundaries of the final frontier. "Happier than mom anyway. Has she been like this for a while?" She needed to know if it was her, or if it was something in general that was annoying her mother. Maybe the medication wasn't working as well as it had been.

Simon didn't seem to be as concerned as she was. "The last couple of weeks." He shrugged, and Erika realised it actually was her. For some reason she could deal with it right now, she'd take the heat for right now. "Mom's just been grumpy. Carla, come away." He waved his daughter away from the table, Erika saw the grin on Carla's face though, and she knew her niece was going to try.

"Yes daddy." Butter wouldn't melt. Eventually Erika was going to make sure that Carla knew the best ways to convince Simon to do anything. Exactly how she'd done it to their father when she was a child. Simon took after Albert in too many ways.

"You remind me of dad sometimes." She smiled then gave him a squeeze. After standing up here she wanted to see the room from behind the table, so she walked up and heard Simon following her. "This room looks great though, how many seated in here?"

"The whole school. Freshmen right through to Seniors. About 1000 kids. Nearly 500,000 on the streams. Not counting anyone out of state who picks it up in the morning. It's going to be huge." Well. That helped her feel less nervous about it. Not. "We have preplanned questions too, 20 of them to fill the 2 hours. There are a few for you." That was news, there were questions for her. She had expected she might get a few cast off ones from Jonathan, but some specifically addressed to her. She hadn't expected it.

So she had to ask. "People are actually interested in _Columbia_?"

"These kids are more interested in how a kid from Tatum became a Starfleet Captain." That made more sense, and she was really glad that she could be a rolemodel for these kids. The kids who were growing up exactly as she had done. Maybe there was a future Captain who was going to be listening to her and her colleagues speak, and they would sign up to Starfleet because of them. That was exciting. "I managed to convince Toby not to comment on how you convinced Jonathan to do it." She had had nothing to do with convincing Jonathan to do this, nothing at all. It all laid on the shoulders of another Hernandez woman, this one probably not even able to spell her name properly yet.

"Well that's helpful, but really a seven year old convinced Jonathan to do it. Specifically that seven year old." She pointed to Carla, who clearly noticed that she was being spoken about and turned round with a wave.

"She's convincing. I'm well aware of this." Simon laughed, and maybe Carla had figured out Erika's secrets all on her own. Simon was clearly still thinking about something, and after a minute he looked at her seriously. "Are you and he actually back together?"

"Sort of. I'm the one holding things up before you go off on him." She knew that he would go off on Jonathan if she didn't tell him exactly the situation. Jonathan was not the one causing problems, nor was he the one pushing things backwards. That was all on her, and Jon didn't deserve a lecture from her brother when it was something he wanted too. "He wants me back, I just want to be sure we're doing the right thing."

Simon maybe understood more than she gave him credit for. Sometimes she wrote him off far too quickly, given that he had never served in Starfleet or the military, nobody in her family had before her. He had a knowing smile though, and she knew he had an idea. "If you'd be happy, you'd be happy. That's the important thing isn't it?"

"We have careers, Simon, that matters too." She had been trying to figure out how much that mattered, but it still wasn't occurring to her completely.

"Yeah, I guess. Are you coming to mom's, bring Jonathan?" Simon wasn't really giving her the choice. She was going to be visiting her mother that evening, and she was going to be bringing Jonathan. That could be fun, though her mother had preferred Jon to her on occasion over their last few years.

She looked at her watched and finally realised the time. "Yep, shoot. Speaking of Jonathan I promised I'd go meet him at the hotel."

"Aunty Rike can I come?"

She motioned to Simon and shook her head, certain she didn't want to take Carla with her unless she needed to. "You're supposed to go home with your daddy."

"But you're gonna see Uncle Jon." Carla shouted in a high pitched voice, and Erika had to refrain from plugging her ears.

Erika shook her head, already worried that possibly Jon had been built up in Carla's mind in a way that maybe couldn't be lived up to. "You haven't seen him in a long time Kiddo."

"But I want to. Please daddy, can I go?" Carla turned her attention to her father, and Erika knew if Simon said yes, she would have no real choice in taking Carla with her. Not that it would be a big problem either way, really.

"OK fine, you can take her. She won't leave us alone if you don't." Well, Carla was making that abundantly clear herself. "She's definitely got your stubbornness." Simon's grin reminded Erika exactly why the two of them had ended up close as they'd grown up. She'd hated him once upon a time, now he was basically her best friend, the only friend she had outside of Starfleet. If he thought his daughter had inherited stubbornness from her it was a compliment, and he was also probably right.

"Right. Fine Kiddo. Come on or we'll be late. We'll meet you at mom's later." She held her hand out to Carla and shook her head. There was something about her nieces' devotion to Jon that was sweet, and truly reminded her a lot of how most people on Earth felt about him. He was the only one who couldn't see that. By the end of this weekend though, the chances were that he would see it.


	21. Chapter 21

**Carla Hernandez meets the crew of the NX01.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Thursday, week 5:**_

He had been out of the shuttle at the hotel for all of thirty seconds when he'd spotted a couple of familiar figures. Erika had come the night before to make sure all the preparations were complete here for what they had planned to do over the next few days. Jon had agreed to come with his crew, giving Erika a night with her family, something she clearly didn't get to experience so often. He was just getting used to the dry heat as he heard a shout then saw a small flurry of limbs launch themselves at him, and the heavy weight of his and Erika's seven year old niece jumped into his arms. "Uncle Jon!"

"Hey kiddo." He grinned and hugged her tightly. Still a little amazed that Carla remembered him at all. He hadn't seen her since she was four, but then again he guessed with the amount of pictures there was of him with her and their family, and how much he was in the news, it maybe wasn't so surprising.

Erika caught up to them and looked a little apologetic. He wasn't sure why, while he had been expecting a welcome from the Hernandez clan, he had to admit Carla's welcome hadn't been exactly what he'd been expecting. "She wouldn't let me leave the school without bringing her."

"It's been a long time since I've seen you." Carla said, wrapping her arms around Jon's neck and smiling. He wasn't going to put her down for a while now was he. She had been like this when she'd been a toddler, he hadn't expected it to carry on.

"Yeah. I've been busy on my spaceship." That was probably the best way to explain it to a child. He certainly didn't need to go into details with a child who was likely completely untouched by the recent tragedies on Earth. From what he remembered, until Erika nobody in her family had left Tatum since the last war. "Have you been behaving?" That was a killer question to a seven year old, and one he was sure she would lie about, like any child her age.

"Yep! Did you bring me a present?" She asked, not at all shy about asking it.

The truth was, he had. He had even found something in his apartment to bring for the baby he was yet to meet. Feeling it wouldn't be fair to bring something for Carla and not for her sister. "Maybe. How about you go help your aunt Erika with the bags?"

"Nope." Carla replied, and Jon shot his own apologetic look at Erika. He had tried, but she just seemed completely amused by the whole situation.

Erika pushed his back a moment later, and he realised that at least two members of his crew were looking at him as he stood there. "OK then, want to meet my crew?" He asked, figuring that he might as well take his new appendage with him.

"Can I?" Carla seemed a little shocked and surprised by that prospect. She was old enough now to know what a crew was, and had no doubt heard Erika complaining about having her own crew for a while now.

"Sure." He walked over and stopped beside Trip and Hoshi, before shifting Carla just a little more securely and safely onto his hip. "This is Trip and this is Hoshi, and that's Travis and Malcolm over there." He pointed to the front desk, and he really didn't want to know what the pilot and the tactician were trying to do. No answer to that question was going to please him, he was sure of that.

Carla seemed to be moving the name 'Malcolm' in her mouth, and when he spotted her scowl he was struck again by how much Carla looked like her aunt. "I don't know if I can say that name."

"Why don't you go and ask him how to say his name." He whispered in her ear then put her down, smiling as she ran in the direction of the Brit, then called after her thinking of something she should make sure she say. "Make sure you say you're Captain Archer's niece."

Hoshi and Trip had clearly been following the progress too, and Hoshi smiled at him as Carla tugged on Malcolm's sleeve. "That little girl idolises you." Hoshi commented. Looking after Carla.

"Apparently." He laughed and looked back it the two of them. Trip looked uncomfortable and Hoshi looked happy. "I haven't seen her in a long time, but I wrote her some letters after we launched."

"It's nice to see you've got such a good family." Hoshi continued, and he agreed, they were a great family. Jon loved that he'd been semi-adopted by the Hernandez's, but they weren't technically his family. They were Erika's.

"They're Erika's family, I've just known them a long time now." How long had it been since he'd first been out here, 11 or 12 years. "We're only here a few days, thanks for agreeing to come too."

"Is Commander Fletcher coming as well?" Trip asked after a few minutes of silence, and the sound drifting to them of Carla hassling Malcolm. Jon had never clarified if Veronica was coming. He hadn't known himself at first.

Veronica Fletcher would be joining them for the town hall meeting they had planned on Saturday. But she was going to miss the school. "She was taking a few meetings for Erika tomorrow, but she should be here before the town hall on Saturday. We're giving a talk to the student bodies of every high school in the state, all based out of Erika's old school tomorrow afternoon." That was what he'd brought his crew out for. His morning was spoken for by his niece. "I'm going visiting Erika's niece's elementary school in the morning but you don't all have to come along for that."

Trip was finally ready to complain, it seemed. Jon was impressed he'd waited this long. "It's hot as hell out here."

Hoshi nodded at Jon then started leading Trip away quietly. "I did tell you it was a desert. You should have been paying more attention. Malcolm, Travis, come on. Carla you should go back to your uncle."

That was when Jon felt Erika's hand on the small of his back as Carla once again launched herself at his knees. At least this time she didn't jump into his arms. "They seem to be in good spirits?" She commented after his crew, he used the break where it was the two of them and a seven year old to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

He couldn't blame his crew for being in a good mood. They needed this type of break, it was why he'd jumped at Simon's idea. "This is pretty different from what we've been doing the last few weeks, it's a welcome change."

"I bet, come on Carla, let's go see Abuela." Erika's comment about her mother reminded them that he was out here and they couldn't really let his crew know what was going on with Erika. He wondered if that was going to work.

"See you later?" He asked, just a little worried.

Erika looked confused for a second. "Are you not coming along? My mother will be glad to see you, and I'm not sure Carla will come if you don't."

Well. That solved that, didn't it. "I'll go tell those four where I'll be, wait for me."

"Sure." She stepped onto her tiptoes and gave him a gentle peck before stepping back again and looking around the town that she had been brought up in. He couldn't imagine being as fond of any singular place as Erika was of this town.

The thoughts about this town reminded him of what had happened the last time he'd been here, just before _Enterprise_ had launched, a good year after Lita had given him Porthos. That had ended in him having a pan thrown at his head. Erika had definitely inherited her penchant for throwing things when she was annoyed from her mother. "Your mother won't throw anything at me this time, right?"

"I'm not going to make any guarantees." She shouted back to him with a smirk. If he had been closer, and maybe without a seven year old witness, he would have probably thrown something at her for that.

"Mean." He shouted back instead and laughed. It was definitely nice to be back in this town. He hadn't been here in a long time, but it meant so much to Erika, and it was such a huge part of her heritage. She was from Tatum and she would always be proud of being from Tatum. The fact that he and his crew could answer questions and show the upside of Starfleet and their recent missions while they were here was just an upside, one that he wasn't going to forget about.


	22. Chapter 22

**Erika and Jon get a little lonely... and make good use of Jon's hotel.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Thursday, Week 5:**_

There had been a moment where she'd been sat at home and it had become obvious that she wasn't going to sleep. What that was she wasn't sure, but she'd been sure. At that point she'd told Simon she'd see him in the morning and had come to find Jon. It had taken her longer to remember her way to the hotel they were staying in, and then she'd had the panic of not remembering which room he was in. She knew it was somewhere along this corridor. She stalked along before she recognised the areas the Starfleet officers had been put in. He was in one of the end rooms, but that hadn't seemed to imprint any further on her, so she walked to the first door and knocked. "Jonathan?"

"Next room." Came a female voice, immediately identifying the speaker as being Ensign Sato. The only other woman in the group until Veronica arrived after the meetings later. Erika was almost certain she would have disturbed the linguist, but she couldn't bring herself to feel sorry. Not really. She'd apologise anyway.

"Sorry Ensign." She looked along the corridor again just in time to see Jon poking his head out of the door for the next room. She smiled and almost ran to his door. This wasn't going to bear well for them if she couldn't even go one night apart.

Jon seemed to be feeling the same way, at least that was the impression she got when he pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard. Neither of them really caring if anyone saw them. It just wasn't important to her right now. After a few minutes, and a very intense conversation without uttering a single word he pulled her backwards into his room, then pinned her back against the door. "I heard you. I thought you were staying at home tonight?" That was the killer question. She'd thought that too.

"I was, then I realised I'd gotten used to sleeping with you next to me, so I came to join you." That was apparently the magic word, or words, as Jon once again pulled her flush against him, then lifted her into his arms. She was grateful in that moment for the fact he had been down to his blues, and she had put on one of her light cotton sundresses just for this occasion. His hands wrapped around her tightly, and all she could think to do was trail her hands around his midriff before pulling his shirt over his head.

It took seconds for her to lift her hands above her head and let Jon help her pull her dress off. A second later he had her back in his arms, back flush to the door. She was certain this was a bad idea, but that wasn't stopping her. His lips went to her neck, her shoulders, alternately kissing and biting lightly as she remembered how important and rare this situation actually was for the two of them. She stopped thinking entirely as his fingers slid down her stomach and pelvis before he started rubbing her clit, causing her to gasp loudly and grin against his hair. Every stroke of his fingers taking her higher, there was something so right about this moment.

Jon knew the effect he was having on her, always the same when they were in this position. She wimpered as he withdrew his hand, missing his ministrations almost immediately, but she wasn't waiting for long, he slid himself deep into her the n whispered against her ear five of the most important, loving words she'd heard in a long time. "Good, I was missing you." He muttered, and she believed every word. The two of them had hardly spent any time apart now in months.

Thoughts were coming in disconnected bursts. Not one of them making sense to her, but coming all the same. Images of Jon in the various places she'd known him. The hangar of the NX Programme, her bedroom at home, the bridge of his ship, right here in this moment. Each of them showing her a different facet of the man she'd fallen completely in love with. All of her life and her plans for the future were contained in this moment and everything she wanted was right there.

Her breath started coming in shuddering gasps , and Jon clearly realised how close she was, picking up his pace. She ended up digging her nails into his shoulders, holding on for dear life and trying to keep her voice down. She leant forward and kissed Jon as hard as she could to help with that. Any other place she wouldn't bother, but she was very aware that his crew were in rooms all around them, and while she was fairly sure they all knew about their relationship already, there were things they didn't need to know.

Jon, somehow, had the control of his limbs enough to guide them to the bed, and the second her back hit the bed she knew this was not going to be a night that contained much sleep, but it was going to be a night they wouldn't forget. Considering what was happening the following day she wasn't sure this was necessarily the best thing, or what they should be doing. "Do you really think we should be doing this?" She couldn't refrain from asking, but all Jon did was flip them over and kiss her harder.

"I do." He said, then as he pushed himself inside her again, her entire body arching to meet him better. Once he was in as far as he could go, and they were both comfortable and calm, he leant down and kissed her again, before whispering the three words that for decades had terrified her, but now she knew they were true, and she felt them too. That was the important part of it. "I love you."

The set a steady pace, and she just had two words on her mind, the only two she needed to say for Jonathan to understand how she felt for him. "Me too." She mumbled, focusing again on the moment. It was going to be so much easier for her to show him how she felt. Despite being a linguist, she never knew how to verbally tell Jon how much he meant to her. She didn't just love him, she truly believed that on some plane of existence they were meant to be together, but telling him that was harder than she had expected. But she would show him, and it would be beautiful.


	23. Chapter 23

**Carla does not help when adults need a conversation...**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Friday, week 5**_

The one good thing about the lack of sleep the night before had been that he and Erika hadn't been late. He had known that if he had been left on his own the temptation to stay in bed would have been too huge, and she would have had to come and wake him up. Despite the few hours of sleep they'd actually gotten, Erika had had him up, dressed and eating breakfast before a single one of his crew were awake. As far as he knew they were all exploring the town this morning while he and Erika did this. As soon as they'd arrived at the elementary school, Carla had latched onto them, and was now stood in her classroom pointing out all the things she'd done that she could see from her vantage point. "Uncle Jon can I sit on your knee?" She asked after a minute, when he'd finally sat in one of the two adult sized chairs in the front of the room, in front of a semi circle of mats and bean bags the kids clearly sat in.

As for Carla continuing to sit on his knee. That would make talking to all the other kids in the class hard. He was sure he could still manage it, but it would be harder. "That wouldn't be fair to the other kids, would it?" He tried, wondering if she'd accept that as a valid reason.

He had forgotten, however, that he was talking to Erika's niece. "No, but you're not the other kids' uncle either and that's not very fair too." She replied, and he looked up at Erika, who had a very large smirk plastered across her face as she looked at her niece with great fondness.

Erika clearly realised he was looking at her and reached out to rub Carla's back before she said anything. "She's kinda got you there Jonathan."

This required payback, and he could think of something simple and easy to say that would win this for him. "How about you sit on your aunt Erika's knee, then you'll be next to me and can help."

Carla clearly thought about that for a second then nodded, jumping off his knee as she replied. "OK."

"Thanks for that, Jon." Erika rolled her eyes, and he felt like he had accomplished his mission when Carla immediately jumped up onto Erika's knee. He was still sniggering when Erika winced a second later and tapped Carla's arm lightly. "Ouch, Carla. Elbows."

"Sorry." Carla muttered then leant against her aunt's chest. It was only then that Jon realised that the Hernandez genes must be strong, he could easily imagine he was looking at Erika when she was seven, given how similar Carla looked to her aunt.

Clearly he had been staring at the two of them for long enough, as Erika leant forward and poked him gently, bringing his attention back to the moment. "You sure you're ready for this? You never used to be good with kids." That was true, then again neither had Erika. In fact he was fairly sure that Erika was still terrible with kids, which was maybe why letting her keep hold of one that was biologically related to her might be the healthiest choice for all involved.

He was ready for this though, and it made him feel better that it was Carla's class he was starting with, instead of going straight into the high school later in the afternoon. He was far more nervous about doing justice there than here. This was a group of seven and eight year olds. "I'm sure I'll be fine. I may need a stiff drink when we're done though."

Erika grinned, then shook her head and he knew she was going to mention their commitment for the afternoon. "We have the high school this afternoon."

"Dammit. Dinner tonight?" He asked, despite knowing they were going to be dining with his crew and, no doubt by then, Veronica Fletcher too. Trip would get his money back which would keep the engineer in a good mood.

Erika was clearly running through that option too, and it amused him no end that she even managed to look like she was considering it. "With a great big bottle of wine, or whiskey." She finally said, a smile forming again. Now, the whiskey he could get on board with, the wine she could keep. He only had that when there was nothing else on offer. More than that she knew that.

"I'll skip the wine."

Carla, who he'd thought might have been falling asleep suddenly spoke again, and he was once again reminded that children would say anything they felt like saying. "Daddy let me try wine once, it tastes like icky gone off juice."

Jon couldn't help but laugh at that characterisation of wine, especially given Erika's preference. He also felt this was a really good time to tease Erika again, since it had been left wide open for him by their niece. "Carla, if you take after your aunt at all you'll develop a taste for wine at 18 and it'll never leave you."

"I don't have a problem with pushing you off that chair in front of the kids." Erika threatened with a smile, he knew it wasn't a serious threat, and considering the lack of children in the room he wasn't at all afraid or concerned, because if there were children they wouldn't have been teasing each other anyway. They would have had to be doing their jobs here.

"They aren't here yet, so I can tease you."

Carla was clearly thinking about her own thing, and all of a sudden sat back and looked at Erika seriously. This was going to go somewhere hilarious, he could already tell. "Aunty Rike, are you and Uncle Jon gonna get married like mommy and daddy." Carla didn't let him down, she looked so earnest, and Erika looked so confused.

"Umm. Well." Erika stuttered, and it was obvious she didn't quite know what to say.

Jon looked back to her and smirked even wider. He still counted this as being payback. "I'm not helping you this time."

"How about we talk about this another time Carla. Uncle Jon and I need to talk a lot first." That was probably not the best answer to give a curious kid, but it was something, at least.

"Aunt Gina got married last year and I got to be a flower girl." Maria, Simon's wife, had three sisters. Jon remembered that much, and he was fairly sure that Gina was one of them.

"I know, Carla, I was there." Erika, clearly, remembered the wedding. Jon remembered pictures being sent, right after they had entered the Expanse. All he could remember was that Erika's dress had been blue and she'd looked amazing in it.

"I wasn't telling you." Carla snapped, and Jon had to refrain from snickering.

Erika, clearly was not as impressed by Carla's snapping as he was. "Shouldn't you be out at recess with your friends?" She asked, nodding to the windows where the kids were all clearly playing. They couldn't have long left.

Carla obviously decided it was a good idea. "I should go tell them you're here. Yeah."

"Ouch. Carla. Elbows." Erika repeated her earlier comment about her nieces use of elbows when climbing on and off a knee.

Jon had to ask her whether or not she thought she had distracted Carla. The likelihood of that seemed to be almost negligible, because the girl was completely dedicated to finding out information she really shouldn't have been able to know. "Think you'll stop her asking about us getting married?"

"No, the likelihood of that is tiny, but I can hope that maybe you distract her with your talk." Well, that added to the stakes of his talk with the kids.

"She brought up a good question though."

Clearly, Erika was not in the right mood to deal with him being on Carla's side in this conversation. "Don't start, we've not even decided if we're still going to be together in 3 weeks."

"We broke up once already and ended up back together, and if we break up again you can be damn sure we'll end up back together again." He wasn't letting this get away from them. They were good, he was good, and he finally felt better about everything. He would be dead without Erika. "We're good together, Erika. You can't deny it, and I don't want to deny it. You told me last night you missed me, and we'd been apart for 36 hours. I don't think this is as cut and dried as either of us thought it was." They had both thought they were going to leave it on the mountain, that hadn't worked so well. It had lasted 4 days.

"Let's talk about this when we're back in San Francisco." She started, and it was suddenly really obvious Erika was ready to talk. He might get what he wanted, and she would talk. Obviously his face made her think she was still undecided and putting things off, because she continued talking. "Actually talk this time, not put it off again. I won't put it off again."

"I'll hold you to that." He kissed her gently as the bell rang, and a second later Carla had run in and thrown herself back onto Erika's knee. This time it was obvious that Erika meant it. They would finally have the conversation he'd been pushing for them to have for weeks now. Maybe that meant that she was finally ready. He hoped it did. She hadn't disagreed with him at all though, and that gave him hope. Maybe she was ready.


	24. Chapter 24

**Basically just some cute SassCaptains**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Saturday, week 5**_

She stood up from the desk, glad to know that the town hall meeting was over, and later this afternoon their professional obligations here were going to be done. Most of their crews would be going back to San Francisco in the morning, she and Jon were both going to stay around until after church and Sunday dinner, then head back in the evening. She was looking forward to a day without their officers. As for the town hall, that had gone far simpler than she'd expected, and had been a slightly more grown up version of what had happened in the high school the day before. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Jon rolled his eyes and groaned. She could already tell that he was dreading suggesting this. It had been great fun for the rest of them. Even if Jon hadn't enjoyed himself as much. "We just got roasted by your entire community."

"I didn't mind that. I have to admit, Jon's babbling about salmon fishing was beautiful." Trip grinned, then nudged his friend, causing Erika to laugh. She hadn't had cause to talk to the engineer, despite knowing of him for more than a decade, she would need to try and change that.

"Hey, lets never bring that up again." Jon shook his head, and placed a hand on the small of Erika's back as the two Captains brought up the rear of the group. Last to leave the hall after answering all the questions. She was exhausted now, but she knew they still had things to do.

As for them never bringing up the salmon, that was never going to happen. "Jonathan it went live across the entire planet." Veronica reminded him, and Erika burst out laughing too. It was obvious that he hated all of them right now. "This one is going to be bigger than the Gazelles."

The Gazelles, famous but largely unseen in Starfleet. Erika had been lucky enough to have been shown the footage, and then of course she'd shown Veronica. Jon was clearly trying to figure out how she had found out about it, and not coming up with any good answers. "How did you hear about that!?"

Veronica pointed to her, and smirked. She was about to be dropped in it, at least she had various ways to convince Jon to leave her alone and allow her to survive. "Erika showed me."

"And how did you find it out?" Jon rounded on her, the dropped back a little to have their conversation in at least the illusion of privacy. The other officers clearly realised what the two Captains were doing and picked up their pace ever so slightly, just enough that by the time she spoke next there was a small gap between them.

"I'm a Captain." She tried, wondering if he would buy it. She hadn't been a captain when it had happened, she'd been on the Republic and certainly hadn't had the security clearance.

Jon obviously rolled it around his mind for a few seconds then narrowed his eyes again and looked at her seriously. "That doesn't explain it?"

"I've known Soval longer than I've known you." That was always her little trump card, and it was something Jon forgot almost every time something came up her knowledge of it could be traced back to her friendship with Soval.

Jon had clearly forgotten it again this time, as the palm went to his forehead she started sniggering. "God damn it."

She slapped him gently on the arm. "Hey, don't take the Lord's name in vain."

"Don't you start." He teased her back, poking her gently in the side and causing her to yelp.

"You two do remember we're in public right." Veronica shouted back to them from their distance. It was a good job she did too, because Erika had completely forgotten that. It wasn't that she had meant to forget it, it was just easy to when she and Jon were talking, they could forget the rest of the world even existed.

"Oh yeah. I actually completely forgot that." Jon admitted, at least she wasn't alone in forgetting. That made her feel a lot better about it. She never used to forget, but now it seemed to be regular. Jon was smirking, and she knew she'd need to distract everyone.

"My mother and sister-in-law have put a barbecue on, our duties aren't done yet." She pointed in the direction of her childhood home in the distance. This walk was definitely going to do them all the world of good.

As for Jon, he dropped his voice again, and they fell straight back into their private bubble, where they were the only ones who mattered to one another. "Your mother is trying to cause Carla to kill me, isn't she?"

"Possibly. I think Maria likes having a break." Carla was a very inquisitive child, and Erika was sure that it drove her brother and sister-in-law mad from time to time, because they couldn't give her back.

Jon just slipped his hand back to the small of her back, and Erika wondered what was going on in his brain right now. Normally she could tell, but today she wasn't so sure, they'd jumped through a lot of topics. "What is it with 'a' names in your family. Lita, Maria, Erika, Carla, Amelia…?" He asked finally after a few minutes of comfortable silence, and she realised she was going to have to have to explain the name choices in her family. It was a long standing tradition on her mothers' side that Maria had just managed to fit in with.

"It's a family tradition, has been for generations. All baby girls get names ending in a." She shook her head, realising how ridiculous that sounded. Jon smiled sweetly, and obviously he thought it was a good tradition. "If I ever have a daughter she'll have to follow it too."

"Really?" Or, maybe not so good. He looked more surprised than anything, though, and she just shrugged, not really sure what to say under his stare.

It took her a few minutes longer to put her mind together and figure out the words that needed to come out and the order she needed them to come out in. "Yeah. Not that I'm planning on having children. At least not right now. I'm not counting it out though."

"Well, that's a big change." He commented, and from the last time they'd spoken about kids he was probably right. For a long time she hadn't wanted kids. Then they'd tried and had the miscarriage, which had put her off trying again.

Now she was ready though, she was sure of it. "Yeah, I guess. I don't know. It's an idea I'm entertaining."

Jon stopped her a second and lifted her chin then stared at her for a minute. All she could do was smile and hope that she didn't give too much of her mind away. "Keep entertaining. You'd make a great mom."

"Thanks." She couldn't help but smile. Considering she would only have children with him, if they ever got to that point, it was good that he thought that.

"We're falling behind." Jon motioned to where the other 5 officers had peeled off. There was a possibility that the two of them were dawdling, actually that was certain. She was sure that if it was a problem they'd stop. Somehow she didn't think it was actually a problem for any of them.

Erika just shrugged, hoping it told him that he needn't worry. "Veronica knows where my mom lives, and they clearly aren't missing us right now." She shrugged again, then slipped her hand into his. "Does your family have any traditions?" That was a question she'd never really asked him, she wasn't sure why, it just never seemed like the right point.

"None that I really know of. My family aren't big sharers." Jon didn't sound particularly sad about it either, but Erika loved family traditions. Maybe if Jon ever had his own family his opinions on them would change..

"Maybe you can start your own tradition when you start a family?" She tried to phrase it less like a question, more a possibility, but she wasn't sure it worked. She was actually pretty sure that it came out more like a question.

He clearly didn't miss that and nudged her gently. "When we start a family."

That was not what she needed to be thinking about right now. While she would love to have a family with Jon one day, deciding it was going to be the two of them was awfully presumptutious, who knew what might happen. "Jonathan-"

"I'm not starting." He held his hands up after cutting her off. Clearly realising what she was going to say. "I just know who I want a family with, and if it's not with her I don't want one. I did at one time but now I have too much on in my life to do it if I'm not 100% committed to it." He gave her a significant look, it was obvious that he meant he wanted a family with her, and nobody else. That wasn't something she ever would have thought of.

"That's a change too." She commented. Remembering when he had been very family oriented.

"An evolution, more than a change." He squeezed her hand then tried to pull her into moving again before motioning at the now hard-to-see collection of their subordinates. "Come on, we should catch up with them. This is a conversation for a long way down the road."

"No kidding." She laughed and shook her head, then took the moment of being completely alone to step onto her tiptoes and kiss him. She wasn't going to have much choice to do that for a the rest of the day, and she didn't want to have to end that kind of conversation without showing that it didn't scare her. What she had realised is that she was actually ready for the conversation she and Jonathan needed to have. She also knew her answer.


	25. Chapter 25

**The beginning of everything changing... for the best.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Monday, week 5**_

As he took in the view from the twentieth floor, the lights went out all over the city. The outside darkness almost an echo of the internal darkness. He knew he shouldn't think like that, that he should try and focus on the positive aspects of all that he was doing, but he couldn't. He'd spent most of the last few weeks being positive. But an op ed had come out blasting all his decisions, and he'd fallen back.

He had done things, so many things, that nobody should ever forgive him for. They certainly shouldn't praise him. Unfortunately given the position he was in, and the classified nature of his last mission, most people would never know the decisions he'd made in the Expanse. He had tried to distance himself from everyone who could tell him that dwelling on this wasn't a good idea, but that hadn't worked either.

Thinking back over the last month and a half he realised what had gone on. He'd been sought out almost immediately by one of the only people he could bear to be near. She had barely left him alone in the last few weeks, and that had helped him deal with most of the demons that plagued him. She had pulled him back from the edge, both literally and figuratively, and he was grateful to her for that. But there was still a change in him, something was missing, or had he changed completely. Whichever answer he came up with, he couldn't understand what Erika saw in him.

She saw something though, something redeemable, something worth saving. They had spent most of the last five weeks reconnecting. Both as friends and as lovers. After those first 5 days, the days they spent on the mountain, he'd thought they would just go back to being friends. That had gone out the window that first night he'd turned up, needing to see her, five days after their return from the mountain. They'd spoken, they'd kissed, they'd held each other by the moonlight streaming into her window. It had been a perfect night and one he would remember the rest of his life. They'd spent almost every night since together, she'd return from a day on her ship or a day recruiting her officers with stories, he'd listen and be reminded of everything he'd been doing 4 years earlier, just after they broke up. A couple of weeks earlier he'd returned from his mothers' and she'd been the first person he'd wanted to see. They'd gone to Tatum and they'd both ended up in his hotel room because they'd missed being together. Normally he slept better with her there, but tonight he couldn't sleep, and he couldn't stop thinking about the negatives of their situations. Would they really able to move past all of this. They'd both wanted to talk, but in the 24 hours since they'd got back from New Mexico she'd been busy being a Captain and so had he.

Erika Hernandez had been a large part of what had saved him at his lowest. Her love and compassion had reminded him of all that he had been, and he knew there was still a question in both their minds, were they going to continue this when he went back to _Enterprise_. When they were light-years apart and unable to do anything for each other but talk. She was worth it, would she think the same of him? They had shared very much over the last few weeks, hearts, beds, thoughts. But she still hadn't clarified her position, and he kept telling her he loved her. He didn't want to push her, he didn't, but it was killing him to not know whether he thought she was worth everything he was willing to risk.

"Jonathan." He heard, then felt her warm body pressing into his back. He hadn't realised how chilled he'd become standing there in the dark, contemplating the darkness. Erika's heat immediately warmed him, and the reminder of her presence made him feel a lot calmer. Not that he wanted to admit that he needed her.

"The city is dark." He replied, not wanting to talk about his maudlin thoughts already. He knew they'd come out eventually, but for a minute he just wanted to keep focusing on that dark city. It was exactly what he wanted.

"Power saving with the heat, probably." She commented, looking out over the view he'd been studying. It was a late spring heatwave, and he was sure she was probably right. On many an occasion this had been where he came to think on the occasions they were at his apartment, the one he'd bought after they broke up. Her apartment had been her apartment before she'd asked him to move in, and he'd found this one suited him more than his pre-Erika apartment. They had all contained too many memories. He wondered if she was thinking over them too. "Sun'll be up in an hour or two anyway."

It didn't matter so much that she was there, that she had her arms wrapped around his waist tightly. It didn't matter that he still had her uniforms in his wardrobe and that she had slipped into one of his t-shirts without a second thought, he still wondered what it was she thought was worth saving about him, and why she kept coming back to him. "Why are you here, Erika?" He asked, he needed to ask. Even if he knew her answer.

He could sense her disapproval of that question without seeing her. Clearly the bond they had built up over the course of their relationship hadn't been broken by the 4 year break. He still knew what her mind was thinking at any given time. The fingers tapping on his arm backed up his impression. "Because you need me, and I want to be here."

"I'm not a good man Rike." He commented, trying to press that point home. He was so much less than she deserved. She deserved a man who was as pure and honest and unbroken as she was. She deserved so much more than him. She clearly disagreed as she disentangled herself from behind him then came forward, standing in front of him. Lifting his chin until he met her eyes.

"You never were, Jonathan. That didn't stop me falling in love with you, hasn't stopped me loving you now or at any point in the last four years." Her words were sincere, but what really sold him was the honesty in her eyes. She'd never hidden anything from him before, and she'd never lied to him, even when lying to him would have made her life better. He could take her at her word, no matter what that word was. He might wonder how someone could love him knowing what he'd done, but there was clearly no doubt for Erika, and she knew everything. She'd read every report, heard his confessions while they'd been climbing. While there was a darkness all around him, there was a light always shining for him, and she was stood there with him being held in his arms, trying to comfort him. "It's not your fault, Jonathan."

"I don't know what you see in me?" he smiled slightly, trying to keep the sense of doubt out of his voice. Even though he knew she was telling him the truth, he was still having a hard time quashing his inner doubts. There were just so many of them.

She sighed and stepped onto her tiptoes and kissed him lightly. "A future. Our future." She replied, and stroked the side of his face as she did. It combined to make him feel calm and peaceful. He didn't even consider her words until a moment later.

How could she still see a future with him after what he'd done? He couldn't even see his future some days. "Even after all this?" He asked, and hissed when she lightly slapped his arm.

"Always, Jon."

"Erika, I know we've not really said it, or thought about it, because this could all end badly. I know this is a trial period and we're not at the end of that, but still." He stopped and took a breath, not wanting to ramble too much about things that didn't matter, or the things they hadn't said that maybe they should have. He just wanted to get his point out, tell her where he stood, so she knew once and for all. "I lost you once, four years ago, because we decided that my career should come first. We keep saying we're going to talk when you're ready and then we don't because we both know that the frat rules exist. But the simple fact is- I don't think I can lose you again. I need you in my life, I want us to be together."

Erika looked at him seriously for a few moments, and he found himself holding his breath waiting for her answer. He knew she mattered to him, he knew she was the most important person to him, but for some reason, right now, he wasn't sure the reverse was true. The longer the silence stretched, Erika just studying him and thinking, the more nervous he got himself. When she opened her mouth he almost dreaded what she was going to say, until he heard the words. "I do too, Jon." He stopped her a moment, kissing her hard. There were certainly easier and better ways for them to have this conversation, but if she was ready to have it he was too. He pulled back and rested his head against her forehead, ready to listen again. "I think I put off the conversation because despite all our nights together, despite how much we're enjoying ourselves, I couldn't guarantee you felt the same as me."

"Once we're out there, we're the ones in charge. We're the same rank, and we're better together than apart." He argued that point, and would argue it with anyone who tried to argue that they were doing the selfish thing by deciding they were better together than apart. He could read her movements, her moods. Predict her movements, her plans. They were better this way, and he really wanted this to work, and to keep working. It would be best for all of them.

She nodded with a smile, just adding to his growing feeling of contentment. "Let's just amend the climbers' code, we don't leave it there or here, we leave it between us. Nobody has to know. They can leave it as a rumour" Her words made perfect sense, and he just nodded, still in shock that this time she had opened up to him. This time she had told him.

He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her into a hug, kissing her as hard as he could manage, holding onto her as tightly as he could. So much had changed, had lifted, in this conversation. He finally felt he could tell her what mattered the most. "God, I love you." He muttered and finally felt some of the darkness lift. She wasn't going to run away from him and leave him, his light was there, and she was going to stay there. That was everything he had wanted, and he knew that he was in the right situation for it.


	26. Chapter 26

**Erika sits and worries.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Monday, week 5**_

She knew he was asleep now, but she was worried he was slipping again. For so long he'd been doing well, barely worrying, barely questioning whether or not he'd done the right thing. Now though… he'd fallen back into asking and questioning and it worried her. The fact she'd found him stood at the window worried her. Maybe some of it was healthy, maybe some of it was needed, but she didn't want him to slide back to 6 weeks ago, when he'd returned from the Expanse a broken man. They'd tried rebuilding and he'd been doing well.

She couldn't seem to stop thinking, which was a problem, since she needed to sleep. They both did, but at least it seemed like Jonathan had fallen asleep. She sighed as she shifted position again. Trying to get comfortable enough to doze off. She shifted again only a second later and that was when Jon's arms tightened around her and he mumbled into her neck. "You're not asleep?"

"I was thinking." She answered, it also had the quality of being true. Jon opened his eyes and looked at her blearily, clearly he'd been asleep and her tossing and turning had woken him up. She felt a little bit guilty about that, but considering he was the one who had made her so worried she didn't feel it too much.

Jon, clearly, just wondered what she was doing thinking. He hugged her even closer, and she was happy that he had enough about him to at least want to ask. "What about?"

It was a bit of a loaded question right now, given what she'd been thinking about. So she would try and answer as vaguely as possible. "You. Me. Starfleet. Earth." She commented, not really wanting to worry him further than he already had been. She'd wondered if he'd care that she worried even more about him since losing AG. The worry she'd split between her two boys was now all on Jon. AG was like a second brother to her, and she couldn't lose Jon too. Telling him that though, it wouldn't work well.

Jon looked at her again then smiled slightly, maybe understanding a little more about what she was not saying to him. "So basically everything?" He asked with a small laugh.

"Yeah. I guess." She admitted. There was more that she could have said, but she didn't want to push anything. She wanted to go to sleep.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." He mumbled again, then kissed her hard, rolling over her a little and pressing her into the mattress as he did. She didn't mind, and she was actually more than comfortable that he did. It gave her thirty seconds to plan how she was going to tell him that scaring her and worrying her were different things. He'd never scared, but he regularly worried her. Maybe she was scared of the consequences, but not him.

She needed to let him know that, as soon as she took a breath. "Nothing you've done in 14 years has scared me Jonathan." She laughed then leant up and kissed him again. He wanted so much to apologise to her, and she just wanted him to be over the worst. Maybe concluding her thought seriously would be the best idea, because at least then they could talk about it. "I was worried though."

Jon rolled back over and laid back, one arm across his face. She looked at him again and smiled, it was nice at least to see that he was frustrated, not depressed. "That article, it just got to me, it got in my head." He sighed loudly, and Erika propped herself up, running her fingers in circles on his chest, one of the many ways she'd learnt calmed him over their many years of knowing one another.

"They do that sometimes." She muttered then shook her head. Kissing him lightly and sat up again. She wanted to just tell him that it didn't matter, that he would weather every storm and look good while doing it. She wasn't sure exactly what words to use, how she would be able to pick him up again. "But you're better than that, Jon, let it go." She whispered and smiled at him again.

After a few seconds Jon leant up and kissed the tip of her nose before laying back down and ran his hands along her shoulders and down her arms, at which point it was almost certain her words had helped him settle something in his mind. She didn't know what he was thinking, but at least he seemed happier. He was laid there smiling, and it was just as she laid down again he spoke. "Did you know I love you more than I can possibly explain."

"Well. I'm loveable." She tried to play it cool, she'd never been very good at accepting compliments, even if it was from the one man who she cared about more than anything.

Apparently, that was the wrong answer, or the wrong response at least. "Erika, I'm serious."

"I know. I'm worried about you, Jonathan." He looked at her seriously, clearly asking what she meant and what she was thinking, which was exactly her problem. She needed to let him know why though, and why she was scared for the consequences. "Not just because I'm me and you're you, not just because your happiness is important to me but also because you need to have your game face on. _Enterprise_ is gonna be ready to go soon, and you need to be ready for that." He would be. She knew that, she'd always known that. He didn't though.

Jon clearly thought about it for a moment, then looked at her with a frown. "You don't think I am?"

She was certain about what he was capable of doing, she'd always been certain about it. She'd known he'd see _Enterprise_ through the Expanse and she'd known he'd get the NX-programme through the bumps. She'd been certain he'd be a Captain and she was certain that when _Enterprise_ launched again he'd be ready. The problem was with him. "I'm sure you are, I don't think you think you are."

"You're right, I don't." She was simultaneously glad he knew himself well enough to admit it, and annoyed that he had just agreed with her. He did put a finger on her lips before she could get annoyed at him. "But knowing you think I am helps. You've always had more faith in me than I did." He smiled at her with that disarming little-boy smile he used from time to time when he just really wanted her to agree with him on something.

It was only then that she realised she was getting tired, and the clock over Jon's shoulder told her they'd still have a few hours to sleep if they went to sleep right then. Considering she knew he needed sleep that was almost definitely the way to go. "Nah, I just know you. You have a big day tomorrow, redeployment plan meeting with Forrest. You should sleep."

Jon looked at her seriously, and it was clear he was debating how she had ever known about it to begin with. She was well aware the meeting was not common knowledge, but at the same time she also knew both Jon and Forrest and their schedules. Deductive reasoning had won out. "How did you know about that?"

"I know everything. Sleep, Jonathan." She kissed his nose and then curled up with her forehead pressed against his. It wasn't often they would sleep or even try to sleep in this position, but something told Erika that Jon needed her closeness, and she definitely needed to know that he was OK. So she kissed him one last time then let herself start drifting off. Hopefully they'd get another hour or two to sleep before they needed to go to work.


	27. Chapter 27

**Erika sits and worries.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Tuesday, week 6**_

The meeting hadn't been anything specific so far. It had been updates, confirmation of repair schedules and readiness reports. He knew that all needed to be out of the way before Forrest would speak candidly, and before he could really speak at all. It was always going to be too hard to readjust to not being the one in charge, but really he was finding it harder to adjust the other way, in a very short amount of time he was going to be back in the Captains' chair, and as his conversation the night before with Erika had proven to him, he wasn't sure he was ready. He also knew that was going to be the first question.

"Are you ready for this, Jon?" Forrest also knew Jon almost as well as Erika did, at least on a professional level, Forrest also knew that Jon had had problems with his confidence over the years. Forrest was going to ask a question, and while Jon could answer and say what Forrest would want to hear, he wouldn't feel right in doing so.

"Going back out there? Yes and no. Mostly no." There, he managed to give both answers and not tell a single lie, it was an impressive feat that he was unlikely to be able to repeat again.

The follow up question was harder to ask, and even harder for Jon to think of an acceptable answer for. "Why not?"

He stopped, trying to think of an appropriate answer, of really any answer he could give that wouldn't seem extremely self serving and ridiculous. Though, almost any answer to this question was going to be somewhat self serving, he was defending his own fear of going back out into deep space. At least there was a reason, one nobody could argue with, because nobody else had been out there. "Because the last year has been hell and I don't think I necessarily handled it the best." His worries about his decisions over the last year were well known in Starfleet. Every single one of them was well known. He tried listening to Erika, knowing she was right about everything, but that didn't stop his sadness, his guilt. "I still feel guilty about the decisions I made there."

Forrest, it seemed, wasn't about to let him ignore what progress he had made in the last few weeks. "You've made remarkable strides the last few weeks in coming to terms with the Expanse." That was the issue, wasn't it. Coming to terms with what happened. Not that it had happened, but that he needed to come to terms with it. Any 'coming to terms' he had managed to do had all been because of the time he'd spent with Erika.

Which was something he wasn't going to allow to go overlooked. "That's mostly thanks to Erika." He smiled almost against his will. Erika wasn't the story here, he was. He wanted to make it about Erika though if he possible could, she was a much more pleasant topic of conversation.

Forrest latched onto that, maybe noticing Jon needed a subject change, or maybe just wanting to take the time to talk about one of their few mutual friends. "Seeing her regularly?" He asked, and Jon smiled willingly this time.

"Pretty much every day." It was only then he realised he was speaking to their superior officer, and he might have been lax about their relationship while they had been low-level commanders, there was a chance he might not be as happy about two Starfleet Captains deciding to embark in a relationship. "Don't comment on it being inappropriate believe me we know."

Forrest, however, held his hands up and smiled, clearly not about to argue about the proprietary of their relationship. Not right now at least. At that moment he leant forward and whispered quietly. "I wasn't going to say anything, who do you think told her where you'd gone on leave?"

That explained a lot, and solved a mystery Erika had been very coy about. She hadn't given Forrest up, he was pretty impressed by that. It couldn't have been easy. Not at all. "I should have known it was you."

"You should have." Forrest smiled, and Jon wanted to ask how Forrest had known to send her after him. Maybe it was something about the way he left. "I knew you needed help and I knew out of everyone in Starfleet the only person you would accept that help from was Erika Hernandez. Your personal relationship is something I don't need to know about." Well, that was good to know, he wasn't going to have to explain that he was basically living with Erika recently.

"Good." He admitted with a smile. He didn't want to tell her he'd given it all away.

Forrest once again looked at him seriously, at which point it was clearly obvious he wanted to try and get back to their last conversation. "_Enterprise_ will be launched within the next two weeks, you're aware of that, right?"

"Yes, and by then I'll be ready again. I'll have the new members of staff I'm breaking in." That was at least half his problem, he wasn't sure how he'd do with new crew. Especially since he knew some of his old crew, at least, were accepting positions with Erika. "Will have the few I'm giving to _Columbia_ ready to go after a couple of farewell missions."

"You and Erika have arranged that?" Forrest asked him, and all he needed to do was nod.

"Any junior who wants to go has the option of transferring either to _Columbia_ or anywhere else." They were all going to _Columbia_ though, he already knew that. There wasn't really anywhere else to go after serving on the first NX ship. "I don't expect more than 10 to choose to leave, all of them going to _Columbia_."

Forrest looked like he was going to clap, he was so very happy about how they were working things out between the two of them. "I couldn't have planned this better myself." He smiled, and Jon had to laugh, he enjoyed seeing his old friend so animated. "It was always going to be either Erika or AG who got my endorsement for the 02. I know you were giving AG your support."

That wasn't necessarily true. AG was who he'd publicly backed, only because Erika had never told him she was considering a Captaincy. He would have backed her equally if he had had that option. "I would have given it to Erika if she'd asked, she never asked and I thought she wasn't looking for a captaincy yet."

"She's the right choice." Forrest said, and that was one thing neither of them were ever going to disagree on, because Erika was the perfect choice for the 02.

"And believe me, I'm damn proud of her." He was, he loved that they were the same rank but most of all he was proud that she had managed to convince others that she was worth the risk. "She's going to be an amazing Captain."

"Well, she can't be any harder to handle than you've been."

"Do you really want to curse yourself, I remind you we're talking about Erika Hernandez here." He had a million examples he could give of Erika's stubbornness. "The only person to have talked you into bringing people back to the NX Programme after they were transferred."

Forrest gave him a look and it was obvious that he had to give that one up. Erika was very stubborn when she wanted to. "OK maybe she can be a pain in the ass, but I still bet you've been a bigger one. She has more common sense than any Captain we've got."

"That one she does win on, yes sir." He couldn't help but laugh and finally followed Forrest back across the room to his desk.

Forrest handed him a PADD and sat down again, motioning for Jon to sit with him. "We have a possible mission for your redeployment, if you're interested in more diplomatic work?"

There wasn't all that much to say in response to that. He'd always wanted to be a diplomat and an explorer, so being sent on diplomatic work again, that was just what he needed. "I serve at the pleasure of Starfleet."

"Then let's get to work." Forrest ordered, and Jon couldn't help but smile at the old standard coming back to them. All through the NX Programme he or Forrest or AG had ordered the team to get to work whenever they were battling a new test or something they couldn't quite overcome easily. Hearing it now reminded him that first Erika and now Forrest were right, he could do this. He'd be ready.


	28. Chapter 28

**Soo, the AN for the last chapter screwed up. Oh well. Here we have **

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Tuesday, week 6**_

_Columbia_ and _Enterprise_ had both needed visits from their COs, and since today was a big day on _Columbia_, Erika had been convinced to go visit his ship too. He'd had a meeting with Forrest this morning, but she'd made him promise to meet her on _Columbia_ at the end of the day. They had agreed to go for dinner and make a plan of action for the next few days or weeks, or however long they wanted to plan for. But she'd wanted to come and get changed before heading to the one thing she needed to do first.

Walking into her quarters though there was a body on the bed, and given the soft snoring she knew it was Jon, and he was probably dealing with the lack of sleep from the night before. She pulled out a change of uniform then smiled, just watching him sleep peacefully for a few more minutes as she changed quietly, then she sat on the bed. "Jonathan, wake up." She said, running her hand through his hair gently.

He reached back and tried to tap her hand away, but she knew that was more a reflex to him being woken up. He loved her playing with his hair, he'd deny it but he did, he always had. "I don't want to." He mumbled a few minutes later, and she took that as a sign she needed to keep playing with his hair.

"You fell asleep in my quarters, weren't you supposed to be on _Enterprise_ today after your meeting?" She asked, continuing to stroke the hair at his temples. Just trying to coax him into being awake, which seemed to be a lot easier said than done. After a few minutes he sat up and ran his hands over his face in a gesture he'd long used to distract her from how he hadn't been awake.

Jon looked at her after a few minutes of waking himself up. "I've been and therefore decided to come visit you here, then I got sleepy." He shrugged and motioned at the bed where he'd been sound asleep.

That was exactly how it had happened she was almost certain. Jon had had a talent at falling asleep wherever he needed to. "So you fell asleep in my quarters?"

"Why not?" He asked, a cheeky grin on his face. She knew there was something playing on his mind when he laid like this. He clearly didn't want to tell her about his meeting yet, but she was sure he'd tell her eventually.

As for why not, well there was one very simple answer, these were her quarters. "Because they are my quarters." She grinned and waved at her pictures all over the wall. It was definitely a good thing that she had taken the time to personalise this room a bit. His ship wasn't that far away, so if he was sleepy why hadn't he gone to his own quarters. She could have found him there. "Your ship is 200 metres across the station, your quarters are there."

Jon looked around, maybe noticing the bed that she had set aside for her cat when they all moved here properly. That was a little way away. Jon moved around the bed then slipped behind her and pulled him back against her. She was aware the door was open still, so she was worried about that. "When are you moving up here permanently?" Jon asked a second later, obviously following her line of thinking.

She hadn't picked a specific date, but she knew roughly when it would be, long after he would have left on _Enterprise_. At least that was her plan right now. "Couple more weeks. Then I'll be here for good." She leant round slightly and she could still see how sleepy he was. "Do I need to take you to bed?" She asked seriously, if he was tired going to bed was probably the best plan, at least for him.

He just shook his head and tried to look more awake. "I had a power nap, I'm good." He confirmed, and it was obvious that he was sleepy, but he was also trying not to be sleepy. She just let him keep trying before he spoke again. "Let's go out for dinner."

"We need to go out for dinner?" She asked seriously with a smile. She hadn't made a single plan for going out tonight, in fact she'd not only been planning to stay on _Columbia_ tonight, she'd been planning to eat on the spacedock.

Jon just looked at her seriously then started kissing her neck and ran his hands up and down her arms. "No, I just want to take you to dinner, especially after last night." She knew where this was going, and she wanted to know exactly how he was going to get her there.

Last night though, they hadn't done anything specific, but they had changed a lot, she knew that. A situation had been clarified and settled, and now she was going to be very ready for the conversation she was going to have eventually. "What happened last night?" She played coy, mostly wanting to annoy him.

He kissed her neck and cheek again, and it was obvious that he was thinking of a way to tease her back too. This situation was something she wished they'd had much more time to do. "Can I start calling you my girlfriend again now?"

"Please god don't." She started, remembering back to the last time they'd dated. Back then Jon hadn't ever called her his 'girlfriend'. He'd always called her his partner, and when it had been a serious situation or when he'd wanted to annoy her he'd call her his wife. She was sure that one would make a comeback before long. But 'girlfriend' sounded so ridiculous. "You didn't call me your girlfriend last time we dated."

"We still need the conversation." He muttered, clearly making himself comfortable again behind her, but she knew she needed to get going soon. She had her own meeting to get too, though thankfully that one was only in Engineering.

"OK but I need to be up here tonight." She agreed, because she really wanted them to finally have this conversation. Now that she was ready to talk about it, she was ready to talk about it now. Continuing to put it off was annoying her now too, not just him. "So let's have dinner in the cafeteria and tomorrow night we'll go out to dinner, in celebration. We'll talk tonight though." She felt she needed to add that. They would talk and they would have settled on their relationship. That was important right now for her.

"Why do you need to be up here?" He asked seriously, and clearly he'd forgotten exactly why she'd needed to be here.

There was something happening, and it's something she was going to be proud of too. "_Columbia_ is getting her reactor installed tonight."

"I never got to see _Enterprise_'s. Can I come?" He asked, and it was clear that he really wanted to see it.

She rolled her eyes, remembering how much he had hated anything like this while he'd been on the NX Programme. "It's a press op, Jon."

"I'll stay on the upper balcony until the press has gone. Please, Erika." He was clearly quite determined to go, not that she was entirely sure why.

He wanted to come and providing he stayed out of the way. "Fine, why not. Just, let me have the press for one cycle Jonathan. I want to be able to show Simon's girls some pictures of me and _Columbia_ in the future." She had been taking regular photo journals since she'd been announced as her Captain, but she wanted them to have press photos too.

Jon patted her thigh where his hand had been resting and grinned. "That'll be nice. I'm sure they'll enjoy having both of us up here."

She rolled her eyes with a sarcastic smirk at that. "You got one of my nieces, Jonathan, let me have Amelia." That was the deal she was going to make. Jon had Carla already idolising him, she was claiming the baby.

He nodded and held his hands up in an innocent pose. "I'll skulk, I'll even be out of uniform. Then dinner. Just please promise me I actually get dinner." There was a hint of begging there that Erika had to laugh at. Of course they were actually going to get dinner.

"Jonathan, I haven't eaten since breakfast, believe me as soon as the reactor is installed we're going to dinner and then we can go to sleep." He pulled a face at her and all she could think to do was sigh at him and shake her head, sometimes he was typically male. "Because not only do we have plans tomorrow afternoon, I have to be up in the morning. My first ten officers are being inducted. There will actually be ten members of my crew." She was proud of the crew she'd already started building, and by the end of the month she'd have all her crew.

He was clearly interested in that. Not that she blamed him. "Ranks?"

"Eight crewmen and two ensigns." Both the ensigns had come from his ship too. Five of the crewmen were too. The other three were from the Republic.

Jonathan smiled then kissed her gently and helping her up. "Impressive. Congratulations Erika Amaralis Hernandez, you're officially a Starship Captain." She was actually glad to finally hear that. She was a Captain.

"Thanks, Jonathan. Out of uniform, upper deck." She ordered him, loving the little amount of superiority she would have on her own ship. When he nodded shyly she stepped up to him and kissed him hard, not really caring that her door was still open. Hardly anyone was aboard Columbia right now anyway. It was only an hour until she could eat, and then they'd talk and this would finally be clarified.


	29. Chapter 29

**Erika really, really loves her ship.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Tuesday, week 6**_

He stood in the background and listened to Erika, and suddenly Jon remembered exactly how good she'd always been with the press. It had been easy to forget that when he'd been seeing her do those every day, and then when he hadn't seen her do them in a while. Right now he loved listening to her, she was so genuine and so completely excited about all of her plans, everything that she and her ship might do.

Listening to her reminded him again how she was what he'd been when he'd taken command, this time though he didn't feel jealous of her for that. He was hopeful that space wouldn't take her innocence in the way it had taken his, or at least maybe he could prepare her for the worst parts of what he'd seen out there. She was the explorer now, he didn't have the stomach for it. He had said as much to Forrest, and he'd say it to anyone else. Right now it was more important that they have a diplomat out there, Erika could be the explorer.

Finally the noise and commotion on the lower deck tailed off, and he heard the journalists and the Admirals leaving, and he looked over the balcony to see Erika alone on the raised platform at one end of the reactor. He couldn't help but just watch her for a few minutes as she ran her hand along the casing. He recognised the movement from something he'd seen Trip do a dozen times or more, but he'd never expected to see Erika doing it. He slid down the ladder at one end of engineering and then leant at the end of the platform.

Erika was still in her own world, and it was obvious that she hadn't even noticed him move from the upper balcony, let alone noticed him joining her here. This was her engine room, he could see that. He was about to interrupt her thoughts when she stroked the edge of the reactor again and whispered quietly. "Hey girl, sorry this was a bit of a baptism of fire, so many people watching our first meeting. I promise you, I'll take some time to get to know you one on one soon."

There was something additionally endearing about that, and about the idea that Erika was going to talk to her ship. But he didn't want to hear something she would rather keep private, so at this point it was probably best he announce his presence. "Talking to your ship?" He said, and was richly rewarded by the jump, and then Erika looked down at him with a smirk.

"Well, she and I need to bond." She waved at the reactor then patted it once more in a clearly already-fond manner. It was amazing to him that she hadn't tried to claim otherwise, but he had no doubt seen her doing stranger things over the years.

As she climbed down on the other side of the platform he was reminded again of everything she'd done in the last half an hour, and he found himself drawn to tell her what he'd been thinking while observing her. "I forgot how amazing you were with the press." He said as they both walked round and met midway along the platform on deck level. "So controlled. They don't get to control your agenda, you control it."

"That may be so." She shrugged and wrapped an arm around his waist, clearly feeling confident nobody was going to walk in on them here, or maybe she didn't care right now, she was still gazing around the engine room with pride, and he knew how she felt, he was probably the same with _Enterprise_ most of the time. "Talking to the press is still not my preferred thing to do." She finished her last thought and caused him to just smile wider.

"You'd never know that watching you." He commented. Erika really did seem like a natural in front of the cameras. Maybe that was why she had been such a good spokesman. She had just had a quality that would never have been able to be taught. He and AG had bungled the press often enough over the years.

Erika, clearly, wanted to move on from thinking about the press and her ability with them, instead looked at him seriously and gripped his side with a smile. "What did you think?"

That felt like a loaded question. What had he thought of her press conference and photo-op? That it had gone well and she had proven again why Starfleet needed people like her. What had he thought of the ceremony? It had been small, quiet. Not at all what he'd been expecting. He'd been expecting speeches and applause, not two Admirals, Erika and six reporters. "It was more low key than I expected."

"She's the second ship, Jonathan. There isn't as much fanfare as there was for _Enterprise_." OK she had a point there. _Columbia_ wasn't blazing the trail, she wasn't the first or the only. That was a downer though, if he had his way he would have made sure that all the ships were greeted and treated as if they were royalty.

None of that detracted from what she was though, and that was a truly fantastic ship, and she was going to be special. He knew that. She would do what Enterprise had never managed to do. "_Columbia_'s a beautiful ship."

"She's going to cause me trouble, I can already tell. We'll get through it all together." Erika's optimism reminded him again of why she would be the explorer. She was always sure there was going to be something better out there.

The combined pride and excitement in her voice reminded him a little of when he'd spoken to her father about how she was the best in the fleet at what she did. "You sound like a proud parent."

"I am in a way. I've always thought of the ships as being a labour of love for the NX officers. I was always proud for _Enterprise_ too, and for you." She muttered the last while reaching up and running her fingers through the hair on the back of his neck.

He looked down at her again and noticed she was once again studying her new engine with great interest. "Want me to leave you alone to get to know your ship?"

Erika shook her head vigorously and started walking toward the main door to Engineering, which he took to mean she would let him eat soon. "No, I promised you dinner, she and I will have plenty of time to bond in the coming weeks while I recruit my own engineers."

"This is true. See you later _Columbia_." He patted one of the closest bulkheads, and tried not to sound as sarcastic as he felt.

She slapped him on the arm, and he had to admit he deserved it. "No need to mock me you know. You talk to your food." That was a good point. He'd spoken to his food since long before he'd been made a captain though. That was a part of him that had always been there.

So between the two of them they held conversations with a lot of strange things. "I'm not sure which is weirder, on balance."

"You can be sure I don't know. Come on, the cafeteria should still be open." Erika pushed him a little ahead of her, and after he'd taken a few steps he realised she wasn't following. When he turned round he realised that she hadn't come away from engineering. He took a few steps back then wrapped his arms around her after making sure there was nobody there to see them.

"You'll be back in a few hours." He whispered against her ear, smiling again when she nodded. Erika was head-over-heels for her ship, and Jon was so proud that they had been brought together. While Forrest and the others had all clearly thought he was for AG getting this ship, he couldn't have imagined anyone looking at a ship the way Erika was looking at _Columbia_'s reactor. It was a perfect fit.


	30. Chapter 30

**The time comes for Jon to _finally _have that talk with her.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Tuesday, week 6**_

They had managed to avoid any lingering press as they _escaped_ Columbia and found their way to the Starfleet cafeteria. Erika preferred this area to the public one the other side of the wall. The officers here were more used to seeing senior officers. Even in here Jon was getting a few looks from the officers. At least none of them tried to come up to them, not something they could guarantee with the general public. Jon clearly still noticed a few, and she couldn't blame him for being wary of the attention. "Do you really think here was the best place to have this conversation?"

While she understood, there wasn't all that much she could think of another place for them to eat given the state of their ships and they both wanted to have a conversation tonight. "Neither of our ships mess halls are functioning yet, and we wanted to have this conversation tonight."

"I know we did it just doesn't feel very private." He nodded in the direction of the officers around them, more than half of whom were shooting the two captains furtive glances. She had to admit that there was no privacy here, and there were only a couple of things she could think of for them to do.

"Do you want to go back to my quarters or your quarters or wherever and talk?" That was the only place she could think of going, because at least they would be able to eat quietly and have the conversation they both needed.

"Might be an idea. We can at least box our food to go. _Enterprise_?" He asked, and she wasn't sure how much of a choice they actually had. There were so many considerations they had to think about.

"Probably the better idea the power systems are being worked on on _Columbia_." She shut her box up but before she could pick it up Jon stacked it on top of his and started leading back to his ship. Again, possibly easier to avoid any stray reporters too. Most of them would have been on the station for the night, so it was better for them to avoid it all if possible. _Columbia_, minus restricted areas, was open to the press for the next 24 hours.

She wasn't really thinking where she was going, just following Jon's footsteps and letting junior officers duck around her rather than the opposite happening. There were some perks of rank that she enjoyed. A few minutes later Jon stepped through the door to his quarters and motioned for her to go before him. She tried to think of an obvious way to start the conversation, and Jon seemed to notice that. "Erika you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I know"

"Look, Jon. Let me get this out because otherwise I'll lose all nerve and it won't be said." That was always her problem, she'd let him help her put it off and then months would pass and they'd never have this conversation, but she knew they both needed to know where they stood. "I told you last night that the reason I was pausing on this was to do with not knowing for certain you felt the same for me and that was the reason, but now I'm sure." That was an overstatement, in this situation nothing was certain or sure. "Well I'm not sure but I'm willing to give this a shot because the simple fact is there is nobody in the universe I care about more than you."

Jon tried to stop her again, but she was on a roll and not really ready to be stopped. She didn't want to be stopped either. She needed to say it. "You really should slow-" He continued trying, and she continued ignoring him. At some point during her word vomit he'd put their dinner boxes down, but she'd missed exactly when.

"Like I said, lets just amend the climbers code to being something between the two of us, our crews if necessary. I just want us to be happy and that's exactly what I wanted, the whole time we were apart, I just wanted us to be together. So now that we've made this decision-" She was shocked into stopping when Jon pulled her against his chest and kissed her hard. It wasn't what she'd been expecting, but it definitely stopped her from carrying on.

When he stepped back he just smirked, and she knew that he was somewhat proud of himself for shocking her into silence. He just stared at her for a few moments then shrugged when she didn't try to speak again. "I couldn't think of another way to stop you. I think you're right."

Wait, what? She was right. That wasn't something she heard in her personal life very often. "Really?" She asked, hoping that covered both her disbelief and what she was right about, because she really wanted answers to both.

"Yeah." He took hold of both of her hands and was clearly trying to will his calm into her. That might be what she needed, because her mind wasn't slowing down at all, and she was really the opposite of 'calm'. "We still have some time before I leave if you want to make sure you've made the right decision."

She took a few deep breaths and shook her head. While she was managing to run at a mile a minute in her head, now her mind was made up that was it. "No. I know I've made the right decision. I knew weeks ago I just didn't want to admit it. I love you, Jonathan Archer."

"It's so very nice to hear you say that." Jon grinned and tugged her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around him and took a minute to just settle her mind down. There was an agreement, and it was clear and obvious, that was what she needed. Jon's calm did finally seem like it was seeping into her, and she felt better for it.

While they'd seen each other a few times today, she hadn't asked him about his meeting with Forrest. She knew it had gone well since Jon hadn't been suspended. "So, you managed to have a good meeting with our boss?"

"We talked about you too. He knows we're back together." He teased, and she couldn't help but shake her head. Of course Jon had told him that they were together before they were officially back together, hadn't she told him last night that she wanted to be with him. It felt like she had.

But Forrest had always been quite calm about his officers dating. It was probably a bit more of a problem with them being Captains, but he was probably still sure that they wouldn't let it interfere. They never had before. "I'm not surprised, I think he's glad in his own way. He wanted us both to be happy. As long as it doesn't interfere with our work he'll happily ignore it."

"That's good to know." Was Jon's only comment, and somehow that didn't surprise him at all. Maybe he'd figured the same thing about Forrest.

Erika pulled back finally and looked up at him again with a smile. She had other things she could think about that would make all of this seem like it was just another detail in their lives. "You know what else I'm happy about?"

Jon looked at her seriously and smiled back, realising she was actually happy. "What?"

"That it means I don't have to worry about losing you again."

Jon once again let out a breath and then held her tighter and chuckled. Maybe he was as comfortable and happy with that development as she was. "Not a chance, you're stuck with me now."

"I wouldn't want it any other way. We're going back down to Earth tomorrow?" He asked, and she just rolled her eyes. She'd told him a half dozen times that they were spoken for tomorrow. For a good reason too, they needed to look after her favourite god-daughter. Well, her only god-daughter.

"Yeah, I promised Ruby we'd look after the baby for a while." She took a breath and smiled, already certain that it would all go well. Jon, however stepped back and frowned.

He clearly wasn't happy about that, he had put up some resistance at first but she knew that he needed to meet the baby, no matter how much he complained. "Erika." He smiled at her again and tried to give her his sad puppy eyes, something he always tried when he wanted to get out of something. It never worked.

"That's not going to work, Jon. It's something we're going to do." She was going to keep pushing it on him, because she was certain this would matter and he would hopefully heal from more of his wounds with her help, and this was just one way to start.

He sighed eventually and stepped back in front of her with a grin. "I'm not going to succeed arguing right now, am I?"

"Not at all." She whispered, and he wrapped his arm around her, now they had made their decision she was happy and comfortable. For the last several weeks they'd been building up to this point, to this moment where they could say that they had their situation all figured out and they knew what they were going to do. They still had a while before _Enterprise_ was due to launch again, that was just time to make sure they'd made the right decision.


	31. Chapter 31

**Babysitting little Andrea Grace Robinson. Because I will never, ever, EVER be over A.G. Robinson's death.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Wednesday, week 6**_

Jon hadn't been sure about this when Erika had suggested it. Something that hadn't seemed like such a great idea when he'd first gotten home didn't seem like such a great idea six weeks on, but Erika had promised Ruby that she would help out with the baby one evening, and considering how much time he and Erika were spending together, it had just been assumed that Jon would so with her. While Erika had been confident in her decision, he still wasn't. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, Jonathan." Erika replied, using a tone he often thought of as her 'patient schoolteacher' voice. He would never tell her he called it that though. "Ruby wants you to meet her, and I think you need to." That was something else they'd argued about. Jon hadn't really gotten over AG's death, he was sure he wasn't the only one, but most of their friends had been together. He and Trip had been 150 light years away when they'd gotten the news, and Jon had closed himself off. Meeting AG's daughter seemed unfair in his mind.

But most of all, he didn't know how he would feel about being reminded of his friend so strongly. "I'm not sure I'm ready, Rike." He tried to reason, taking her hand as they walked along the path up to the 602 club, which Ruby lived above.

Apparently, Erika didn't like that reason, and he couldn't entirely blame her. "Screw being ready." He tugged her hand a second, wanting her to explain what she meant by that. More so he knew that there was a reason for how annoyed she'd sounded. "You're basically going to be one of the only male role models in her life who actually knew her father." She told him, and he had to admit maybe she had a point.

She had said 'one of' though, which left him asking one of his usual questions. "Who are the others?"

"Forrest, Sam and Rob." In other words, the other members of the NX Programme. Which maybe wasn't all that surprising. Jon knew that AG had never known his father, and AG's mother had always been single. So he was going to be important in the baby's life. "Forrest and I are Andrea's godparents, you would have been too had _Enterprise_ been here when she was christened but you were in the Expanse." Andrea Grace, A.G., that's what she was called. He remembered suddenly.

"I'm sorry." He apologised, despite knowing he really didn't need to, and he didn't need to be sorry. He was though, given that they had all lost AG.

Erika obviously agreed that he didn't need to be sorry, as she just shook her head and tugged him to the bottom of the steps up to the apartment. "Don't be, you were where you needed to be and Ruby's had all of us." That was the long and short of it. She had had all the support she needed from the other members of the NX team, she hadn't needed him specifically. "Now though you need to start bonding with Andrea. You're going to be around Earth more often now so you'll be able to see her grow up."

"You're right." Jon let that sink in then knocked on the door, smiling as a second later the flame-haired landlord opened the door, carrying her little girl, who was already in her pyjamas which had a starship design on them, Jon recognised that already, and he was certain he'd seen it before on Carla when she'd been a baby. "Hi Ruby."

Ruby seemed to have been thinking along the same lines as him at first, then she smiled widely. Jon smiled even more as he realised the baby was reaching for Erika who was quite happy to take her. "Hey Jonathan. Erika are you sure about this?" Ruby addressed the question to Erika as they both tugged Jon through the doorway, not giving him the chance to escape. Almost certainly what was needed, because he had considered leaving Erika alone.

"Go, you need time out." Erika continued cajoling Ruby, and Jon just stood quietly, avoiding looking too uncomfortable. He was being studied by the baby, but it was obvious that Andrea was only comfortable because her mother and someone she knew were both there. Jon doubted she'd stay so quiet if left alone with him.

Ruby obviously noticed, and then rubbed Andrea's back with a smile. "She's cranky today."

"Just like Jonathan." Erika teased, and looked over her shoulder at him.

"Have you got something planned to do?" He asked, finally finding his voice again. There was no reason for him to be so cranky. He was giving the nine month old a run for her money and he was sure Erika wouldn't let him forget that.

"Nina has been in the bar for twenty minutes, we're going to a spa." Jon vaguely remembered Ruby's friend who worked on the bar, but it didn't matter. He was glad either way that his friend was going to take a break from her daughter. Full time parenting must be hard.

Erika seemed to agree with him, at least it appeared that way when she spoke. "Have fun, you deserve it."

Ruby turned back to the door after kissing Andrea on the cheek then smiled. "Behave for Aunty Erika and Uncle Jon. Call me if you need anything." Ruby's final instruction seemed to be far more an order than almost anything Jon had heard in a while but he didn't mind.

He watched Erika carrying Andrea around and wondered how she had become this comfortable with children. She'd never been great with them, and he was fairly sure that she had been certain all children hated her. She seemed comfortable with Andrea, and that made him think that maybe he saw the baby a lot. "How often do you do this?"

"Not that often, but I'm here a lot so Andrea is used to me, aren't you Andy?" Erika addressed the last few words to the baby, who was still looking at him with a lot of suspicion. He wondered if the baby was trying to figure him out.

Whatever way that happened, it seemed she wasn't very interested in him, and she definitely didn't seem to like him at all. "She doesn't seem to like me very much."

"She just doesn't know you. Sit down on the floor and let her explore around you, she'll be fine. That's how Ruby had to get her used to Veronica."

He sat down on the floor as Erika put the baby on the floor. He and Andrea just looked at each other for a minute, then Andrea looked back at Erika and started to whimper, holding her hands to be picked up again. "Hey Andrea. Don't cry." He tried, but that just made the baby cry even more. He looked to Erika for someone to save him, because he wasn't going to be able to get the baby to stop on his own.

Eventually Erika got on the floor with them and pulled a photo album and opened it to a certain page, Jon didn't see which one but almost immediately Andrea started calming down, pointing at the pictures. "Andy, shush. It's OK. Look, it's Uncle Jon."

"You show her pictures?" He asked, unable to believe that his pictures and AG's pictures were something anyone in his life would try showing someone else. So knowing that Erika and Ruby had shown his pictures was blowing his mind enough.

"Of you and AG, yeah. Ruby wanted you both to be part of Andy's routine. AG for obvious reasons and you because you were one of AG's best friends, one of her friends too." He smiled and scooted a little closer. This time Andrea seemed to be looking between him and the pictures.

He smiled again though, and leant down so she was closer to the pictures. "She knows the picture at least."

"See, Andy. It's Uncle Jon. There you go." She let go of Andrea, who this time didn't start crying, but just looked around.

He smiled as Erika lifted herself onto the sofa, making Andrea crawl around a little more and not immediately reaching back for safety. He looked to Andrea again and he couldn't stop thinking about how much she looked just like AG. "She looks just like him Rike."

"I know, he'd be so proud. He was so excited you know? He called me in tears the day he and Ruby found out about her." Erika's watery smile was what reminded him that he'd been away through all of this and had missed it all, everything other than what he exchanged in letters.

That didn't surprise him, while AG had always played it coy, Jon had always known he wanted a family. "He would have made a great dad. Do you miss your dad, Miss Robinson?" He asked as Andrea clearly felt adventurous enough to crawl on him. It may have taken a while, and an intervention from Erika, but at least Andrea had warmed to him a little.

It seemed his question had an effect on the only other person in the room, and when he looked up to where Erika was sat on the sofa he saw the tears in her eyes. "I don't know if she does, but I definitely do." Erika muttered then slid onto the floor next to him again. He wrapped his arm around her and tried to think of something less sad, or at least find the happiness in the fact that AG's little girl was safe and happy, and Erika was right, he had needed to meet her, and start getting to know her. It was important that he do that, and that he tell her stories when she was old enough.


	32. Chapter 32

**Erika and Veronica face staffing issues... and gossip.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Wednesday, week 6**_

Her office had been slowly overtaken by the PADDs containing the profiles of all the officers she'd looked at to staff her ship, which was basically everyone in Starfleet. The discard pile was, finally, shorter than the applicant pile. Half of that was that Erika had convinced an old friend to come aboard as CMO. Someone who already knew Erika's medical history, meaning she wouldn't have to train someone new. Right now she and Veronica were running through the piloting candidates. While Veronica was a pilot, and they'd already recruited a senior pilot from Enterprise. Erika wanted one more for back up. "What about this one?" Veronica said, holding a PADD out.

Erika only needed a quick cursory look to know that the girl whos details were on that PADD would not be joining _Columbia_, this one was by her own choice, however. She had commitments and wanted to stay planetside. "No she's the one who said she didn't want a long term posting."

"The one who just got married?" Veronica's memory seemed to be jogged, and she nodded a few times as she shifted about the files and PADDs of a few of the others. That's when one came to her attention, one of the most confident at interview who had also had a good piloting record.

That was the one she next picked up and handed to Veronica. While she didn't technically need her XO's vote on who joined the crew, Erika liked having someone to bounce the ideas off who was as invested as she was. Jon listened, but this wasn't going to be his crew, so he ended up indifferent. "I'm liking the look of Brynn Maelia to share piloting duties with Reiko Akagi."

Veronica's face made it obvious she wasn't connecting to the name. Maybe not completely surprising given the situation. They must have gone through a hundred names by this point. "The blond?" She asked after a few minutes, and Erika looked at the PADD again, scrolling until there was a picture.

"I think so. Yeah." She motioned again at the PADD, then took a chunk of muffin from the one that was open in the middle of the table. The two of them on their third muffin. Erika just kept shouting for someone to bring them one and they appeared as if by magic. She wondered if it would work with beer.

While she pondered that existential question, Veronica perused Maelia's file again then nodded, handing the PADD back. "He's a good shout, definitely. I could sign off on him."

She looked again at the pile and put Maelia's on top of the four PADDs of senior officers she's already accepted. It finally felt like they were making progress. "OK. He goes on the accepted pile and the rest go on the rejection pile. Next up is tactical." She pulled the next pile into the middle, this one considerably shorter having already been vetted. There were about thirty names there, but only three were really up for consideration.

Veronica sat back though, taking her own bit of muffin and looked at Erika seriously. "Do you find it amusing that we're filling in piloting, tactical and science before communications and engineering despite the fact they are the two we need?" it was half a question and half commentary, but Erika didn't really know how to explain it other than the truth of what she'd been told. That this was the best way to hire engineers. Communications was a different matter entirely.

"It's something you're taught when you hit the big chair. On a new ship the engineer is the last one you want to hire, because engineers like things done their way and the ship needs to be completed first." Erika had seen that happen with other ships in other situations, and it had never ended well for those involved. Normally it had just ended up with hurt feelings and anger. She was going to hold off on an engineer as long as she possibly could. She still had a couple of months until they were due to launch.

Veronica seemed to grasp the logic of that decision too. "So you want to get the ship completed before you hire a chief engineer."

"Exactly." She grinned then waved a hand to a pile on the floor that she had ignored. One arguably bigger than any of the ones still on her desk. "I have my eye on a couple, but I'm keeping the names to myself for now. Communications could be solved next week, I'm going meeting someone." She didn't want to jinx it by saying something, it was bad juju to say she'd gotten her only choice before the meeting.

Veronica just shrugged after a second and smiled. "Good, that stops me worrying about that. I like that MACO for tactical."

She only had to think a moment before she realised who Veronica meant. It didn't matter how qualified the MACOs were, she just couldn't imagine having the military on her bridge every day. She was already nervous about working so closely with them. "You know, Jon suggested a MACO for tactical too. I'm not against having the military on the ship, but I don't think I want one on the bridge."

"I would have thought the bridge was the perfect place to have the military, especially if the ship was boarded." That was a good question, and one Erika didn't have an answer for. She knew they would be helpful in a combat situation, but hopefully she wouldn't see many of them.

"I don't mind them being stationed there in combat, but I want Starfleet tacticians on my bridge." No matter how she thought about it, she wasn't going to have a mixed crew at the command level. It just wasn't what she wanted, and there was no reason she needed to either. "I'm not a politician I don't need to think of my ship as being a bipartisan venture between Starfleet and the military."

"Who do you like then?" Veronica asked seriously, and Erika picked up the top three PADDs from the stack and handing them to her XO one by one.

"I have three of Jon's suggestions here, once I told him military was out of the question. Robertson, Khorey and Thayer." She'd never paid much attention to what made a good tactician, she only knew what made a good officer.

Veronica, at least, seemed to remember the interviews with these three. She didn't, at least not in detail. When her memory was jogged she'd remember the details. "Khorey, that girl who spoke a mile a minute."

"Yeah, she was an odd choice but Jon rated her and Captain Wetherington over on Manchuria said she was a great asset." That was both a mark in favour and a mark against Khorey. Erika wasn't about to poach the best officers from another ship unless there was no promotion opportunity. Khorey would be the senior in a few months, no point pulling her away. One officer had stood out in the interviews though, and Erika felt she was the best bet. "I liked the read I got from Thayer."

"The Canadian? I liked her. Tough, no-nonsense. Looked like she'd kill your cat if it was in a restricted area." Well, Erika was pretty sure almost everyone in Starfleet would kill her cat if given half the chance, including her.

Erika nodded once more and put the PADD on top of Maelia's, they'd gotten two down today, only one more left to staff before they could take a break. "I'm happy to put her on the shortlist for Tactical." She added, and marked down on her private PADD the name. Her crew was coming together, she had half her positions filled.

It seemed like her friend had been waiting for an opportunity to push for gossip. It wasn't a surprising move, but Erika still felt annoyed at herself that she didn't see it coming. "Speaking of Jon and his suggestions, the two of you made a decision yet." There had been nothing said about Jon. She wasn't questioning it.

"Yes, and no, mostly yes." She was the only tiny bit of no, and that was tiny.

As usual, Veronica understood far more than she was told. It was actually scary how she could do that. "In other words you have and you're talking yourself out of it because you're afraid."

"You officially know me too well, Ron. We're going to do it. I jumped in, both feet and all that old nonsense."

"Good, you two are good together, always have been." Veronica's smirk would have put AG's to shame had he known the two of them were together again. They'd all pushed for them to break the rules. "Want to tell me how you made this miraculous decision?"

"He was awake in the middle of the night on Sunday, I think it was, and he kept asking me why I was there and I couldn't give him an answer other than that he needed me and I needed him. It's pathetic in the extreme but, it's given us a starting point."

She wasn't sure what in her statement Veronica had been unclear on, but she looked at Erika with a smirk and shook her head slowly. "Erika your starting point came fourteen years ago." She was about to butt in when Veronica held a hand up and continued her thought. "The last few years were a wobble, nothing more."

"Yeah. But we have a thing now, anyway. We should get back to this, who did you like for science?" She brought it back to the pile of PADDs on her desk, knowing they needed to get through them as soon as possible. She just wanted them now to do the work, because since she and Jon had made their minds up it was hard enough for her to focus, and they needed to get _Columbia_ staffed.


	33. Chapter 33

**Jon and Veronica talk about Jon's worries.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Friday, week 6**_

He'd been stalking through Starfleet command for most of the morning, he'd managed to find himself involved in three pick-up meetings while people were trying to find their offices and he'd almost managed to successfully avoid anyone who might have wanted him to do anything for them. There were still a lot of people asking him to help them do something for them or their crews, and he wasn't sure he wanted to do anything. It was mid-afternoon before he realised that while Erika had taken the day to go and check on _Columbia_ again, another one of his old friends would still be here, and she'd be able to both tell him the information he was interested in and tell him to stop being an idiot, both at the same time. So he went to Erika's office and sure enough, Veronica Fletcher was sat behind the desk. It had been a couple weeks since they'd last sat outside swearing and mocking the recruits, and he'd missed the fun she could bring to his life. "Hey." He said while rapping on the door with his knuckles.

Veronica looked up and smirked, and for some reason there was an instant of terror at that smile. Probably the years of this woman being his partners best friend. "Hey space hero, didn't expect to see you still slumming it around these parts." Bad movie dialogue was something he really needed to start expecting more when he spoke to Veronica. She always had something.

This one he didn't get immediately, which told him either he needed to watch more of Trip's movies or Veronica was really bad at quoting them. "Which bad movie did you watch this time?"

"Honestly I don't remember." She shrugged then stood up and gave him a friendly hug. Clapping his back and laughing a little. That told him that Erika had told her everything they had spoken about over the last few days. She was obviously not commenting on it though, something he was infinitely grateful for right now. "What can I for you do?"

"I was coming by to ask about ship staffing options. Erika said you were in charge of a lot of it?" That wasn't exactly true. He just knew that Erika would trust Veronica to make good choices, while he had never really trusted anyone else to pick his crew. He'd been very specific and strict in what he'd wanted.

"Yeah, until we get our senior staff in place, at least the ones who accept our offers first time." He couldn't imagine many people would turn down a position on either of the NX ships. He hadn't gotten a single rejection when he'd been staffing _Enterprise_, though there had been a different atmosphere back then. Starfleet and Earth had been attacked since then. People were a little more careful now. "Erika went to see her choice for comms today, and she convinced an old doctor from the NX programme to come along with us." She continued and smiled, as far as Jon could remembered there had only been one or two doctors Erika had ever wanted to see on the NX Programme, and he couldn't imagine either of them wanting to serve space-side, but he'd try to guess anyway.

"Greene?" Picked only because he couldn't remember the other woman's name. He would no doubt be corrected and wouldn't have to admit that he actually had no earthly idea who Erika would pick.

"No. Metzger. Apparently she knows the ins and outs of Erika's medical history." Now the name was mentioned he could picture her perfectly, in her early 60s, steel haired and had never really liked him very much. He had always seen one of the others for that very reason.

"Yeah, I remember her. Got others hired?" He wasn't going to talk about Metzger for longer than he had to. Asking about the other staff would give him an option to actually give some real suggestions on the officers.

Veronica picked up one of the PADDs and clearly double checked her information on them. She'd get better at knowing the officers from the top of her head between now and when they launched, he was sure. That was always the hardest part of taking command. "We have our two senior pilots, one we're getting from you, the other we're getting from the _Green Bay_. We're still stuck between two for science."

Science was one of the few places he had a strong opinion, one he had made to Erika more than once. His original choice for science had been bumped when Starfleet had gone over his head and assigned T'Pol, but he was still interesting in serving space-side, and he would no doubt fit in with _Columbia_'s officers maybe more than he would have on _Enterprise_. "You should take El-Rashad. I think he's still pissed at me for the bait-and-switch command pulled on me when they swapped him for T'Pol when _Enterprise_ launched."

"Hey, the three year gap gave him and his wife time to have another kid." Veronica grinned and Jon just stared at her for a second, not sure how she had known that piece of information to begin with. Obviously his face gave him away and she shrugged. "I did my training with him. He's one of our choices." That was a relief. He would have hated to hear Kalil was out of the running.

"Good, I'd hate for him to be completely overlooked." Veronica was clearly concerned about something, and Jon didn't like that she didn't feel like she could say something to him. It wouldn't even really matter the information, since he had probably talked about everything with Erika already. "Spit it out, Commander. That's an order."

Veronica took a deep breath then looked at him seriously. "Erika's refusing to hire a chief until _Columbia_ is finished."

"Probably a good move." He chuckled, finding it quite cute that that was what Veronica had gotten herself worked up about. It wasn't as if the ship had a shortage of engineers without a chief. "Command level officers are told about how territorial engineers can get."

She looked at him with a judgmental look and he almost laughed harder at that. "Did that stop you?"

"I hired Trip before _Enterprise_ was even a space frame and before I was even a captain. But he was also involved in the construction from the beginning." Trip had been involved in the NX class development for as long as he had been. Picking him for chief engineer had been a no brainer. There was nobody Erika had that level of trust with on the engineering staff now. He knew that. So she was doing the sensible thing waiting. "Unless Erika is looking to recruit from within Captain Jeffries' engineering squads I doubt anyone could say that."

"You make a good point captain." Veronica said then sat down again. Clearly the demands at this point before launching had her exhausted, and he wasn't surprised. It was a busy time.

"Thank you. So, the staffing is going well?" He might as well get the bullet point single answer.

Veronica nodded, motioning to the one small stack of PADDs on the desk that he assumed were the successful applicants and choices. "Other than engineering and science we're about done. You know I feel like this whole conversation has been a long segue." She remembered to read him as well as he remembered to read her. That was a point in her favour, and she was right. "What's on your mind Jon?"

If she could read him this well after not speaking for years, he was sure she'd know exactly what Erika was thinking without her ever having to ask. He could get the information he needed from her, he was sure. "If anyone knows what Erika's thinking it's you."

"Stop overthinking, Jon." He was cut off before he could ask a single question, and he couldn't even blame her for cutting him off. He deserved it and she was right. "She's happy. With you, with _Columbia_, even with my by some measure of a miracle."

"How did you know that's what I was doing?" Erika he could understand, and he could understand her knowing to a point, but to know exactly what was bothering him seemed far fetched.

She just studied him for a minute then sat forward. "Because I've known you and her both together and separately for almost a decade. You always over-thought things if you were worried you'd pushed her into a decision."

That was the point right now, he had pushed her hadn't he. Erika had been thinking, getting closer to telling him. Then he'd managed to almost self-destruct and a day later she'd been telling him everything that he'd wanted to hear. "I think I did push her this time."

Veronica rolled her eyes and scoffed, making it obvious that she wasn't buying his theory. "After, what, six weeks of her making up her mind? You didn't push her, you know better than anyone that it's not possible to make Erika do anything she doesn't want to do."

"You're right." He uttered, one of his least common phrases.

"Of course I am."

He took the opportunity to sit back and remember what he and Veronica had spoken about a couple of weeks earlier. She'd been seeing someone, convinced it wasn't going anywhere. "How are you? Still seeing that programmer from Jupiter Station?"

"Sandy? No that's long over." Well, that was expected. Veronica had always preferred her single lifestyle than most of the others. "I'm back to my single ways. Given that _Columbia_ will be leaving dock in a few weeks that's probably for the best." He had to remember that in just a few weeks, _Enterprise_ wasn't going to be the only exploratory ship, and the two crews were all likely to be leaving relationships behind.

He would have thought Veronica would try if she wanted to though, long distance or not. "Don't think long distance relationships can work?"

"Oh they can work, I just don't have the patience or emotional connection to make one work." That also made sense. It would take a lot of dedication to be able to give up so much for someone else. "I'd have to meet someone damn special to go through with it."

"Maybe one day." He grinned, already sure that it wouldn't ever be a thing for Veronica. She would never want to compromise herself that way. He could still read her too.

She sat forward and nudged his arm playfully and grinned. "Maybe, you already met yours."

"Yeah, I did." He had. He was willing to put anything on the line for Erika, and for them right now a long-distance thing would work much better, they needed to adjust to being Captains and being in a relationship. While they were both still on Earth he had ideas, and he wanted to do something special for her, just because he could. "I actually wanted to plan something for her this weekend. Care to help?"

"Fancy going getting a hot dog and planning?" Veronica suggested, and he shot back to the NX Programme, when that was the average planning session food.

"Best offer I've gotten all afternoon." He grinned and held his hand out for Veronica to precede him. If she could help him plan the perfect surprise for Erika he'd be grateful. He knew that his time on Earth was coming to an end in the next two weeks, and he wanted to do as many fun things with Erika before he had to leave. At least he already had ideas.


	34. Chapter 34

**A special treat out for Erika.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Saturday, week 6**_

He had handed her the blindfold as soon as they'd left her apartment, and he'd immediately come beside her and made sure the she was fine and not falling over anything. She hated that she'd agreed to wear the thing, but she did trust Jonathan and she was sure that he wouldn't try anything she'd absolutely hate. He knew her better than that. It was still amusing her that they had walked a way from her place with the blindfold on, and so far nobody had worried about her safety. "Jonathan you know, if the wrong person saw us right now they'd think I was being kidnapped."

He stopped for a second and she stopped right along with him, not really relishing the idea of trying to walk on without any assistance. "I didn't factor that into my plans." He eventually laughed into her ear, and she found herself laughing along with him. Of course he would plan something that necessitated her wearing a blindfold and not think about the appearances. "Hopefully the lack of screaming and attempting to escape would convince people you're fine." He reasoned after a few seconds, and she had to admit he had a point.

"You may have a point." While that was true, she still wasn't going to be happy playing along very much longer. She hated being in this position. "How much farther?"

"Not far at all. Actually just around the corner." He helped her up onto the curb and then carried on along the next street. She no longer had any idea where she was. For the first few turns she'd kept track, but now she had no idea. "Be careful there is a curb here." He helped her down again and she tried to think where he could be taking her.

She had made it all this way without asking him, but now she was fed up and not at all enjoying being kept in the dark, both literally and figuratively. "Jonathan Beckett Archer where are you taking me?" She demanded, a little more forcefully than the last time she'd tried to ask.

He leant forward and whispered into her ear. "It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises." She replied a little grumpily. She really hated surprises, she always had. She had been the only child in school had hated her school parties because she never knew what would happen. Surprises had never worked out very well for her, no matter how she tried.

Jon squeezed her shoulders and started slowing her to a stop. "You'll like this one. I promise." That made her feel a little more confident. How much more she didn't know, but he did know her well enough at least to have decided on something that wouldn't make her annoyed at him.

"I better, otherwise you'll be making friends with your hand for the rest of the weekend." She threatened, knowing that no matter where they were he was going to end up far more embarrassed about that statement than she would be. Most people didn't know who she was, not like they did with him.

"We are in public, Rike." He replied, and she heard the blush.

"Like I care, you have me blindfolded and we're out of uniform." She wouldn't have said something like that if they had been in uniform. It would have been a whole new level of unprofessionalism and she wasn't eager to hit that level. She was already pretty high up there.

"The 'uniform' bit wasn't what was concerning me." He squeezed her shoulders once more then moved away, she didn't like that feeling, especially not while she still had his damn blindfold on. "OK. We're here."

She wasn't sure what that meant. Could she drop the blindfold, or was there something else Jon wanted to do first. She really hopped the idiot hadn't gotten it into his mind to propose. They were not there yet. "I can look."

"Yeah. Please." There was a hint of urgency in his voice, and she wondered what on Earth they were doing.

"Oh, Jonathan." She muttered, taking a few steps forward after dropping the blindfold. They were outside one of the newer climbing walls that had been opened, and she'd never managed to make time to get here, and on the very few occasions she'd taken a break she'd been too tired to do anything.

Today she certainly wasn't too tired, and she would have Jon to climb with. So it was good. "We're booked on the tallest wall for a couple of hours, then home and out for dinner tonight."

"Why have you gone to all this effort?" She asked, not concerned or worried, but a little curious about his decision to do this. They had been spending all this time together but they both knew Enterprise was due to launch again soon.

"Because I know I'll be leaving again soon." Jon had actually been mentioning that a lot more recently. He seemed both excited for Enterprise to be leaving again, but also extremely worried and maybe a little afraid about what would happen when they did leave. "We deserve to celebrate all we've accomplished together."

"You didn't have to do all this." She waved forward then back toward her apartment. She was worried that he'd maybe put too much into this.

"I know, I wanted to." Jon's smile reminded her that he wouldn't do anything he didn't want, and he was probably in as great a need of this. "Now come on, I'm going to beat you to the top."

That got her competitive hackles raised, and she was not going to let an opportunity like this go begging. It would be a nice relaxing afternoon for them too. "Like hell you are. I'm a faster climber than you I'm just smaller."

"That comes in handy." He commented, readjusting the backpack that she now assumed was carrying changes of clothes.

That was pushing it a little too far. She'd need to climb three times faster than usual just to wipe that smirk off his face. They were both far too competitive sometimes. "Jonathan!"

"Come on shorty!" He teased and started jogging off in the direction of the main desk. It took her a second to realise what he'd said and react.

"I won't have a problem beating you!" She shouted after him and ran as fast as she could to catch up. This was so typically him, making a big display of affection and then teasing her to make it into a competition. Not that she was going to stop him doing that. It made him feel good and she enjoyed doing it too. It was also yet another memory they would have of these few weeks together before they were both the only deep space Captains.


	35. Chapter 35

**Jon realising that his time on Earth and with Erika is nearly up, giving him a confidence crisis.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Saturday, week 6**_

Jon had been glad his plan had come together as well as it had, largely thanks to Veronica's input. He might have teased Erika a little too hard about her height, and she had soundly beaten him three or four times on the climbing wall. That was all his own fault too, because he'd known she was a faster climber than him, she'd needed to be to keep up. Dinner had been an easy affair, and he'd enjoyed retelling a few of the more colourful stories from before the Expanse. Now they were walking home and he was realising that in a week he and _Enterprise_ would have left. He was still focusing on that when Erika's hand slipped into his and her light, lilting voice brought him back to the moment. "Thank you for today."

He smiled and squeezed her hand, not sure what to say. Today had been as much for him as it had been for her, and he had enjoyed himself immensely. "You're welcome. Today has been fun." He truly meant that and he hoped that she had had as much fun as he had.

It seemed so when she laughed loudly and squeezed his hand back. "It has." She clearly started thinking herself, and he came to a stop at the fountain in the park they always walked by. Erika stopped beside him then leant on the fence, clearly lost in thought. "I almost forgot how much fun we always had."

"Yeah, me too." He admitted. He'd known they'd always had fun, even before they'd been in a relationship. The years between that and recently had dulled how much enjoyment he remembered them having, today hadn't been about any relationship, or anything besides two people enjoying their time together.

He hadn't noticed Erika studying him until she reached up and lifted his chin, just like she'd done any time he'd been off in his own world. "Jonathan, you don't seem yourself."

"I'm just thinking." He admitted after a moment pondering if that was the best thing to say. He wanted to say more, he wanted to tell her everything in his mind, but he wasn't sure she was ready for that or if he really wanted to talk about it. He did and didn't. No matter what he was certain that most of what he was thinking would be frowned on, and she would try to support him. Both of which would stop him feeling sorry for himself.

"Always a dangerous habit." She teased and elbowed him, and that was when he realised that if there was one person who would be able to stop his worries he should reach for that, and pretend that feeling sorry for himself wasn't a problem. He just wanted to mope. Obviously he stayed quiet a few seconds too long as Erika looked contrite and spoke again. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood, thinking?"

He thought over everything in his mind, all the thoughts and the fears and tried to focus on the one thing that seemed to dominate over all of them. What if he got back up to _Enterprise_ and he wasn't the Captain he'd once been. What if they left on a mission and he couldn't make a decision he needed to make because he was wracked with self doubt. Everything that was going through his mind could be boiled down to one question. "What if I'm not up to this?"

"Up to what? Being a captain?" Erika asked, her voice as slow and calm as it always was when they spoke about serious matters. She knew this wasn't a time to joke and tease, he needed serious Erika, and she seemed to get it.

But that was the question. Was he really up to being a Captain, after everything he had been through. "Well, yeah."

She scoffed and shook her head, then turned him to face her so he couldn't keep looking away. He would avoid this moment all he could, just in case she agreed with him. Just in case she asked the same question he was asking himself. Instead she laughed gently then stepped on her tiptoes and kissed the end of his nose. "Jon, you've always been a leader. You're the most natural leader I've ever met."

"I don't know if I want to do it, if I have the stomach for it now?" He tried to expand on his problems, on the pain he was trying to bury, trying to ignore. He didn't want to put anymore lives in danger, and he didn't want to risk anyone else getting hurt because of him. Seven million were enough.

Erika clearly understood why he was struggling, maybe not from experience, but from empathy. "They are two very different issues. If you don't want to do it, then talk to Forrest. He could no doubt change _Enterprise_'s mission profile for a while, or offer you a leave of absence to recover." That was all good, but while he was worried, he also didn't want to give up his command. He was about to say that when Erika continued. "If you don't have the stomach for it, suck it up. You've wanted this your whole life."

"I don't think it's being a Captain, when you break it down like that." It made him realise that, maybe, he didn't want to be put in the situation where he could be responsible for too many lives and too many problems. He needed backup and support. He didn't want to be out there alone. "I think it's exploration."

"So what? Maybe exploration no longer appeals to you, that's not surprising given all you've been through." Erika's casual commentary on what was to him a life changing revelation seemed shockingly cavalier, but he waited, almost sure she'd add something positive, or at least expand on what she thought. Maybe she was just getting her thoughts together too. "You have one of the most natural diplomatic minds in the command ranks, focus there. Get Forrest to assign you more diplomatic missions." That seemed to be too obvious, and was he really a diplomat?

There was another consideration. After all he'd put on the line to get Starfleet into deep space, wouldn't giving up on exploration and expansion be a bad sign. "Who will do the exploration if not me?" He asked, looking back at the fountain.

After a few seconds he became aware of Erika stood holding her hand out as if for a handshake. "Oh, hello. Apparently we haven't met. Captain Erika Hernandez, NX-02." She rattled off sarcastically and he realised why. She had signed up to Starfleet for the same reasons he had. To explore those new worlds and societies. If he didn't do it, then of course she would.

"Right. That was stupid." He admitted, then looked back at the fountain. Falling into his own cascading thoughts.

After a few minutes of silence Erika put her hand on his arm and dragged him back to this moment, long enough to hear what it was obvious she was desperate to say. "Jon, I have known you for fourteen years. I've known you through three separate assignments, god knows how many girlfriends, and through every confidence crisis you've ever had and you know what's always stayed the same?" The question didn't seem rhetorical, but he couldn't put his finger on exactly what she meant.

"What?" He finally asked, giving up thinking.

"My complete and utter faith that you will do whatever is asked of you, and that you'll do it to the highest possible standard." She lifted his chin once again. "You've never failed me Jon, and I don't think you ever will."

Her confidence in him did raise his spirits, it always had. There were still more doubts than he could shake a stick at, and he wasn't sure if her suggestion of trying to do more diplomatic missions would help, but he would try. "I still don't know if I'm ready to do it."

"You are, I told you this last week too." She sighed and he knew that she was beginning to get fed up of his pessimism. "As soon as you're back on _Enterprise_ full time you will find it all coming back to you. Besides, if you get into trouble you're not out there alone anymore."

"Oh, I'm not huh?" He grinned, glad to hear her telling him that she'd be there whenever he needed her. That was what he needed.

"No, if you ever need back-up, just call me. I'll come help." She smiled and slid her hand back into his, then lifting it to her lips and kissing his knuckles. He knew he was probably going to need more of these pep talks as the launch approached, but he hoped that Erika would keep giving them. That she would stay around enough to remind him that not all was lost on the decisions he'd made in the Expanse, that he had made some good decisions too. She'd been his cheering squad for as long as he could remember, and he hoped she'd keep doing it."


	36. Chapter 36

**More adjustments, and more decisions. 5 chapters to go on this now.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Sunday, week 6**_

It was the laziest of Sunday afternoons, and she couldn't really bring herself to feel guilty for that. Really she should be doing something, but she didn't want to. She hadn't wanted to get out of bed all day. She'd just wanted to stay curled up with Jonathan watching stupid movies and talking. They'd avoided serious topics all day, but she knew there was one they needed to talk about. "I can't believe _Enterprise_ launches in a few days." She mumbled after a second, just thinking she needed to do it.

Jon chuckled and started rubbing circles on her stomach in one of his usual ways. All of which calmed her and reminded her that no matter what they were in it together now. He was obviously thinking about _Enterprise_ and his prospective future missions too. "Well, not necessarily, but I will be moving up the ship again while I wait for orders."

"It's going to be weird, not spending our nights like this." She had gotten too used to it, and she knew they needed to break their dependency on each other, but that was not at all what she wanted to do. There were a million things she wanted to do.

"Yeah." Jon agreed at first, then looked her over once more and grinned. There was something a little pervy about that, not that she minded. He was clearly comfortable. "Maybe not exactly like this." He commented, and she understood his meaning too. Many nights would just be spent sleeping, comfortable together.

That didn't matter, not to her, and her favourite thing about them both having been on Earth for as long as they had been were the nights spent together. "We've done this pretty regularly." She commented, thinking seriously about the days and nights they had spent laid exactly like this.

"That's true, we have." Jon agreed with her, smiling. She felt so very comfortable, and went back to watching the movie. She didn't need to talk about anything much now. At least not about the situation. There were things she could say, things maybe she should say. He needed to hear some of her thoughts about how everything had changed over the last few weeks.

She knew that even if they hadn't decided to keep their relationship going, she would still have missed him. She would miss him now even more. It wouldn't matter to her that they would speak every few days. "I'm going to miss you, you know."

Jon looked at her seriously then snuggled his arm around her. It was obvious that he shared how she felt, but was maybe surprised that she'd said it at all. "You don't say that very often, Rike." He muttered a few seconds later with a grin.

"I know." She slipped her hand into his and smiled, accepting that this was how things were right now, and how she didn't want to leave it at that. Saying how she felt didn't always come naturally to her, but she was trying this time. "But I haven't felt like this in a really long time."

That was close, and Jon seemed to understand what she was trying to say. More proof that they were really designed to be together. "Neither have I."

"Everything is going to change again when you leave." She wasn't really worried about it, she knew that they would be able to work through the problems posed by being two or three sectors apart. It would take a while to get used to, but they'd manage.

Jon clearly wasn't as worried about it as she was. "Only if we let it." He kissed her again, and all of a sudden she felt so much better about everything. It told her that they could manage it all, especially when he grinned at her the way he was doing right now, and she had been pretty sure all along that she was the only person who had seen this particular grin. "I have wanted this since the day we met, I don't always say it, but you are all I want and I'm not going to let anything tear us apart again."

"After all this time, you still think you have to be the saviour, huh?" She leant down and kissed him as hard as she could, running her hands down his chest and stomach before settling back for another cuddle. She hadn't spent nearly enough time like this. The movie they were watching was another comedy. She wasn't quite sure which comedy it was, nor what was going on, but she refocused on it for a while as they stayed comfortably laid together.

"You know, Erika." Jon muttered after a while, and she was curious what had lead to him saying those words. There was a hint of teasing in what he was saying, and she had no idea exactly what it would be.

She she sat up a little so she could look at him again. "Jonathan?"

He looked cheerful, and that concerned her a little bit too. Not because he shouldn't be happy, but because when he looked like that he generally had something in mind. "Eventually we're going to need to christen _Columbia_ too." It took her a second, but the smile on his face told her that he mean christen in a very non-christian way.

"That sounds like it could be fun." She had to admit, it would be worth it. She had had too much fun when they'd last been on _Enterprise_ to say that she would never do it. They weren't going to have the time now, it was too soon before _Enterprise_ was due to launch.

Jon wrapped his arms around her waist even though she was sat up beside him. His grin kept reminding her where his brain was now. "I'm almost certain it will be."

"Next time you're home, OK. I'll be living on _Columbia_ by then."

"Two weeks, right?"

"Yep." She was pretty impressed that he remembered that. She'd only mentioned it once or twice.

Jon kissed her shoulder and cheek then laid back. "Send me pictures when you're settled." He said, and she had admit that was a nice idea. Send him pictures of her quarters once they were done and ready.

"I will." Erika promised then smiled, laying comfortably on his chest again. It was one of her favourite places to rest, and it was obvious that there was not going to be very much time left for them to do this. Soon, too soon, they would both be going about their other duties. She was going to make sure that she stayed in contact with him as much as she could.


	37. Chapter 37

**Jon moves back to Enterprise.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Monday, week 6**_

Jon had packed all of his bags, made sure he had rescued all of Porthos' toys from where they had migrated all over Erika's apartment, and had then said goodbye. They had made the decision to begin separating out now, getting ready for when they were on missions, and it was already hard to know he wouldn't be going back to the apartment he'd come to think of as home. He was back on _Enterprise_ now, back to his actual home. Porthos was clearly happy to be back on the ships' familiar decks, which just made Jon feel happier. He was still lost in thought when he felt a hand clap his shoulder and heard a familiar souther drawl."Moving back up here?"

He focused outward again and met the sarcastic smile of Trip Tucker, and he was suddenly very, very aware that he was back on his ship. Trip's presence was enough to remind him of that. "Yep, today was always going to be my goal for moving up here." He had made this goal the day _Enterprise_ had made it home and he'd had his first debriefing. It was hard to believe that had been 7 weeks ago. Only seven weeks. So much had changed.

Trip's brain was clearly working overtime, thinking about what the Captain moving back to the ship meant, but he was going to be wrong. Certainly his question led him that way. "Does that mean we have a mission?" He asked seriously, and Jon just shook his head then started walking again, whistling for Porthos to join them again.

"Not yet, but over the next 48 hours all leave ends." The last ones back from leave would be the senior staff, they were all due back on Thursday morning. He was sure they would be ready to come home by then. It had been a long, much needed break.

"Really? All of us?" Trip asked a little sarcastically, and Jon just narrowed his eyes at the engineer with a groan. It was all well and good he lived on _Enterprise_ full time, having no home town to speak of since the Xindi probe, but the others on the ship were not that easy to cope with.

He continued glaring then held his only spare hand out for the PADD Trip was carrying, which Jon knew would have the ship status report on it. "Yes. Give me the status report." He said at the same time, hoping that it would force Trip back into focusing on what they needed.

Trip carried on grinning before giving up his prize and smiling widely. "We're up at 100% again." There was a hint of pride in his voice, a sense that Jon shared. _Enterprise_ had proven she could take one hell of a beating and still do what was needed of her. Now she had been rewarded with a full refit. "Everything has been repaired. We're as good as when we last launched."

Jon looked at the clean and pristine bulkheads and smiled, hoping they would stay looking this way. "Hopefully this next time we'll have less shots taken at us?" He commented, that was the one thing he wanted out of this next mission. Less firefights, less chance of losing his crew. He didn't hold out hope for it, but it was still there in the back of his mind.

"Yeah." Trip commented, then looked at Jon with a smirk. It was obvious what was coming, and Jon still wasn't sure if he was ready to answer the questions he was sure would be coming. Telling Veronica, someone who had already known, and telling Trip were two different beasts, and he still wasn't completely sure how he was going to juggle everything. He had gotten ahead of himself though, and he managed to zoom back into Trip's words before missing his comment. "I haven't seen you much since we got back from New Mexico?"

That was actually easier to explain than he expected, and for professional reasons. There had been thirty positions on the ship he had needed to fill, and he'd wanted to wait as long as he could before making the decisions. He'd also wanted to see who had been tempted to _Columbia_ with the promise of career advancement. "I was recruiting the last of our replacements, and helping Erika with her recruitment."

"That wasn't my question." Trip commented as Jon finished, and really he was wrong. Trip hadn't asked anything specific. Jon just knew what he was aiming for and had decided not to give his friend the satisfaction of getting that answer.

Which was part of the amusement right now. He reached his quarters and smiled at the fact the room looked exactly as it had almost a week earlier when he and Erika had last stayed here. "I'm well aware of that."

"Come on Jon?" Trip almost begged, which was funnier to Jon that it probably should have been. There was something about a grown man begging for gossip. It was obvious Hoshi wasn't back on board yet, otherwise the grapevine would have been alive and kicking, and Trip would have already known what he was begging for.

"I've been busy, mostly with Starfleet business." He was going to make it so his friend had to keep begging. It was too much fun not to. Starfleet business included probably half of what he and Erika spoke about, so he wasn't exactly lying he was just being a bit liberal with the truth.

"I know I don't know Captain Hernandez very well, but I know you've been crazy for her as long as I've known you." Jon had been crazy for her longer than that, but he didn't feel the need to say it. He'd been crazy for her since the day they'd met. Fourteen years earlier. "It was nice to see you happy again, too."

He debated how to reply to that, a simple thanks would be mundane and most other replies would just be generally bad. Maybe it was time he tell his friend of his and Erika's plan. If anyone on _Enterprise_ deserved to know it was Trip. "Well, if we stick to what we've been thinking she and I aren't going to end anything just because we launch. Starfleet has no jurisdiction, and we're planning to keep it quiet. I've been happier than I can remember since she let me back in." He shrugged again and dropped his bag to the bed, happy to see Porthos already curling up on his pillow.

Trip was clearly mulling over Jon's decision to have a secret relationship. After a few seconds his face returned to it's previous grin, a little sadder than before. "That's good then."

"T'Pol told me about her marriage." Jon figured that was the root cause of Trip's maudlin demeanour. Jon didn't know what was going on with the two of them and, really, he didn't care. But that wasn't going to stop him being sympathetic.

The immediate change in Trip's stance told him that he'd hit the nail on the head. He wasn't necessarily happy about that, but at least it was something he could try to fix. Trip, however, just looked like he wanted to forget that Vulcan existed or that he'd ever been there. "Yeah. That was awkward."

"I can imagine. You'll get over it." That was inspiring as support, wasn't it.

Trip shook his head and tried to smile again. Clearly pushing that topic of conversation out of his mind entirely. "Hope so. Let's keep talking about you, at least that's happy."

"Mostly. I'll still be doing a lot of business on Earth, but I, and Porthos, will be back up here." He motioned to the puppy, who looked up at the sound of his name and barked once. It was definitely going to be a change for both of them to be back on _Enterprise_ all the time. Though it was quite obvious Porthos was at home anywhere there was cheese.

"That's good. Makes me think of things getting back to normal. Think we'll get a mission soon?" The eagerness in his voice reminded Jon again of the early days, when they were all so eager to explore.

There was no mission, yet. But Jon was sure the Admirals weren't going to leave a full staffed starship in dock once everyone was back aboard. There would be a mission soon enough. Though, he wasn't against having more time on Earth. It would mean more time to spend with Erika before they were both too busy. "As soon as one pops up. I'm happy to still wait a little while, because spending any extra time with Erika I get is a good thing."

"I bet." Trip looked genuinely happy for his friend, and Jon was grateful. He didn't want to rub his recent happiness in his friends' face, especially not now he understood Trip's hasty return from Vulcan. It wasn't really fair to do so, but Trip didn't seem to be thinking of it the same way Jon was. "I'm glad you're happy Jon."

"Finish those last upgrades." He gave the order with a grin, knowing only two or three still needed to be completed, but it was worth it to see Trip's complete annoyance that they were what he was focusing on. Especially since this was going to be the first night he'd spent alone in a while, he would take amusement wherever he could.


	38. Chapter 38

**Erika and Sam chat then realise something very wrong is happening.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Thursday, week 7**_

It had been a long few days, but mostly she'd spent it at space dock. She'd get dinner with Jon then either return to _Columbia_ or head back to Earth, then they'd end up calling each other anyway. It was ridiculous, and it had lead to her falling behind on her reports. She'd managed to read all the ones she'd had to read, but now it came to writing them. Force reports, crew transfer reports and readiness reports. All of which were showing _Columbia_ on schedule. They hadn't begun their engine tests though, that was still a week away. The growth in the reports pile on her desk had finally convinced her that she needed to take a day on Earth and actually do some work on the pile. It was going to be too annoying if she didn't and soon the brass would start getting on at her. So she shut off her comm system and settled into her busy writing space. It meant that she was surprised when there was an unexpected voice in her doorway. "You hiding in here?" She jumped and looked up to the friendly face of Captain Sam Gardner. He had been on the NX Programme with her and Jon, and they'd spent the last couple of Christmasses together as friends. She was glad to see him.

As for his question. She was confused. Did it look like she was hiding? Maybe she was a little, but not purposefully at least. "No, why?"

Sam pointed to her desktop monitor then leant against the arm of the sofa along one wall of her office. "I was trying to call you before, wondered if you wanted to grab some lunch while I was on Earth?" That was a nice offer, and if he'd called her she would have accepted. Then she remembered, he wouldn't have been able to get through to her.

"Oh, I turned my communications system off so I could finish these reports." She motioned at a stack that was almost as tall as her monitor, most she had now gone through, though not all of them. Looking at them definitely made things harder. They sapped her motivation the longer she looked at them, so she looked away and smiled at Sam again. "They've really built up over the last couple weeks."

"The joys of being a Captain, huh?" He asked with a knowing smile. She remembered the mess his office had been in the weeks before he'd moved up to his ship. Hers actually looked organised, tidy and relatively calm in comparison. That made her feel a little better.

"You're telling me." She couldn't help but tease. Sam had actually warned her about all of the paperwork the week she'd been promoted in her congratulatory letter from him. As she looked at the report she was currently midway through writing she realised most of the time she was still grasping at straws. She had managed to organise the entire Warp Five team, but that was nothing compared to a Warp Five ship. "I'm only just getting to know most of these things."

Sam smiled, once again clearly knowing what she meant. "Well, it'll be worth it when you're out there." He tried to reassure her. She thought about Jonathan, how broken he'd been and how much he had gone through to try and recover. She was both excited to get out there and absolutely terrified.

Most of all, right now she wasn't sure if this would all offset the amount of trouble she'd gone through to get it all ready. Was she really going to be able to pull this all off. "Will it?"

Sam stared at her then tutted his tongue against the top of his mouth in a disapproving way that told her he completely disagreed with her assessment of the situation. "You've been listening to Jonathan too much." He even knew where the worry was from. How did the NX Programme officers all still know each other so well after 14 years.

"Maybe." She had to concede that, but there was more to it than that. "But maybe he's got a point."

"Or maybe he's just had a bad experience out there." Maybe he had just had a really shit time. Actually, he had definitely had a really shit time, but that didn't mean it wasn't the possibility of it being the norm. "He's still an explorer E, just like you are. You two were always attracted to the stars, way more than the rest of us."

She would never have thought of it like that. She had always thought they were just the hopeless romantics of the team. Their belief that there was good out there unwavering. That had changed now, more for Jonathan, but it had definitely had an effect on her. "It's daunting though. Thinking about exploring new worlds and meeting new civilisations. There are days I'm not sure I'm up to it." That was probably going to be a worry she had until the ship launched. She was already sure of that.

"I'm sure you are." Sam once again just looked at her as if she'd grown another head, and she realised she probably sounded ridiculous to him. "If you're going to finish your reports can I hide in here and watch the news service. If I'm in my own office Commander Williams will find me." Williams did have a habit of managing to root out the Captains when they didn't want to be found. Therefore if Williams was searching for Sam, he would find him eventually.

"What makes you think he won't find you here?" That was the only question she had right now in light of Williams' talent.

Sam grinned smugly then slipped onto the sofa properly, sitting so he could easily see the monitor on the wall rather than the one on her desk. "He's scared of you and only speaks to you when he's ordered to."

"Oh yeah I forgot that." She grinned back, then rolled her eyes about his seat taking ability. "Sure, feel free to take a seat."

Sam clicked the Civilian News Service rolling news service on, and as he settled to watching the news she went back to her report. Hoping that the noise around her wouldn't distract her too much. After a few minutes Sam looked at her seriously, "is the rumour mill accurate about you and Jon?" He asked, and she wondered how this got everywhere.

While she wanted to tell him, she also knew that it probably wouldn't be the best of ideas. So she would find the most obvious way to not answer the question, and hope he'd know what she meant by it. "That's classified."

"That's a yes." He grinned a second later, and she was glad he had understood.

She just rolled her eyes, keeping up her part of the charade. Even though they both knew what she was saying. "It's classified nothing else."

As silence fell again, she went back to her reports, but a few minutes later her attention was required again. "Erika." She heard, and just continued on her report without looking up.

"I'm not saying any more on the subject, Sam, you'll have to work it out for yourself."

Sam stood up, and that was enough to drag her attention away. "That's not what I was trying to draw your attention to." Was enough for her to follow his pointing, and the banner telling them that there was something going on with the Klingons. How was the news service so well connected? As more information broke there was little she could think of.

"Fuck." Was the only way to sum this situation.

Sam apparently agreed that that was all that was needed. "You're not wrong."

"We need to see one of the Admirals." They needed more information, they needed concrete information and they needed to know what was going to be needed of them.

Sam thought for a moment then grabbed the carry all he'd brought in with him. "Forrest is in a meeting, Admiral Jones is probably best."

"Yeah. She owes me a favour too. Let's go." She stood up, leaving the reports she'd been studying abandoned and leading Sam out of the door. This wasn't looking good for Earth, and the only ship they had available to sort this was Enterprise. So it looked like Jon's time on Earth had come to a premature end. It would be OK in the end though, she hoped.


	39. Chapter 39

**This is the penultimate chapter. You're allowed to be sad. You're also allowed to shout at me... because my next fic it's super sad.**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Thursday, week 7**_

Jonathan had been called down to Command the second that the attack on the Klingons was confirmed, and he knew that Forrest would have had a lot of orders. Most of the briefing so far had been Forrest giving information and Jon listening and nodding. Both things he was very good at, but now he knew that they had a mission he was ready to get going. His senior staff was all due back in a few hours, he could brief them then. "You're ready to go aren't you Jonathan?" Forrest asked as his lecture came to a close.

Jon hadn't had to think about that answer before, and he only hesitated for a beat, but it was enough in his mind. He would shake this uncertainty soon. "Yes sir."

Forrest didn't seem to notice or care about the hesitation and continued giving orders. "You'll speak to Soong tonight, launch in the morning." He looked down at his PADD, and for a second Jon wondered why he just hadn't handed over the PADD with the information. There was probably another PADD for him to read, eventually. This was Admirals eyes only, maybe. After he'd read a second longer, Forrest looked back up to him. "This should be a three day mission unless there are unforeseen complications. In that case you need to contact. You're taking some of _Columbia_'s crew with you still."

"I know sir." Erika was never going to let him forget it either. She wasn't one to let an opportunity to tease him out of her hands.

Forrest looked fed up, maybe his job was beginning to wear on him. Which would be typical at this time of career. "Sort this mess out Jonathan."

"I will." He agreed, and left the office after being dismissed. He thought about going straight up to _Enterprise_, but then realised there was someone he'd like to see before he went back to the ship, so he adjusted his heading and went to Erika's office. He knew she was here today, working on the reports he'd caused her to neglect over the last few days. The fact he had managed that still worried him.

He knocked on the door and then walked through. She looked at him for only a second then stood up and threw her arms around his neck. _Clearly_ she was worried about this mission, but he wasn't sure why. He had been on many more dangerous missions before. "Hey, I heard about the Klingons. I assume you're being ordered to catch them?"

"Yeah, maybe they'll remove my fugitive status as a reward?" He laughed, and she punched his arm playfully. He knew she wasn't really happy about his jokes like that, but he couldn't help himself when she was there.

"Maybe." She said, then stepped onto her tiptoes and kissed him forcefully. It took everything in him not to fall back against the door, but instead he pulled her closer, balanced their weight better, and made it so that they were secure. "Be careful OK." She commanded when they finally broke for some air, and he pulled back just far enough to brush the hair out of her eyes.

"I will." he leant forward and pecked her lightly on the cheek then thought of his own deal to present to her for when he got home. "You promise me that when we come home you have everything sorted. I have a few officers to drop off with mommy."

"Mommy?" She asked, and maybe he'd made a poor decision there. An extremely poor decision. Probably the poorest decision he'd made in years.

But that didn't mean he was going to back away now. She was already annoyed at him, might as well go for broke. "Well, that was probably a bad analogy, but it still works."

She stared at him for a few seconds then smiled, and he worried for a second what she had thought up that could cause her position to change so completely in only a few seconds. This wasn't going to end well. "Does that make you 'not the mommy'?"

"If you say so." He admitted with a grin, and was just happy she hadn't had anything more serious to say about him. She probably did, but maybe she was going easy on him given that he was going to have to leave in just a few hours. That brought his mind back to what he needed to do, and why he needed to do it. "I have to go speak to Soong tonight."

The worry on Erika's face multiplied, and he realised how long it had been since he had seen that exact emotion on her face. Far too long in his opinion, not that he liked her being worried, he did like her worrying about him though. "Remember, Jonathan, these people- these Augments, they are stronger and faster than we are. Keep your wits about you." She said, placing her hand on his cheek again and smiling.

He could understand why she was so worried. If their roles were reversed he'd have been worried about her. She was never stupid enough to put herself in unnecessary danger. "I'm not stupid enough to rush too far into it. Hopefully we can talk them into surrendering. If not I'll figure something else out." He tried to be confident at least.

"Just don't get yourself killed." So, maybe she hadn't bought his confidence, but he'd tried. He really would try not to get killed. That would actually hamper his hopes and plans for the next couple of decades.

"If I do, do I get to haunt you?" That would be a way to stop his 'hopes and dreams' issue. He could still be around Erika, it would definitely be funny and they'd be together. He'd still rather not be dead.

She just glared at him for a second then looked very distasteful. "No. That would be mean."

"It would be fun." He smiled, and tugged her closer to him again. Not really ready to say goodbye but knowing it was time. "I love you. I'll see you in a few days."

"You will I promise you." He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply for a second. Getting one extra moment to hold onto her before he dove headlong into his next mission is was a worrying time for him. He was almost certain that it was going to be fine. He just needed to get over the hump. Now he was back in control it felt better already.


	40. Chapter 40

**Here we go. This is it, the last chapter. The next story is going to be a little oneshot, partially to explain a GIANT PLOT POINT I reveal in the next multi-chapter fic I'm posting. Look out for them. The oneshot is going to be "Do They Still Think Of Me" and the multi-chap is called "What Kind Of Day Has It Been?" **

**This chapter is set during the episode "Borderland".**

**Shin xx**

* * *

_**Friday, Week 7**_

Erika hadn't really been feeling anything tonight. She'd already decided they needed to have a night in rather than go out, and while they'd been at her place she'd barely said anything that wasn't monosyllabic. Veronica had gotten up to go to the bathroom probably ten minutes earlier, and Erika had just ended up looking at one of the pictures she'd had printed. It was from the 602 a couple of weeks earlier. She and Jon were chatting at the bar. Ruby had thought the scene was adorable so had snapped the picture. Erika had been looking at it on and off all night, but it only served to make her feel more miserable tonight. "Missing him already?" She jumped, and Veronica just held her hands up before slipping back onto the sofa and starting the movie again. That said it all, Erika hadn't even realised it was paused.

So she was clearly missing Jon, and it was obvious to her friend too. There was no reason to lie. "Yeah."

"He's made you happier than I've seen you since AG died." Erika couldn't really disagree with that. She had been down since AG died. He'd been her closest friend other than Jonathan for 14 years, and the last year had been the hardest she'd ever had to face, and she'd done it without half of her support system. Jon and AG, both gone. At least Veronica and Simon had been there. Veronica clearly realised exactly how important both those men had been to her, in such very different ways. "I figured he was why you were so down. When did he leave?"

"Yesterday, he had to go and collect Dr. Soong." She frowned. Both at why he'd left and who he was having to work with. They had both been in Starfleet when he'd stolen his embryos 19 years earlier. Though only just. They would have both been in STC. It was hard to know that he was having to deal with that. Add on that he'd left and she was definitely letting all that affect her more than she probably should have. It was hard not to let it get her down.

Veronica had also known all about her plans for this coming weekend, so would also maybe understand why Erika was feeling so put out by the timing of Soong's creations going off the deep end. "Bit earlier than you expected him leaving. Must be bummed." That was the understatement of the decade, Erika was pretty sure about that. 'Bummed' was how she felt if she didn't beat a time in the gym. Miserable was how she felt right now.

She wasn't going to admit that though. That was not something she needed to let get out. Not at all. "A little." There had to be a possible upside to this situation. There had to be. With _Columbia_'s launch getting ever nearer she should probably be more focused on the ship and less focused on her turbulent love life. "Means I'll maybe be more focused on actually staffing the ship. Reiko and Stewart are on their last mission with _Enterprise_ now. When they bring Soong back they'll be officially under my command." That was a terrifying thought, wasn't it. She almost had a full crew. They were going to be hers, and they were going to be launching so soon. When _Enterprise_ returned they'd probably be doing their last checks.

"You gonna see Jon when they get back?" Veronica asked, and Erika could tell there was a lot riding on her answer to her friend. She hadn't thought too much about it. Given the nature of Jon's mission she didn't expect him to be gone long.

"We might get dinner." She didn't want to give away any information more than that when she was so unsure herself. Would they see each other? Almost certainly. What would happen then was the question. They both needed a little distance from each other, physically if not emotionally. "I think we're both needing to get more used to not spending all our time together again. The last seven weeks have been pretty intense."

Veronica nodded, clearly understanding Erika's dilemma. "Did you decide what the two of you were going to do?" Last time they had spoken Erika had still been flip-flopping on the idea of a long term relationship. Mentally she was still trying to convince herself she made the right decision.

"I think so. We still haven't put a name on us, I don't think we ever will, but we've not ended things like last time." That was probably important for anyone who had known them back then. Especially since Erika seemed to remember Veronica had firmly been in the camp of calling them stupid for breaking up anyway. With a few years distance from the decision Erika admitted that maybe she had had a point. "We're not talking about not seeing each other anymore, and we've both admitted that we want this to be long term."

"But?" Veronica had also known her better than anyone but Jon and Simon. Of course she would have known about the but.

So, on one hand she would have someone to listen to her worries and on the other Veronica wasn't exactly objective. After a few seconds of mental argument the first hand won, and Erika sighed before starting on her current worries. "But, I'm not sure it's going to be possible. We're Starfleet Captains, Ron. Are we fooling ourselves?"

Veronica looked thoughtful again, and it was suddenly becoming more obvious that she maybe agreed that they were fooling themselves. "Yeah, but you're managing to fool the rest of us too. So don't worry about it." That was a far more optimistic outlook on her question than she'd expected.

"I considered resigning you know, for all of 30 seconds. He considered it for a full minute." She laughed, it had been the longest she'd ever thought about giving up her career, and even now she couldn't say whether she would have given up or not. It helped that Jon had had the same thought. "But we're both damn good at what we do. It would be an insult to the good men and women who trained us if we quit now."

"Not to mention AG would find a way to haunt you." Veronica grinned, and that made it obvious that she had thought too much of this.

"That too. But it's May, and we're due to launch in 6 weeks. Let's focus on that." June. They were launching in June. She couldn't really believe that it had managed to come this quickly. She hadn't focused on it enough recently, and now it was going to be all she focused on, her main distraction wasn't here for for now.

"We should. Also, Erika. You don't have to think about what is appropriate here." That was yet another thing that she had worried about, and she was glad that her friend knew her well enough to know that. Veronica continued with a smile. "You and Jon aren't going to be on Earth for a long time, and believe me, our crews will understand that you need to let off steam too. Focus on that."

Something about that made her think that possibly writing to Jon to tell him she was thinking about him. "I should write him."

Veronica, however had other ideas. "Or you should go to sleep. It's late. I'll crash on the sofa." She waved her hand in the direction of the sofa Erika was sat on.

"I do have a spare room you know." She pointed to the other door in the room. The one that didn't lead to the kitchen and then the master bedroom.

"Yeah but the sofa is comfortable." Well. Maybe Veronica had a point. Her spare bed was not the most comfortable of places. "Your spare room is decidedly not."

"Screw you too."

"I'll see you in the morning Erika. It's the next step in the journey of your life, and Jon's gonna be in it. You already know that."

"You cheesy shit Ron." Erika threw the teatowel at her friend and shook her head, continuing through to the master bedroom. The bedroom that for the last several weeks had mostly been shared. It was a little pathetic that she was missing him already, but Veronica was right. They had the next step and the next stage to go, and she knew that she always had a companion waiting for her. She and Jon would work it out, they always did.


End file.
